2 Camp Ahdoanwanna

2 Camp Ahdoanwanna On Sunday, we drove a million hundred miles until there weren't any houses or stores on the side of the road anymore. This dumb sleepaway camp was in the middle of nowhere. Or maybe it was in the edge of nowhere. How can nowhere have a middle? My point is, there was nothing around. If a spaceship landed in the

road and some aliens kidnapped us, nobody would know about it. "I gotta pee," I told my parents. "Is it an emergency, A.J.?" asked my mom. "We'll be at the camp any minute." Man, they should really put toilets in cars. Toilets should be like seatbelts. Finally, we came to a sign at the side of the road—CAMP AHDOANWANNA. We had to drive a long way on a dusty dirt road through the woods until we reached the camp. You know who really loves going to sleepaway camp? Mosquitoes! As soon as I got out of the car, I was attacked by a swarm of them. They were all over the place. That was weird. Mosquitoes can go anywhere they want. Why do they all go to sleepaway camp? A golf cart came zipping down the dirt road and stopped in front of us. Some old guy with a beard hopped out. His T-shirt said "Camp Ahdoanwanna" on it. "Welcome!" he said, pumping my hand, "I'm Uncle Ahdoanwanna, the director of Camp

Ahdoanwanna! Are you ready to have fun, fun, fun?" "No, no, no," I replied. "Ha-ha-ha!" he laughed. "Kids always say that. But I promise you, six days from now, you'll be crying your eyes out because you won't want to go home." "I really doubt that," I told him. Uncle Ahdoanwanna checked his clipboard for my name. Then he showed me which bunk I should go to. It was right next to the big flagpole in the middle of all the bunks. I dragged my duffel bag out of the car while my parents talked to Uncle Ahdoanwanna about the weather and other stuff grown-ups care about.

Some kids were hanging out on the front porch of the bunk. As I got closer, I saw Michael, Ryan, Neil, and a boy I didn't know. "I didn't know you guys wanted to go to sleepaway camp," I told my friends. "I only came because my parents said you would be here," Michael said to Ryan. "I only came because my parents said you would be here," Ryan said to Michael.

"I only came because my parents said you three would be here," said Neil. Oh, great. None of us wanted to go to sleepaway camp. Our parents tricked us into going by telling us the rest of us would be going.* Mom and Dad came over to me to say goodbye. "Well, this is it," said my dad. "You're going to have a great time, A.J. We'll see you on Saturday." "You be a good boy," said my mom, giving me a hug. "No hugging in front of the guys!" I told her. "We love you, A.J.," said my dad. Not the L word! Gross! "I can't believe it," my mom said with tears in her eyes. "Look at you, such a big boy going to sleepaway camp. It seems like only yesterday that you were in diapers." Then they drove away. "You were in diapers yesterday?" Ryan asked. The guys all laughed even though he didn't say anything funny. I dragged my duffel bag into the bunk. There were mosquitoes in there too. I could already feel

the bites on my arms and legs. Everything inside the bunk was made out of wood. It was like Abraham Lincoln's house. The one kid I didn't know followed me inside. "Psssssssst!" he whispered. "C'mere." I went over to him. He was wearing a trench coat, like spies wear. What is his problem? Who wears a trench coat during the summer? "You new?" he whispered. "Yeah," I told him. "Well, I've been coming to this camp since I was six," he whispered. "I know all the ins and outs. What's your name?" "A.J.," I told him. "What's yours?" "Shhhhh!" he whispered, for no reason. "Everybody calls me... Candyman." "Why do they call you Candyman?" I asked Candyman. He opened his trench coat. All kinds of candy were hanging from it. Kit Kats. Milk Duds. Sugar Babies. Twix. Snickers. Mars bars. It was like his trench coat was a candy store. "You like candy?" he whispered. "I'm your man. I'll set you up. I've got gummy bears,