1 January

Hip, Hip, Hooray! Ever Day Is a Holiday!

嗨，嗨，万岁！每天都是假日！

1 January My name is A.J., and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking about pillow fights. I know because that's what I'm thinking about. Of course you're thinking about pillow fights. There's a picture of a pillow fight on the cover of this book. So you probably figure this is going to be a book about pillow fighting. Well, you're

我叫a.j.，我知道你在想什么。 你在想枕头大战。 我知道，因为我就是这么想的。 你当然在想枕头大战。 这本书的封面上有一张枕头大战的照片。 所以你可能觉得这是一本关于枕头大战的书。 好吧,你

wrong! There are no pillow fights in this book. We just put the pillow fight on the cover to throw you off. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you! My point is, it was January 1—the first day of the year. I should be happy because we don't have school on January 1. But no. I'm sad. Why? Because winter vacation is over. School starts tomorrow. Ugh. Bummer in the winter! I'm going to have to wait another five months until summer vacation. Five months! That's almost a year. No fair. January is my least favorite month. It's cold out and it gets dark way too early. What's up with that? We can't go out and play after dinner because it's already nighttime. I say there should be a law that nighttime can't officially start until nine o'clock. So January is the worst month of the year, and New Year's Day is the worst day of the year. And this year, January 2 was almost as bad as January 1. We were in Miss Banks's class at school. I put my backpack in my cubby, and we pledged the allegiance.

错了!这本书里没有枕头大战。 我们只是在封面上放了枕头大战来迷惑你。 所以不要不要不要不要不要！我想说的是，那天是1月1日——一年的第一天。 我应该很高兴，因为我们在1月1日不用上学。 但是没有。我很伤心。为什么?因为寒假结束了。 明天就要开学了。啊。 冬天的流浪者！我得再等五个月，直到暑假。 五个月!差不多有一年了。 不公平的。一月份是我最不喜欢的月份。 外面很冷，天黑得太早了。 这是怎么回事？晚饭后我们不能出去玩，因为已经是晚上了。 我认为应该有一条法律规定，晚上九点之前不能正式开始。 所以一月是一年中最糟糕的一个月，元旦是一年中最糟糕的一天。 今年，1月2日几乎和1月1日一样糟糕。 我们在学校和班克斯小姐同班。 我把背包放进柜子里，我们宣誓效忠。

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked Miss Banks. "It's 'may,'" she replied. "No it isn't," I told her. "It's January." I can't believe Miss Banks doesn't know what month it is. How did she get to be a teacher? Anyway, that's when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. An announcement came over the loudspeaker telling us to go to the all-porpoise room.* Well that's not the weird part. We go to the allporpoise room all the time. The weird part was what happened after that. We lined up and pringled over to the allporpoise room. When we got there, the other

“我能去洗手间吗？”我问班克斯小姐。 “是‘may’，”她回答。 “不，不是的，”我告诉她。 “这是一月。”真不敢相信班克斯小姐竟然不知道现在是几月。 她是如何成为一名教师的？ 总之，这就是世界历史上最奇怪的事情发生的时候。 扩音器里传来通知，叫我们去海豚室。这还不是最奇怪的地方。 我们经常去海豚室。 奇怪的是之后发生的事。 我们排好队，蹑手蹑脚地走到海豚室。 当我们到了那里，另一个

classes were already sitting down and our principal, Mrs. Stoker, was up on the stage. Everybody was talking, so she made a peace sign with her fingers, which means "shut up." We all shut up. "Welcome back to school!" said Mrs. Stoker. "And Happy New Year! I hope everybody had a great holiday. Say, did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar on New Year's Eve? He got twelve months. Get it?" I didn't get it. Mrs. Stoker is a joker. When she's not being our principal, she's a stand-up comedian. Everybody laughed even though her joke wasn't funny. You should always laugh at the principal's jokes. That's the first rule of being a kid. "But seriously," said Mrs. Stoker. "Did you hear about the caterpillar's New Year's resolution? It's going to turn over a new leaf!" About half the kids laughed. "Do you know what's at the end of January?" asked Mrs. Stoker. "The letter Y!" A few kids laughed. "There's a big parade in January," said Mrs. Stoker. "I don't think February will march, but

班已经坐下来，我们的校长斯托克夫人站在台上。 每个人都在说话，所以她用手指做了一个和平手势，意思是“闭嘴”。 我们都闭嘴。“欢迎回到学校！”斯托克太太说。 “新年快乐！”我希望每个人都度过了一个愉快的假期。 嘿，你听说了吗？有个小偷在新年前夜偷了一本日历。 他被判了12个月。明白了吗?”我没明白。 斯托克太太是个爱开玩笑的人。当她不是校长的时候，她是一个单口相声演员。 大家都笑了，尽管她的笑话并不好笑。 你应该总是对校长讲的笑话发笑。 这是当孩子的第一准则。 “可是说真的，”斯托克太太说。 “你听说毛毛虫的新年决心了吗？” 它将翻开新的一页！”大约一半的孩子笑了。 “你知道一月底是什么节日吗？”斯托克太太问。 “字母Y!”几个孩子笑了。 “一月份有一个大游行，”斯托克太太说。 “我不认为二月会游行，但是