7 Unhappy Campers

7 Unhappy Campers After we chased the skunk out of the bunk, it was hard to fall asleep again. My heart was racing. I think I got about twenty minutes of sleep all night. The first thing I heard on Monday morning was... "RISE AND SHINE!"

It was Uncle Ahdoanwanna, the camp director. "Everybody up!" he shouted as he threw open the door to our bunk. "The rain stopped! The sun is out! It's a perfect day for hiking!" Oh no. Not hiking. "Do we have to?" I groaned. "Yes!" he replied, all excited. "We're going on a ten-mile hike." What?! We have to walk ten miles? Didn't they invent cars so people wouldn't have to walk ten miles? We got dressed. Uncle Ahdoanwanna told us to put on bug spray and sunscreen, and to fill our water bottles. "Hydrate or die-drate!" he shouted. "What about breakfast?" Neil asked. Uncle Ahdoanwanna tossed each of us a granola bar and said, "Here's your breakfast. Let's go!" We followed him on a path that led to the woods behind the camp. "If we're lucky," Uncle Ahdoanwanna said, "maybe we'll see some wildlife." Wildlife? We didn't have to go on a hike to see wildlife. It was in our bunk last night.

We started walking. And walking. And walking. My feet were hurting. My back was sore. My legs were itchy all over. "Are we there yet?" asked Ryan. "Isn't there a bus we can take?" asked Neil. Uncle Ahdoanwanna laughed. "Look at that tree!" he said, pointing at some dumb tree. "It's a pignut hickory."

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I say if you've seen one tree, you've seen 'em all. But Uncle Ahdoanwanna had to point out every tree, fern, and bush we passed along the way. What a snoozefest. My feet hurt. I had mosquito bites all over my body.* I thought I was gonna die. "Look!" Uncle Ahdoanwanna shouted suddenly and pointed at the ground in front of us. "It's a banana slug!" If you don't know what a banana slug is, you're not missing much. It's a slug that looks like a banana. So it has the perfect name. It's even yellow. I'm surprised they didn't serve it for lunch in the mess hall. "They say it brings good luck if you kiss a banana slug," said Uncle Ahdoanwanna. "A.J.," said Ryan, "you should kiss the banana slug." "Forget it," I replied. "KISS THE SLUG! KISS THE SLUG!" everybody started chanting. I don't care how much they chant. I'm not kissing a slug. We walked a million hundred miles through the woods. At some point, Candyman sidled up to

me. "Y'know," he whispered, "if we had tunneled out of camp last night, we wouldn't be doing this right now." "Yeah?" I replied. "Well, soon my parents will get the letter I wrote them, and they'll take me home. I'll be out of here." Finally, there was a clearing in the woods, and I could see Camp Ahdoanwanna. We must have walked ten miles in a big circle. In other words, we didn't go anywhere. What a waste of time. "Wasn't that fun?" asked Uncle Ahdoanwanna. "No!" we all shouted. Before he left us, I saw him looking at my leg. "Hmmmm," he said, "you might have poison ivy, A.J. I need to take you to the infirmary." I've never had poison ivy before, but it sounds horrible because it has the word "poison" in it. Uncle Ahdoanwanna led us to a cabin that said INFIRMARY on the door. There was a lady inside. "Hi, everybody!" she said. "I'm Aunt Debbie, the camp nurse. What's the problem?" "A.J. has poison ivy," said Michael.