1 Bad News

Miss Laney Is Zany!

兰尼小姐很滑稽！

Chapter 1 Bad News My name is A.J. and I hate school. But I have to go anyway. My friend Billy who lives around the corner told me that if you don't go to school, they throw you in jail. Then you have to wear one of those striped uniforms and drag around a ball and chain. I go to Ella Mentry School, and my teacher is Mr. Granite, who is from another planet. It was Monday morning, and the girls were talking about silly girl stuff, like how many stuffed animals they have on their beds. Me and the guys were talking about important guy stuff, like my favorite TV show—Win Money or Eat Bugs. It's a cool show. You have to answer a bunch of questions. If you get them right,

第一章坏消息我叫A.J. 我讨厌学校。但我还是得走了。 我住在街角的朋友比利告诉我，如果你不去上学，他们就会把你关进监狱。 然后你就得穿那种条纹制服拖着铁链球走。 我在艾拉门特里学校上学，我的老师是花岗岩先生，他来自另一个星球。 那是周一的早上，女孩们在谈论女孩子们的无聊事情，比如她们床上有多少毛绒玩具。 我和伙计们在谈论重要的男人的事情，比如我最喜欢的电视节目——赢钱还是吃虫子。 这是一个很酷的节目。你得回答一堆问题。 如果你做对了，

you win money. If you get them wrong, you have to eat bugs. So Win Money or Eat Bugs has the perfect name. Some people win money. But most people have to eat bugs. That show is hilarious. After we put our backpacks into our cubbies, the school secretary, Mrs. Patty, made an announcement over the loudspeaker. We had to go to the all-purpose room for a surprise assembly. "Why are we having an assembly?" asked Andrea Young, this annoying girl in my class with curly brown hair. "Beats me," said her crybaby friend Emily. Everybody was in the all-purpose room. Miss Lazar, the custodian. Ms. LaGrange, the lunch lady. Even Mr. Tony, who runs the after-school program, was there. I could tell it wasn't a normal assembly. We were all

你赢了钱。如果你做错了，你就得吃虫子。 所以“赢钱还是吃虫子”有一个完美的名字。 有些人赢了钱。但是大多数人不得不吃虫子。 那个节目很搞笑。我们把书包放进小书包后，学校秘书帕蒂夫人通过扩音器宣布了一件事。 我们不得不去多功能室进行突击集会。 “我们为什么要开集会？”安德里亚·杨（Andrea Young）问，她是我班上一个令人讨厌的棕色卷发女孩。 “难倒我了，”她爱哭的朋友艾米丽说。 所有人都在多功能室。 拉扎尔小姐，看门人。 拉格朗日女士，送午餐的女士。 就连负责课后项目的托尼先生也在场。 我能看出来这不是正常的组装。 我们都是

buzzing about what was up.* We had to sit crisscross applesauce. Finally our principal, Mr. Klutz, got up on the stage. He has no hair at all. I mean none. They should use his head to bounce laser beams around the world. Mr. Klutz held up his hand and made a peace sign, which means "shut up." "I have bad news," Mr. Klutz said. "Mr. Klutz has a bad nose," I whispered to my friend Michael, who never ties his shoes. "As you probably heard from your parents," Mr. Klutz told us, "the economy is in bad shape. We have been trying to save money ever since our budget was cut. But last night I got a call from the Board of Education. I'm sorry to tell you this, but… Ella Mentry School will be closing in June." Everybody laughed. Mr. Klutz is so

谈论发生了什么事。*我们不得不坐在交叉的苹果酱。 最后，我们的校长克鲁茨先生站到了台上。 他根本没有头发。我是说没有。 他们应该用他的头在世界各地发射激光束。 克鲁茨举起手，做了一个和平手势，意思是“闭嘴”。 “我有坏消息，”克鲁茨说。 “克鲁茨先生的鼻子不好，”我低声对从不系鞋带的朋友迈克尔说。 “正如你可能从父母那里听到的那样，”克鲁茨告诉我们，“经济状况很糟糕。 自从预算被削减后，我们一直在设法省钱。 但昨晚我接到了教育委员会的电话。 我很抱歉地告诉你，但是……艾拉门特瑞学校将于6月关闭。” 每个人都笑了。克鲁茨先生就是这样

funny! "It's not a joke," he added. Suddenly, it was quiet in the all-purpose room. You could hear a pin drop.* "Do you mean the school will close for a few weeks?" asked Mr. Granite. "No," Mr. Klutz replied. "The school is closing forever." "Forever?" "Forever." I looked at Michael. Michael looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes. Then we all jumped out of our seats at the same time. "Yeah!" me and the guys shouted. "No more school!" "You'll still have to go to school," Mr. Klutz told us. "You'll just have to go to another school. A school that's farther

有趣!“这不是开玩笑，”他补充说。 突然间，这个多功能房间安静了下来。 你可以听到一根针掉在地上的声音。“你是说学校要停课几个星期吗？”格拉尼特先生问。 “没有，”克鲁茨回答。“学校要永远关闭了。” “永远?”“永远”。我看着迈克尔。 迈克尔看着瑞恩。瑞安看着尼尔，我们管他叫裸体小孩，尽管他穿着衣服。 然后我们都同时从座位上跳了起来。 “耶！”我和同伴们喊道。 “不用再上学了！”“你们还是得去上学，”克鲁茨先生告诉我们。 “你只能去另一所学校了。 一所更远的学校

away." Oh. Bummer in the summer! "Will the teachers be fired?" asked Mr. Granite. "I'm afraid so," Mr. Klutz said. "The whole staff will lose their jobs. And that includes me. We're all in the same boat." I looked around. I didn't see a boat anywhere. "What do boats have to do with it?" I asked. "That means we're all in this together, Arlo," whispered Andrea. She calls me by my real name because she knows I don't like it. "There will be more budget cuts between now and June," Mr. Klutz said. "So we'll all have to tighten our belts. Does anybody have any questions?" "What if you don't wear a belt?" I asked.

扔掉。”哦。夏天的流浪者！“老师们会被解雇吗？”格拉尼特先生问。 “恐怕是这样，”克鲁茨说。 “所有员工都会失业。 这也包括我。我们都在同一条船上。” 我环顾四周。我哪儿都没看到船。 “这和船有什么关系？”我问。 “这意味着我们都是一条船上的，阿乐。”安德烈低声说。 她叫我的真名，因为她知道我不喜欢这样。 “从现在到6月，还会有更多的预算削减，”克鲁茨说。 “所以我们都得勒紧裤腰带了。 有人有什么问题吗？”“如果你不系腰带呢？”我问。