1 Little Miss Perfect

Dr. Brad Has Gone Mad!

Chapter 1 Little Miss Perfect My name is A.J. and I hate school. It was Monday morning. I had just walked into Mr. Granite's third-grade class. Everybody was putting stuff into their cubbies. My friends Ryan and Michael were talking about a football game they watched over the weekend. Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair, was talking with her friend Emily about jewelry. "Do you like my new necklace?" Andrea asked Emily. "It says 'LOVE' on the back." "It's really shiny," Emily said, "and it goes so nicely with your skirt." "I love to accessorize!" Andrea said. Ugh. Girls are so annoying. I didn't even know what "accessorize" meant, but it was

obviously some girly thing that girls do. "G'day, mates!" said Mr. Granite. "Take out your reading log." Reading log? I don't have a reading log. Who wants to read a log? How would you write on a log, anyway? I guess you'd have to carve into it with a knife. But how would I carry a log to school? My backpack is heavy enough without having to put a log in there.

"I don't have a—" I started to say. "He means your notebook, dumbhead," Andrea whispered to me, rolling her eyes. "I knew that," I lied. The Human Homework Machine thinks she is sooooooo smart. Me and the guys call

her Little Miss Perfect. For fun, Andrea reads the dictionary. What is her problem? Why can't a reading log fall on her head? Actually, I didn't have to take out my reading log after all. Because at that moment, the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. There was a knock on the door. Well, that's not the amazing part, because doors get knocked on all the time. The amazing part was what happened next. "A.J.," Mr. Granite said, "will you please answer the door?" "How can I answer the door?" I asked. "Doors don't talk." "I'll do it," said Andrea, rolling her eyes again. Little Miss Perfect opened the door. The school secretary, Mrs. Patty, was standing

there. "Mr. Granite," she said, "will you please send A.J. to Mr. Klutz's office?" "Oooooooooooooooooooooh!" everybody oooooohed. "A.J.'s in trouble!" said Michael, who never ties his shoes. "What did you do this time, A.J.?" asked Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn't food. "Did you rob a bank?" asked Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes.