10. My Turn

10 My Turn I stepped up on the platform where Santa was sitting and climbed on his lap. Ms. Hannah told me to smile, and she snapped my picture. This was it. Everything I had ever done had been leading up to this moment. Now my life was complete. If I suddenly dropped dead, at least I could say that I had met Santa Claus. That is, if I hadn't dropped dead. Because if you're dead, you can't talk. "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said as he handed me a candy cane and a coloring book. Whew! Santa has bad breath! "Say, little boy, your name isn't A.J. by any chance, is it?"

"How did you know?" I asked. "I'm Santa," Santa said. "I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake." "That's creepy," I said. "Do you have night vision goggles?" "Ha! Ha! Ha!" laughed Santa. "No, but I know if you've been bad or good, A.J. Be good for goodness' sake!"

Santa must have a GPS and state-of-theart art surveillance technology. I'm not sure, but I think that's an invasion of privacy. "So what do you want for Christmas, A.J.?" Santa asked me. "I want the new Striker Smith Commando," I said. "It comes with a missile

launcher, voice activator, attack dog, and deluxe blowtorch. All other accessories sold separately. Batteries not included." "Striker Smith?" said Santa. "You mean the superhero action figure from the future who travels through time and fights all who dare to thwart his destiny?" "Yes!" Wow, Santa really knows his toys. "A.J., didn't I bring you a Striker Smith action figure two Christmases ago?" Santa asked me. "Yeah," I replied. "He fell under the school bus, and his head came off." "And didn't I bring you another Striker Smith action figure last Christmas?" "Yeah," I said. "He met his untimely end when his head got tragically melted in a battle with an evil magnifying glass." "I'm sorry to hear that," Santa said. "I

hope you'll take better care of Striker Smith this year." "I will, Santa!" "Good. Merry Christmas, A.J. Ho! Ho! Ho!" I looked out at the kids waiting in line. I wondered how Santa would remember which presents we all asked him for. "Are you going to write down that I asked for a Striker Smith action figure?" I asked Santa. "That won't be necessary," he replied. "How will you remember, Santa?" "My mind is like a steel trap," he told me. "You catch animals with your head?" I asked. "No, I mean I have a good memory," Santa told me. "That's how I remember what I bring you each year."

Some of the parents in the crowd were looking at their watches. I guess my time was up. But this might be the only chance in my whole life that I would get to talk with Santa. I didn't want to leave. "Can I ask you one question, Santa?" "Sure, A.J." "I understand how reindeer can fly," I said, "but doesn't your sleigh need a wing on each side, for stability?" "The Christmas spirit lifts it up," Santa said. "Yeah, but the sleigh doesn't look very aerodynamic," I told him. "Why not use a helicopter instead?" "I thought you had just one question," Santa said. "How is it possible to visit every house in the world in one night?" I asked. "What about the houses that don't have chimneys?