4 Dr. Brad Is Weird

Chapter 4 Dr. Brad Is Weird Dr. Brad gave me a little push into Room 104. There were signs on the walls: RESPECT OTHERS. BE CONSIDERATE. EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS. There were a lot of bookshelves, too, some weird-looking machines, and a couch. That's what you lie on when they remove your brain. Actually, I had been in this room before. One time our security guard, Officer Spence, went crazy and used Dr. Brad's lie detector machine to see if I stole my own peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That was weird. Officer Spence makes no sense. "Lie down on zee couch, A.J.," Dr. Brad told me. "Are you gonna take out my brain and give me a monkey brain?" I asked.

"No, no, no," Dr. Brad said. "I just vant you to look at zeez pictures and tell me vut you see." I lay on the couch, but I was ready to jump up and run away in case he tried to cut open my skull. Dr. Brad held a piece of white cardboard in front of me. It looked like somebody spilled ink on it. "Vut do you see here, A.J.?" "It looks like somebody spilled some ink on that cardboard," I replied. "Ees zat all?" Dr. Brad asked. "Don't you see a giant spider who ees jumping on a pogo stick inside a volcano?" "Uh, no," I said, looking at the card more closely. Dr. Brad didn't look happy. He took out another card with a different ink blot on it and put it in front of my face.

"And vut do you see here?" "Looks like another ink blot," I told him. "Look very closely," Dr. Brad said. "Don't you see a hot dog chasing donuts through a tunnel? Or a big piece of cheese playing Scrabble with two unicorns? Or a man in a red coat eating pistachio nuts in a swimming pool?" Dr. Brad was getting all excited. His eyebrows were jumping up and down. I looked at the card again. "Nope," I said. "Looks like an ink blot to me." "Hmmm, interesting," Dr. Brad said as he shook his head and took out another card. "How about zis vun?" "I guess maybe it looks a little like a cloud," I said, trying to be helpful. "Don't you see zee umbrella being crushed by zuh hippopotamus? Zee bicycle

in zuh sky vis no rider on it? Zee train zat ees being svallowed up by zuh giant boa constrictor?" "Nope," I said, "I don't see any of those things." "How can you not see zat?!" Dr. Brad yelled, waving his arms around. "Eet ees so obvious! Are you blind? Eet ees right zare! Can't you see zee big snake? Vy can't you see zat?" "I don't know!" I said. "I just don't see

it!" Dr. Brad ripped the last picture into a bunch of little pieces. "Go back to your class, A.J.," Dr. Brad said. "I vill have to do furzer tests." I made a dash for the door before he had the chance to change his mind and give me a monkey brain. As I ran down the hall, I could still hear him saying "Hmmmm, interesting" over and over again.