12 December

12 December We just ignored Dr. Carbles and went right on celebrating all the weird holidays in December. Did you know that December 3 is International Baboon Day? That was a new one on me. "Let's celebrate!" we all shouted. So the whole school dressed up like baboons. Even the teachers.

December 4 is National Sock Day and Wear Brown Shoes Day. December 6 is Put on Your Own Shoes Day and National Microwave Oven Day. December 8 is Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day. December 15 is National Cat Herders Day. December 16 is National Chocolate-Covered Anything Day. December 18 is National Wear a Plunger on Your Head Day and Answer the Phone Like Buddy the Elf Day. Yes, there really is a National Wear a Plunger on Your Head Day! We celebrated all those weird holidays, and it was so much fun. But there's another important event that takes place in our town every year just before Christmas—the annual Board of Education meeting. What a snoozefest, right? A bunch of grownups sitting around the all-porpoise room talking about school stuff. Ugh. I'm bored of education. But it wasn't going to be a snoozefest this year because the Board of Ed was going to vote on Dr. Carbles's proposal to cancel all school holidays... permanently.

I would never go to a Board of Education meeting. But Mrs. Roopy said that all of us—kids, teachers, and parents—should go to the meeting and make our voices heard. So we did. We even made signs: WE WANT HOLIDAYS! DR. CARBLES IS LOSING HIS MARBLES! When we got to the all-porpoise room for the meeting, the twelve members of the Board of Education were on the stage sitting at a table with Dr. Carbles in the middle. It looked like that famous painting The Last Supper. "WE WANT HOLIDAYS!" we started chanting. "WE WANT HOLIDAYS!" "Quiet!" barked Dr. Carbles. "I call this annual meeting of the Board of Education to order." He banged a big wooden hammer on the table. Grown-ups always bang a big wooden hammer on a table during meetings. Nobody knows why. "Today is a great day," Dr. Carbles began. "Today we will vote to get rid of all holidays at Ella Mentry School forever." "BOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Shut up!" barked Dr. Carbles. "Before we vote, the law says we have to allow ordinary

citizens to make comments. So, if nobody has a comment—" "I have a comment!" shouted a lady in the back of the room. "What is it?" Dr. Carbles said wearily. The lady went up to the microphone in the middle of the all-porpoise room. "The other day, my daughter brought home a book from the school library," she said. "It was called The Fuzzy Bunny." "The school library is called the fuzzy bunny?" somebody asked. "No, the book is called The Fuzzy Bunny," the lady said. Mrs. Roopy stood up. "That's one of our most popular books," she said. "Do you have a problem with it?"

"Yes," the lady said. "It contains the word but." "Do you mean 'but' with one T or 'butt' with two Ts?" a board member asked. "One T," the lady said. "However, it sounds just like the word with two Ts! I don't want my kids reading that book and going around saying the B word. I don't think any child should be reading a book with that word in it." "I agree," said Dr. Carbles. "The lady makes a good point." "The B word?" asked Mrs. Roopy. "But... but... but—" "Do you see what I mean?" the lady said. "Disgusting!" "That's ridiculous!" shouted Mrs. Roopy. "Do you have any other problems with The Fuzzy Bunny?" "Yes," the lady said. "It has violence in it." "WHAT?!" said Mrs. Roopy. "There's no violence in The Fuzzy Bunny." "Oh no?" the lady said as she held up the book. "What do you call this?" "That's a picture of bunnies playing violins!" said Mrs. Roopy.

"'Violins' sounds a lot like 'violence' to me!" the lady said. "Is this what we want to teach our children? I say we should ban it." "I totally agree," said Dr. Carbles. "Ma'am, we're going remove that book from the school library. Thank you for bringing it to our attention. Okay, enough public comments. It's time to vote on my proposal to end school holidays at Ella Mentry School permanently." "WE WANT HOLIDAYS!" we started chanting. "WE WANT HOLIDAYS!" Dr. Carbles banged his wooden hammer on the table. "Stop that annoying chanting, or we will shut down Ella Mentry School today and turn it into a toxic waste dump. Let's vote." "No!" shouted Mrs. Roopy. "Our students demand to be heard!" "I've had enough of your silly holidays," barked Dr. Carbles. "World Toilet Day. International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Those are fake holidays!" Mrs. Roopy got up and went over to the microphone.