3 Dork School

Chapter 3 Dork School Dr. Brad looks like one of those mad scientists in the movies who straps people to a dentist chair and removes their brain. He's an old guy who wears a bow tie, suspenders, and those weird glasses that only cover one eye. What's up with that? And he has crazy hair, like he put his finger into a lightbulb socket. Somebody should get that guy a comb for his birthday. He is scary looking. Dr. Brad isn't like a camp counselor. Camp counselors play games, sing songs, and take you on hikes. Dr. Brad is the kind of counselor who just talks to you, which is no fun at all. Talking is boring, especially when you're talking to grown-ups.

布拉德博士看起来就像电影里那些把人绑在牙医椅上，然后取走他们大脑的疯狂科学家。 他是个老家伙，打着领结，穿着背带裤，戴着只遮住一只眼睛的奇怪眼镜。 这是怎么回事？他的头发很疯狂，就像他把手指伸进灯泡插座里一样。 有人应该送他一把梳子作为生日礼物。 他看起来很吓人。布拉德医生不像夏令营辅导员。 营地辅导员玩游戏，唱歌，带你去远足。 布拉德医生是那种只会跟你说话的咨询师，这一点都不好玩。 说话很无聊，尤其是和成年人说话。

Counselors are for kids who are different. Like kids who are smarter or dumber than everybody else. Or kids who learn faster or slower than everybody else. Or kids who have problems. Or kids who don't have problems. Or kids who are left-handed or color-blind. In other words, counselors are for everybody.

辅导员是为与众不同的孩子准备的。 比如比别人聪明或笨的孩子。 或者那些比别人学得快或慢的孩子。 或者有问题的孩子。 或者是没有问题的孩子。 或者是左撇子或色盲的孩子。 换句话说，咨询师是为所有人服务的。

"So zees is zee young genius I heard about," Dr. Brad said. He talks funny.* Dr. Brad took out a magnifying glass and looked in my eyes. Then he looked in my ears. Then he looked in my mouth. Then he looked up my nose. "You can tell if somebody is a genius by looking at their boogers?" I asked. "That's amazing!" "Aha-ha-ha-ha," laughed Dr. Brad. "Most amusing." "What if I am a genius?" I asked. "Would that mean I wouldn't have to go to school anymore because I already know everything?"

“这就是我听说过的那个年轻天才。” 布莱德说。他说话很有趣。*博士。 布拉德拿出放大镜，看着我的眼睛。 然后他看着我的耳朵。 然后他看了看我的嘴。 然后他看了看我的鼻子。 “你可以通过看一个人的鼻屎来判断他是不是天才？”我问。 “这太神奇了!”“啊哈——啊哈——啊哈。” 布莱德。“最有趣。”“如果我是个天才呢？”我问。 “那是不是意味着我不用再上学了，因为我已经什么都知道了？”

"No, no, no!" Dr. Brad said. "Zat vould mean vee vould zend you to a special school for genius kids." "Did you ever hear of Dirk School, A.J.?" asked Ms. Coco. Dirk School?! Of course I heard of Dirk School. Everybody in our town knows about Dirk School. We call it Dork School. It's filled with genius dorks. "We're afraid that we might be holding

“不，不，不！”布拉德博士说。 “那就意味着我们要送你去一所专为天才儿童开设的特殊学校。” “你听说过德克学校吗，A.J.?” 椰子树。德克学校? !我当然听说过德克学校。 我们镇上的每个人都知道德克学校。 我们叫它笨蛋学校。里面都是天才呆子。 “我们担心我们可能会坚持下去

you back here at Ella Mentry School," Mr. Klutz told me. "You always say school is boring." "A.J., you're like a young flower," Ms. Coco said. "If you went to Dirk, they would water you and give you sunshine to help you grow and bloom." "I don't want to be a flower!" I yelled. "I don't want to get watered! I want to stay here with my friends! Dork School is filled with dorks! I promise I won't say school is boring anymore. Please don't send me to Dork! Please? Please? Please?"*

你回到艾拉门特里学校，”克鲁茨先生告诉我。 “你总是说学校很无聊。” “aj，你就像一朵小花。” 可可说。“如果你去德克，他们会给你浇水，给你阳光，帮助你成长和开花。” “我不想成为一朵花！”我喊道。 “我不想喝水！”我想和我的朋友们呆在这里！呆子学校里全是呆子！我保证我再也不会说学校很无聊了。 请不要把我送到达克！好吗? 好吗?好吗?“*

"Calm down, A.J.," said Ms. Coco. "Dr. Brad just wants to run a few tests." I didn't want to go to Dork School. I decided that nobody would ever think I was a genius. I wouldn't let them. "I vant to ask a few qvestions, A.J.," Dr. Brad said. "Vut is two plus two?" "Five," I lied. "Hmmmmmmm," said Dr. Brad. Grown-ups always say "hmmmmmmm" when they're thinking. Nobody knows why. "How vould you spell zee verd 'cat'?" asked Dr. Brad. "D-O-G," I lied. "Hmmmmmmm," said Dr. Brad. "Who vas zee first president of zuh United States?" "A penguin named Binky," I lied. "Hmmmmmmm," said Dr. Brad. "What do you think, Doctor?" asked Mr. Klutz.

“冷静点，a.j.。” 椰子树。“布拉德医生只是想给你做些检查。” 我不想去笨蛋学校。 我决定没人会认为我是个天才。 我不会让他们这么做的。“我想问几个问题，aj。” 布莱德说。“二加二等于几？”“五个，”我撒了个谎。 “嗯，嗯，”布拉德医生说。 大人们在思考的时候总是说“嗯嗯嗯”。 没人知道为什么。“你怎么拼写‘猫’这个单词？” 布莱德。“D-O-G，”我撒谎道。“嗯……” 布莱德。“谁是美国的第一任总统？”“一只叫Binky的企鹅。”我撒了个谎。 “嗯，嗯，”布拉德医生说。 “你觉得怎么样，医生？”克鲁茨先生问。