3 Miss Laney Is Weird

Chapter 3 Miss Laney Is Weird In the middle of the girls' bathroom was a lady with dark hair. She was sitting behind a desk—Mr. Granite's desk. "Come on in!" the lady said excitedly. She sounded like one of those game show hosts on TV. "Who are you?" asked Andrea.

"I'm Miss Laney, the new speech teacher," the lady said. "I'm soooooo glad you could join me today!"

Miss Laney is way too enthusiastic about stuff. I always wondered what was in the girls' bathroom. I looked around. There were three stalls against the wall but no urinals. On the walls were a bunch of posters with pictures of TV stars. Girls' bathrooms are weird. "Why is your office in the bathroom?" asked Emily. "Because of budget cuts, they couldn't afford to give me a regular office," Miss Laney told us. "But a bathroom is perfect for speech class. This room has really good acoustics." "I don't see any good cue sticks," I said. "My uncle has a pool table in his basement, and he's got some really good cue sticks." "Not 'cue sticks,' dumbhead!" Andrea said, rolling her eyes. "'Acoustics'!"

It sounded a lot like "a cue stick" to me. "Do you know what the word 'acoustics' means?" Miss Laney asked. "Yes!" Andrea said, "acoustics is the science of sound." "Very good, Andrea!" Miss Laney said, all smiley. Little Miss Brownnoser knows about dumb stuff like acoustics because she reads the encyclopedia for the fun of it. What is her problem? "Wait a minute," Emily said. "If this is the speech room now, where should we go to the bathroom?" "In your pants!" I said. Ryan cracked up. "Starting today," Miss Laney told us, "the girls go to the bathroom in the boys' bathroom." What?! "If the girls go to the bathroom in the

boys' bathroom, where will the boys go to the bathroom?" Ryan asked. "Out there," Miss Laney said. I looked out the window. There was a tree outside. "We have to use a tree?" I asked. "There's a porta-potty near the tree," Miss Laney said. I stood on my tiptoes at the window and saw the porta-potty.

"I'd rather use the tree," I said. "Yeah, can we use the tree?" asked Ryan. "That could kill the tree, Arlo," Andrea said. "Your face could kill a tree," I told Andrea. "There must be some mistake, Miss Laney," Emily said. "We don't need speech class."