3 March

3 March "Guess what?" Mrs. Roopy said when we walked into the media center on March 1. "Today is National Pig Day!" "Let's celebrate!" we all shouted. I didn't know there was a holiday for pigs. But it's true. In 1972, a teacher named Ellen Stanley

started National Pig Day. So, of course, Mrs. Roopy had us look up stuff about pigs. A lot of people think pigs are dumb animals. The truth is pigs are really smart. They can learn commands and do tricks, like walking in a circle or balancing on their front feet. In fact, pigs are smarter than some kids I know. But I'm not going to name names. Andrea! Just kidding! Actually, Andrea is the smartest kid in our class. The guys are always teasing me and saying I'm in love with her. That is a total lie.* People also say pigs are dirty and smelly. But the truth is that pigs are very clean and organized animals. Here are a few other things we learned about pigs: A female pig is called a gilt, and she can give birth to more than ten piglets in a litter. Hey, I thought littering was a bad thing. The valves in a pig's heart can be used to replace a human's broken heart valves. Denmark has more pigs than people. A pig can drink fourteen gallons of water in a day.

On National Pig Day, people have pig parades and pig parties. We didn't have a real pig in school, so we made piggy banks and origami pigs. Then we read books about pigs and watched a video with Miss Piggy in it. Before dismissal, we had a big "snort off" to see who could make the best pig sounds. Andrea won, of course, so Mrs. Roopy gave her a hat that said "I Am a Pig" on it. National Pig Day was fun, and so were the other weird holidays that took place this month. March 1 is also National Peanut Butter Lovers' Day, so we ate lots of peanut butter.

March 5 is National Cheetos Day, so we ate lots of Cheetos. March 7 is Cereal Day, so we ate lots of cereal. March 9 is Meatball Day, so we ate lots of meatballs. March 13 is National Earmuff Day, so we ate lots of earmuffs. Just kidding. We didn't eat earmuffs. That would really be weird. I don't even think Ryan would eat an earmuff. Well, maybe if you put ketchup on it.