7 Crazy-Shoes Day

Chapter 7 Crazy-Shoes Day Thursday was Crazy-Shoes Day. Neil the nude kid had on army boots. Emily wore her mother's bunny slippers. I put two old shoe boxes on my feet. Everybody came to school with crazy shoes. During recess Mrs. Lizzy came to the playground again. She had tennis rackets strapped to her feet.

星期四是“疯狂鞋日”。 裸体小孩尼尔穿着军靴。 艾米丽穿着她妈妈的兔子拖鞋。 我把两个旧鞋盒放在脚上。 每个人来学校的时候都穿着疯狂的鞋子。 课间休息时，丽萃太太又来到操场。 她脚上绑着网球拍。

"Did you wear those for Crazy-Shoes Day?" we asked her. "No," Mrs. Lizzy said. "On Thursdays I always wear tennis rackets on my feet." Mrs. Lizzy is dizzy! "What are you gonna teach us today?" asked Ryan. "Today I'm going to teach you how to make fart noises with your armpits," Mrs. Lizzy announced. What?! This lady was cool! I already knew how to make fart noises with my armpits. All boys know how to do that. But Mrs. Lizzy was really good at it. She could even change notes! She played "Mary Had a Little Lamb" on her armpits. It was amazing. You should have been there!

我们问她：“你在疯狂鞋日穿的吗？” “不，”丽萃太太说。“每周四我都会在脚上穿网球拍。” 丽萃太太头晕！“今天你要教我们什么？”瑞恩问。 “今天我要教你怎么用腋窝发出放屁的声音，”丽萃太太宣布。 什么? !这位女士很酷！我已经知道怎么用腋窝发出放屁的声音了。 所有男孩都知道怎么做。 但是丽萃太太做得很好。 她甚至可以换纸币！她在腋窝上弹奏“玛丽有一只小羊羔”。 太神奇了。你应该去的！

The girls were not impressed with Mrs. Lizzy's musical-armpit ability. "That's gross!" Emily said. "Why would anyone ever need to know how to do that?" asked Andrea. "Well, what if you were locked in a room," Mrs. Lizzy asked Andrea, "and you were tied to a chair. And you couldn't

姑娘们对丽萃太太的音乐天赋不以为然。 “恶心!”艾米丽说。 “为什么会有人需要知道怎么做呢？”安德烈问。 “嗯，如果你被锁在一个房间里，”丽萃太太问安德烈，“你被绑在椅子上呢？ 你不能

escape no matter how hard you tried. If you could make a fart noise with your armpits, somebody might hear it and send help." "Couldn't I just yell and scream to get help?" Andrea asked. "Not if they tied a rag over your mouth," said Mrs. Lizzy. "That's why it's so important for kids to learn how to make fart noises with their armpits." "I still say it's gross," Emily said. "We're not doing that," said Andrea. "I just hope you never get locked in a room and tied to a chair with a rag over your mouth," Mrs. Lizzy told the girls. Mrs. Lizzy taught the guys and me how to play "Yankee Doodle Dandy" on our armpits. For some of the notes she used the backs of her knees. It was cool. Then Mrs. Lizzy said she had to go but told us to keep practicing our armpit farts if we wanted to

无论你多么努力，都要逃避。 如果你能用腋窝发出放屁的声音，有人可能会听到，然后派人来帮忙。” “我就不能大喊大叫叫人来帮忙吗？”安德里亚问道。 “要是他们在你嘴上绑块破布就不会了，”丽萃太太说。 “这就是为什么孩子们学习如何用腋窝发出放屁的声音是如此重要。” “我还是觉得很恶心，”艾米丽说。 “我们不会那样做的，”安德烈说。 “我只希望你们永远不要被锁在房间里，用抹布蒙住嘴巴，绑在椅子上，”丽萃太太对姑娘们说。 丽兹太太教我们怎么在腋窝上弹《扬基歌》。 有些音符是她用膝盖背唱的。 很酷。然后丽兹太太说她得走了，但告诉我们，如果我们愿意，可以继续练习腋窝放屁

get really good at it. "We will!" we promised. We started practicing right away. Emily and Andrea said it was gross. They went off to go play on the slide. That's when I got the greatest idea in the history of the world. "Hey, any time you want girls to go away," I told the guys, "all you have to do is make armpit farts!"

要做得很好。“我们会的！”我们保证。 我们马上开始练习。 艾米丽和安德里亚说很恶心。 他们去玩滑梯了。 就在那时，我想到了世界历史上最伟大的主意。 “嘿，任何时候你想让女生走开，”我对男生们说，“你只要在腋窝处放个屁就行了！”

"You're right!" Ryan said. "As soon as we started making armpit farts, they left!" "A.J., you're a genius!" Michael told me. "No wonder you're in the gifted and talented program," said Neil the nude kid. I should get the No Bell Prize for figuring out how to get rid of annoying girls. That's a prize they give to people who don't have bells.

“你是对的!”瑞恩说。 “我们一开始放腋窝屁，他们就走了！”“aj，你真是个天才！”迈克尔告诉我的。 “难怪你在天才班，”裸体孩子尼尔说。 我应该拿无贝尔奖因为我想出了摆脱讨厌女孩的办法。 那是他们给没有铃铛的人的奖励。