5 Crazy-Clothes Day

Chapter 5 Crazy-Clothes Day Tuesday was Crazy-Clothes Day. I wore my dad's pinstriped shirt, a red bow tie, soccer shorts, mittens, and knee pads. Knee pads are cool because you can flop down on your knees and it doesn't hurt. "A.J.," Ryan said when he saw me come into our classroom, "those are the craziest clothes I ever saw."

星期二是疯狂服装日。 我穿着爸爸的细条纹衬衫，打着红色领结，穿着足球短裤，戴着连指手套和护膝。 护膝很酷，因为你可以跪下来，而且不疼。 “a.j.，”瑞安看到我走进教室后说，“这是我见过的最疯狂的衣服。”

Like he should talk! Ryan was wearing his sister's dress, his mom's fur coat, and a pair of 2009 glasses that had the 00 go over his eyes and the 2 and the 9 on either side of his head. Everybody was wearing crazy clothes. At recess, guess who showed up at the playground again? Mrs. Lizzy, of course. She was wearing a black plastic trash bag with holes cut out for her arms and legs. And she was carrying a bucket. "Hi kids!" she said when she saw us. "Hi Mrs. Lizzy!" we all yelled. "Did you dress like that because it's Crazy-Clothes Day?" asked Andrea. "No," she replied, "I always dress like this on Tuesdays."

好像他应该说似的！瑞安穿着他姐姐的裙子，他妈妈的皮大衣，戴着一副2009年的眼镜，眼睛上的数字是00，头两边的数字是2和9。 每个人都穿着疯狂的衣服。 课间休息时，猜猜谁又出现在操场上了？ 当然是丽萃太太了。她穿着一个黑色的塑料垃圾袋，上面为她的胳膊和腿挖了几个洞。 她提着一个桶。 “嗨，孩子们！”她看到我们时说。 “嗨，丽萃太太！” “你穿成那样是因为今天是疯狂服装日吗？”安德里亚问。 “不，”她回答说，“我总是在星期二穿成这样。”

That was weird. But if you think that was weird, you'll never believe in a million hundred years what Mrs. Lizzy brought with her to the playground. I'm not gonna tell you. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. It was a goat! She had a goat with her! And it was on a leash! "Where did you get that goat, Mrs. Lizzy?" asked Michael. "From Rent-A-Goat," she told us. "You can rent anything. This is my friend Pootie. Goats are my favorite animals. Do you kids have pets at home?" "I have a ferret named Wiggles," said Neil the nude kid. (Last year on Presidents' Day, Neil brought Wiggles to school. Wiggles escaped from his cage, got lost, climbed onto Emily's

这很奇怪。但如果你觉得这很奇怪，你绝对不会相信丽兹太太带了什么来操场。 我不会告诉你的。好吧，好吧，我告诉你。 那是一只山羊！她带了一只山羊！它还拴着皮带！“丽萃太太，你从哪儿弄来的那只山羊？”迈克尔问。 “从山羊租来的，”她告诉我们。 “你可以租任何东西。这是我的朋友Pootie。 山羊是我最喜欢的动物。 你们家里有宠物吗？”“我有一只叫威格斯的雪貂，”裸体小孩尼尔说。 (去年的总统日，尼尔把威格斯带到了学校。 威格斯从笼子里逃了出来，走丢了，爬上了艾米丽的笼子

head, and was elected president of the school. That was weird.) "I have a dog and some fish," I said. "It's my job to feed the fish. But one time a fish jumped out of the tank and my dog ate it. That night my mom asked me if I fed the fish and I told her that I fed the fish to the dog. I wasn't too upset when my dog ate my fish, because at least my fish didn't eat my dog. That would have been weird." Everybody laughed even though I didn't say anything funny. "Well, today for recess enrichment we're going to learn another important life skill," Mrs. Lizzie told us. "I'm going to teach you how to milk Pootie the goat." What?! "Naaaaaaayyyyy," said Pootie. "Milk comes out of goats?" I asked. "I thought milk came out of cows."

校长，并被选为学校的校长。 这很奇怪。)“我有一条狗和一些鱼，”我说。 “喂鱼是我的工作。 但是有一次一条鱼从鱼缸里跳出来，我的狗把它吃了。 那天晚上我妈妈问我有没有喂鱼，我告诉她我把鱼喂狗了。 当我的狗吃了我的鱼时，我并没有太难过，因为至少我的鱼没有吃我的狗。 那会很奇怪。” 大家都笑了，尽管我没说什么好笑的话。 “嗯，今天的课间充实，我们要学习另一项重要的生活技能，”丽齐老师告诉我们。 “我要教你怎么给山羊Pootie挤奶。” 什么? !“不——不——不——”Pootie说。 “羊奶是产的吗？”我问。 “我以为牛奶是从牛身上出来的。”

"It comes out of goats, too, Arlo," said Andrea. Little Miss Know-It-All was proud of herself because she knew something I didn't know. I hate her. "See, we learned something already," said Mrs. Lizzy. "Goats give milk." "I have a question," said Andrea. "Yes?" "Is it really important for us to learn how to milk a goat?" Andrea asked. "I thought the Recess Enrichment Program was for us to learn how to do useful things, like use a camera, play musical instruments, or do arts and crafts projects." "That's an excellent question, Andrea," said Mrs. Lizzy. "But what if you were playing in the playground one day and a goat wandered over? And what if the goat needed to be milked? And what if you had never learned how to milk a goat? That

“山羊也有，阿乐。”安德烈说。 小万事通小姐为自己感到骄傲，因为她知道一些我不知道的事情。 我恨她。“你看，我们已经学到了一些东西，”丽萃太太说。 “山羊产奶。”“我有一个问题，”安德烈说。 “是吗?”“学习如何给山羊挤奶对我们来说真的很重要吗？”安德里亚问道。 “我认为课间充实计划是让我们学习如何做有用的事情，比如使用相机，演奏乐器，或者做艺术和手工艺项目。” “这个问题问得好，安德烈，”丽萃太太说。 “但如果有一天你在操场上玩，一只山羊从你身边走过怎么办？” 如果山羊需要挤奶怎么办？ 如果你从未学过如何挤羊奶呢？ 那