9 Every Week Is Crazy Week

Chapter 9 Every Week Is Crazy Week I thought that would be the end of Crazy Week. But something even crazier happened the next Monday. We were at recess swinging on the swings when you'll never guess in a million hundred years who showed up on the playground. No, it wasn't Mrs. Lizzy. I told you that you wouldn't be able to guess. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you. Just for that, I'm not gonna tell you who it was. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. It was Pootie the goat! There we were, minding our own business, when out of nowhere Pootie

wandered over! It was the most amazing thing in the history of the world! "Naaaaaaayyyyy," said Pootie the goat. "What's that goat doing here?" asked Ryan. "She must have escaped from Rent-A-Goat," I said. Pootie the goat was making weird noises.

"I think something's wrong with Pootie," Andrea said. "Maybe she's sick," said Emily. "Maybe she just needs to be milked," said Neil the nude kid. "Well, I'm not milking her," Andrea said. "I'm not milking her," said Ryan. "I'm not milking her," said Michael. Nobody wanted to milk Pootie the goat. "I say Arlo should milk her," said Andrea. "Why?" I asked. "I milked her last time." "That's exactly why you should milk her this time, Arlo," Andrea said. "You know how to milk a goat. We don't know what to do." "Milk the goat! Milk the goat!" everybody started chanting. I was faced with the hardest decision of my life. If I milked Pootie, everybody would

make fun of me for sure. And if I didn't milk Pootie, well, I was afraid that she might explode and there would be milky pieces of goat all over the place. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I had to think fast. I was concentrating so hard that my brain hurt. Finally, I decided that I would rather be made fun of than be covered by milky pieces of exploded goat. So I got down on my knees and did what Mrs. Lizzy told me to do. I thought I was gonna die. But Pootie calmed down as soon as I started milking her. "Naaaaaaayyyyy," said Pootie. "You're good at that, A.J.," said Neil. "When you grow up, you should milk goats for a living." "Oooooh!" Ryan said. "A.J. is milking

Pootie the goat. They must be in love!" "Hey A.J., when are you and Pootie gonna get married?" asked Michael. If those guys weren't my best friends, I would hate them. Well, that's pretty much what happened during Crazy Week at Ella Mentry School. I'm gonna miss Mrs. Lizzy. She may have been crazy, but she was cool. None of our

real teachers ever showed us how to do cool stuff like yodel or do fart noises with our armpits. And she made great balloon animals. My mom really liked her Mother's Day present. Mrs. Lizzy was right about one thing. You never know when you might have to milk a goat. Maybe the Board of Education will cancel the Recess Enrichment Program and just let us have fun again. Maybe we'll have another lockdown. Maybe Mrs. Lizzy will cut her hair and get earmuffs. Maybe Officer Spence will stop saying the word "duty." Maybe a zombie cannibal psycho who eats kids for breakfast will escape from the loony bin. Maybe Emily's mom will use a plate instead of eating breakfast in her pajamas. Maybe they'll let Mrs. Lizzy out of the loony bin so she can finish telling us about worm