8 August

8 August July was pretty weird. But the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened on the first day of August. Mrs. Roopy wasn't in the media center when we got there. Instead, some guy was shelving books. He had giant red lips and was wearing white gloves, striped pants, a silly hat, a frizzy orange wig, and a red ball on his nose.

"Hi, kids!" he shouted when he saw us. "Eeeeeeek!" Emily screamed. "Help!" shouted Ryan. "Run for your lives!" shouted Neil. Everybody was yelling and screaming and freaking out.

"It's just me!" the guy said as he peeled off his rubber face. It turned out to be Mrs. Roopy in disguise. "Why are you dressed like a clown, Mrs. Roopy?" asked Andrea. "Because the first week in August is International Clown Week!" she replied. "Let's not celebrate!" we all shouted. "What's the problem?" asked Mrs. Roopy. "On International Clown Week, we celebrate the efforts that clowns put in to make people laugh. Don't you like to laugh?" "No!" we all shouted. "Clowns are scary!" said Michael. "Why?" asked Mrs. Roopy. "They just are!" Emily whimpered as she cowered in the corner. "I think this is gonna give me nightmares," I said. "That's silly," Mrs. Roopy told us. "Relax. I'll make you some balloon animals." "No!" we all shouted. "We don't want balloon animals!" That's when our principal, Mrs. Stoker, came in. She was dressed like a clown too.

"Hey," she said, "do you know why cannibals don't eat clowns?" "Why?" "Because they taste funny!" Nobody laughed at Mrs. Stoker's joke, even if she is the principal. The day got worse after that. We went to art, and Ms. Hannah was dressed like a clown. Then we went to science, and Mr. Docker was dressed like a clown. Then we went to music, and Uncle Fred was dressed like a clown. Then we went to fizz ed, and Miss Small was dressed like a clown. All the teachers were dressed like clowns! They were clomping around in big red shoes and chasing us while honking horns, riding unicycles, juggling, and doing other scary clown stuff. International Clown Week was horrible. I wanted to run away to Antarctica and go live with the penguins.*

It was looking like August was going to be the worst month in the history of months. But then August 5 came. It was National Water Balloon Day and National Underwear Day. Yes, on the same day! So we got to go out on the playground and have a water balloon fight in our underwear. It

was so much fun that I almost forgot it was International Clown Week. Almost. I still think I'm gonna have nightmares.