1 Little Miss Perfect

Dr. Brad Has Gone Mad!

布拉德医生疯了！

Chapter 1 Little Miss Perfect My name is A.J. and I hate school. It was Monday morning. I had just walked into Mr. Granite's third-grade class. Everybody was putting stuff into their cubbies. My friends Ryan and Michael were talking about a football game they watched over the weekend. Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair, was talking with her friend Emily about jewelry. "Do you like my new necklace?" Andrea asked Emily. "It says 'LOVE' on the back." "It's really shiny," Emily said, "and it goes so nicely with your skirt." "I love to accessorize!" Andrea said. Ugh. Girls are so annoying. I didn't even know what "accessorize" meant, but it was

第一章完美小姐我叫A.J. 我讨厌学校。那是星期一的早晨。 我刚刚走进格拉尼特先生的三年级班级。 每个人都在往自己的小柜子里放东西。 我的朋友瑞恩和迈克尔正在谈论他们周末看的一场足球比赛。 安德里亚·杨，这个令人讨厌的棕色卷发女孩，正在和她的朋友艾米丽谈论珠宝。 “你喜欢我的新项链吗？”安德里亚问艾米丽。 “背面写着‘LOVE’。” “它真的很闪亮，”艾米丽说，“和你的裙子很搭。” “我喜欢装饰！”安德里亚说。 啊。女孩子真烦人。 我都不知道“配饰”是什么意思，但确实是

obviously some girly thing that girls do. "G'day, mates!" said Mr. Granite. "Take out your reading log." Reading log? I don't have a reading log. Who wants to read a log? How would you write on a log, anyway? I guess you'd have to carve into it with a knife. But how would I carry a log to school? My backpack is heavy enough without having to put a log in there.

很明显，这是女孩子们会做的事。 “你们好，伙计们！”格拉尼特先生说。 “拿出你的阅读日志。” 读日志吗?我没有阅读日志。 谁想看日志？你怎么在木头上写字呢？ 我猜你得用刀在上面刻。 但是我怎么把原木搬到学校去呢？ 我的背包很重，不用放木头进去。

"I don't have a—" I started to say. "He means your notebook, dumbhead," Andrea whispered to me, rolling her eyes. "I knew that," I lied. The Human Homework Machine thinks she is sooooooo smart. Me and the guys call

“我没有——”我想说。 “他说的是你的笔记本，笨蛋，”安德里亚小声对我说，翻白眼。 “我知道。”我撒了个谎。人类家庭作业机器认为她非常非常聪明。 我和其他人打电话来

her Little Miss Perfect. For fun, Andrea reads the dictionary. What is her problem? Why can't a reading log fall on her head? Actually, I didn't have to take out my reading log after all. Because at that moment, the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. There was a knock on the door. Well, that's not the amazing part, because doors get knocked on all the time. The amazing part was what happened next. "A.J.," Mr. Granite said, "will you please answer the door?" "How can I answer the door?" I asked. "Doors don't talk." "I'll do it," said Andrea, rolling her eyes again. Little Miss Perfect opened the door. The school secretary, Mrs. Patty, was standing

她的小完美小姐。为了好玩，安德里亚读字典。 她有什么问题？为什么阅读日志不能掉在她头上？ 事实上，我根本不需要拿出我的阅读日志。 因为在那一刻，世界历史上最神奇的事情发生了。 有人敲门。 这还不是最神奇的部分，因为总是有人敲门。 令人惊奇的是接下来发生的事情。 “a.j.，”格拉尼特先生说，“你能去开门吗？”“我怎么去开门？”我问。 “门不会说话。”“我来吧，”安德烈说，又转了转眼珠。 完美小姐打开了门。 学校秘书帕蒂夫人站着

there. "Mr. Granite," she said, "will you please send A.J. to Mr. Klutz's office?" "Oooooooooooooooooooooh!" everybody oooooohed. "A.J.'s in trouble!" said Michael, who never ties his shoes. "What did you do this time, A.J.?" asked Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn't food. "Did you rob a bank?" asked Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes.

在那里。“格拉尼特先生，”她说，“请你派A.J.来好吗 去克鲁茨先生的办公室？”“呜——呜——呜——呜！”每个人都发出呜——呜的声音。 “A.J.“我有麻烦了！”从不系鞋带的迈克尔说。 “你这次做了什么，A.J.?”瑞安问，他什么都吃，甚至不是食物的东西。 “你抢银行了吗？”尼尔问，我们管他叫裸体小孩，尽管他穿着衣服。