11 The End of Everything

11 The End of Everything "RISE AND SHINE!" announced Uncle Ahdoanwanna the next morning. It was Friday, the last day of camp. We got dressed and went outside to pledge the allegiance. That's when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened.

“天亮了！”第二天早上，阿多旺纳叔叔宣布。 那是星期五，夏令营的最后一天。 我们穿好衣服，走到外面宣誓效忠。 就在那时，世界历史上最奇怪的事情发生了。

We gathered in a big circle around the flagpole for assembly. Well, that's not the weird part because we do that every morning. The weird part was when we looked up at the flagpole. You'll never believe in a million hundred years what was up there. I'm not gonna tell you. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. IT WAS MY UNDERWEAR! "Somebody snuck into our bunk and stole my underwear!" I shouted. "It had to be Andrea!" "Ooooh," said Ryan. "Andrea stole A.J.'s underwear and hung it from the flagpole! They must be in love!" "When are you gonna get married?" asked Michael. After they took down my underwear and put up the flag, it started raining. Of course! So instead of pickleball, we had to go to arts and farts, where we made lanyards with Aunt Nancy. Do you know what a lanyard is? It's this plastic thing you wear around your neck so you can hang stuff from it.* The whole week, we never played pickleball. We never went rock climbing. We never had

我们在旗杆周围围成一个大圈集合。 这还不奇怪，因为我们每天早上都这么做。 最奇怪的是我们抬头看旗杆的时候。 你永远也不会相信那里有什么。 我不会告诉你的。好吧，好吧，我告诉你。 是我的内裤！“有人溜进我们的铺位，偷了我的内裤！”我叫道。 “一定是安德里亚！”“哦，”瑞恩说。 "安德里亚偷走了aj把他的内衣挂在旗杆上！他们一定是相爱了！”“你打算什么时候结婚？”迈克尔问。 在他们脱下我的内衣挂上国旗后，天开始下雨了。 当然!所以我们没去匹克球，而是去了艺术和屁，我们和南希阿姨一起做了挂绳。 你知道挂绳是什么吗？ 就是你戴在脖子上挂东西的那种塑料。整整一周，我们都没打匹克球。 我们从来没有去攀岩。 我们从来没有

archery. But we had plenty of mosquitoes, bees, ants, flies, mice, and spiders. One of the bunks had a bat fly into it. That must have been interesting. The most exciting part of the week was when the porta-potty man came with this cool truck to empty out the porta-potties. Now that's a tough job. When he was done, we all stood up and gave him a standing ovation. Finally, it was the last night of camp. We went out to the woods, and all the campers gathered in a big circle. The counselors made a bonfire in the middle, and we toasted marshmallows. Yum! Some guy came out with a guitar. He said his name was Uncle Howie, but we were supposed to call him "The Maestro." "Hey, campers!" he shouted. "Are you boys up for a sing-along?" "No!" "Here's a little song I made up," he said. "You sing it to the tune of 'Over There.'"

射箭。但是我们有很多蚊子、蜜蜂、蚂蚁、苍蝇、老鼠和蜘蛛。 一只蝙蝠飞进了其中一张铺位。 那一定很有趣。 这周最激动人心的部分就是那个送移动厕所的人开着这辆很酷的卡车来清空移动厕所。 这是一项艰巨的工作。他讲完后，我们都站起来，起立为他鼓掌。 最后，这是夏令营的最后一晚。 我们去了树林，所有的露营者都围成一个大圈。 辅导员们在中间生了一堆篝火，我们烤棉花糖。 Yum !有个人拿着吉他出来了。 他说他叫豪伊叔叔，但我们应该叫他“大师” “嘿，露营者们！”他喊道。 “你们准备好一起唱歌了吗？”“不!”“这是我编的一首小曲，”他说。 “你跟着《那边》（Over There）的调子唱。”

And then he started singing... Underwear! Underwear! Send a pair, send a pair, I can wear! For I left mine lying, on the line drying, I need them now but they're not there... That song was pretty cool, but after Andrea stole my underwear and put it up on the flagpole, I wasn't really in the mood to sing that song. After that, we all had to sing "This Land Is Your Land," "Ain't No Flies on Us," "I Like Bananas," "Do Your Ears Hang Low," "Home on the Range," "Little Bunny Foo Foo," "On Top of Spaghetti," "B-I-N-G-O," "I'm Being Swallowed by a Boa Constrictor," "The Ants Go Marching," "If You're Happy and You Know It," "The Wheels on the Bus," and a million hundred other boring songs. When the fire died down and all the marshmallows were gone, the counselors said we could go out in the field and look at the stars before going back to our bunks. We got down on the grass and looked up at the sky.

然后他开始唱歌…… 内衣!内衣!送一双，送一双，我能穿！因为我把我的留在那里，晾在绳子上，我现在需要它们，但它们不在那里…… 那首歌很酷，但自从安德里亚偷了我的内裤挂在旗杆上后，我就没心情唱那首歌了。 在那之后，我们都要唱《这片土地是你的土地》、《我们身上没有苍蝇》、《我喜欢香蕉》、《你的耳朵是不是耷拉着》、《家在山脉上》、《小兔子Foo Foo》、《在意大利面条上》、《我被蟒蛇吞了》、《蚂蚁在行军》、《如果你快乐你就知道》、《巴士上的轮子》，以及其他无数无聊的歌曲。 等火熄了，棉花糖也吃光了，辅导员们说，我们可以到野外去看看星星，然后再回到我们的铺位上去。 我们坐在草地上仰望天空。

"WOW," I said, which is "MOM" upside down. I had never seen so many stars at once. "This is awesome," Ryan said. "There are probably a billion of them up there." "A bazillion," I said. "Maybe we'll see a shooting star." "Where do you think it ends?" asked Neil. "Where does what end?" asked Michael. "The universe," Neil replied. "It seems like it must go on forever." "But it has to end somewhere," said Ryan. Candyman had been pretty quiet as we gazed up at the sky. "The sun is just another star," he told us. "In five billion years, it will run out of hydrogen and become a red giant hot enough to boil the oceans. The gravitational forces will pull all the gases to the center, and the sun will engulf Mercury, Venus, and Earth." It was quiet for a minute or two. "Wait," I said. "What?" "The sun is gonna fade out in a giant spinning cloud of gas and dust," said Candyman. "Then the universe will collapse into itself and the planet we call Earth will disintegrate."

“哇，”我说，这是“妈妈”的上下颠倒。 我从来没有同时看到过这么多的星星。 “这太棒了，”瑞恩说。 “那里可能有10亿人。” “数不胜数，”我说。“也许我们会看到一颗流星。” 尼尔问：“你认为它在哪里结束？” “什么到哪里才结束？”迈克尔问。 “宇宙，”尼尔回答。 “似乎它必须永远持续下去。” “但总有一天会结束的，”瑞恩说。 我们仰望天空的时候，糖果男一直很安静。 “太阳只是另一颗恒星，”他告诉我们。 “50亿年后，它将耗尽氢，变成一颗热到足以煮沸海洋的红巨星。 引力将把所有的气体拉向中心，太阳将吞没水星、金星和地球。” 安静了一两分钟。 “等等，”我说。“什么?”坎迪曼说：“太阳将在一个巨大的旋转气体和尘埃云中消失。” “然后宇宙将坍缩成自己，我们称之为地球的行星将解体。”