4 The New Fizz Ed Teacher

Chapter 4 The New Fizz Ed Teacher The bell rang, and everybody rushed to their classrooms. We pledged the allegiance with Mr. Granite. Then our computer teacher, Mrs. Yonkers, came into the classroom. "I have bad news," Mrs. Yonkers told us. "There's no computer class this week." "Why not?" asked Emily. "I love computer class!" She looked as if she was gonna cry, like always. "As you know, this is Civil War Week," Mrs. Yonkers told us, "and kids didn't have computers during the Civil War." "They didn't?" Ryan said. "How could they get on the internet?" "There was no internet," Mrs. Yonkers

第四章新来的Fizz教育老师上课铃响了，每个人都冲进教室。 我们宣誓效忠格拉尼特先生。 然后我们的计算机老师，扬克斯夫人，走进了教室。 “我有个坏消息，”扬克斯太太告诉我们。 “这周没有电脑课。” “为什么不呢？”爱米丽问。“我喜欢电脑课！”她看起来好像要哭了，像往常一样。 “你们知道，这是内战周，”扬克斯太太告诉我们，“内战期间孩子们没有电脑。” “他们没有?”瑞恩说。“他们怎么能上网呢？”“没有互联网，”扬克斯太太说

said. "WHAT?!" "No internet?" I said. "No YouTube?" Sometimes me and my friends go on YouTube and search for "people falling down" or "hamsters playing the piano." I could watch that stuff for hours. "What a horrible world it must have

说。“什么? !”“没有互联网吗?”我说。 “没有YouTube ?”有时我和我的朋友们会在YouTube上搜索“摔倒的人”或“弹钢琴的仓鼠”。 我可以一连看几个小时。 “这个世界一定很可怕

been without computers," Ryan said. Mrs. Yonkers told us that during the Civil War there were no calculators, no DVD players, no iPods, no airplanes, no cars, no lightbulbs, and no video games. "Did they have cell phones?" asked Neil the nude kid. "Cell phones?" Mrs. Yonkers said. "They didn't even have regular phones!" "How about big-screen TVs?" asked Michael. "Big-screen TVs?" Mrs. Yonkers said. "They didn't even have small-screen TVs!" "WHAT?!" We were all amazed. "No TVs?" I said. "Those poor kids! How did they survive?" "Back in Civil War days," Mrs. Yonkers told us, "kids would actually go outside and play." "Play? Outside?" Ryan asked. "Why

没有电脑，”瑞恩说。 扬克斯太太告诉我们，在南北战争期间，没有计算器，没有DVD播放机，没有ipod，没有飞机，没有汽车，没有灯泡，也没有电子游戏。 “他们有手机吗？”裸体小孩尼尔问。 “手机?”扬克斯太太说。 “他们甚至没有普通的电话！”“大屏幕电视怎么样？”迈克尔问。 “大屏幕电视?”扬克斯太太说。 “他们甚至没有小屏幕电视！”“什么? !”我们都很惊讶。 “没有电视吗?”我说。“那些可怜的孩子！”他们是怎么活下来的？”“在南北战争时期，”扬克斯太太告诉我们，“孩子们真的会到外面去玩。” “玩?外面?”瑞恩问道。 “为什么

would anybody want to do a crazy thing like that?" "That reminds me," Mr. Granite suddenly said. "We have to go. It's time for fizz ed." Fizz ed! Yay! Fizz ed is my favorite part of the day because we get to play sports and games and run around the gym instead of learn boring stuff. Our fizz ed teacher, Miss Small, is off the wall. We walked a million hundred miles to the gym. But when we got there, Miss Small wasn't around. And the gym smelled funny. "What's that weird smell?" I asked. "I think it's incense," said Andrea. I never heard of that stuff, but it stinks. I thought I was gonna throw up. In the far corner of the gym, there was a guy lying on the floor. We all ran over to see

会有人想做这种疯狂的事吗？”“这倒提醒了我，”格拉尼特先生突然说。 “我们得走了。是时候喝fizz了。” 饮料艾德!耶!碳酸饮料是我一天中最喜欢的部分，因为我们可以做运动和游戏，在健身房跑来跑去，而不是学习无聊的东西。 我们活泼的老师斯莫尔小姐疯了。 我们走了百万里路去健身房。 但当我们到那里时，斯莫尔小姐不在。 健身房闻起来怪怪的。 “那怪味是什么？”我问。 “我想是熏香吧。”安德烈说。 我从没听说过这种东西，但它很臭。 我以为我要吐了。 在体育馆远处的角落里，有一个人躺在地板上。 我们都跑过去看

if he was okay. That's when I saw that the guy wasn't really lying on the floor. He was lying on a bed made of nails! A bed made of nails?! The guy got up. He was wearing a turban on his head. "Oh, excuse me," he said in a squeaky voice. "I was just taking a nap." "On nails?" Neil said. "Doesn't that hurt?" "Not at all," he said. "It is very comfortable. Studies show that children learn faster when they sleep on a bed of nails." Those kids are weird. I know what I would learn if I slept on nails. I would learn to get off those dumb nails and go to sleep in a real bed. That's when Mrs. Jafee came into the gym.

如果他没事的话。这时我才发现那家伙并不是真的躺在地上。 他躺在一张用钉子做成的床上！用钉子做的床？那人站了起来。 他头上戴着头巾。 “哦，对不起，”他尖声说。 “我只是在打个盹。” “在指甲?”尼尔说。“不疼吗？”“一点也不，”他说。 “它非常舒适。研究表明，孩子睡在钉床上学得更快。” 那些孩子很奇怪。我知道如果我睡在钉子上会学到什么。 我要学着摘下那些愚蠢的指甲，睡在一张真正的床上。 这时杰菲太太走进了健身房。

"Okeydokey!" she said. "I want to introduce you guys and gals to Swami Havabanana. He's from India." "Good day," Swami Havabanana said as he bowed to us. "It is a most beautiful morning in which to be alive, is it not?" "Where's Miss Small?" we all asked. "Oh, her?" said Mrs. Jafee. "I fired her, by golly! Swami Havabanana is our new

“好吧！”她说。“我想向你们介绍斯瓦米·哈瓦那纳。 他来自印度。”“你们好，”斯瓦米·哈瓦巴纳纳一边向我们鞠躬一边说。 “这是一个最适合生活的早晨，不是吗？”“斯莫尔小姐在哪儿？”我们都问。 “哦，她？”杰菲太太说。 “我把她开除了，天哪！”Swami Havabanana是我们的新