1 The End of Mr. Klutz

Mrs. Jafee Is Daffy!

杰菲太太是达菲！

Chapter 1 The End of Mr. Klutz? My name is A.J. and I hate school.* I would rather go shopping for clothes with my mom than go to school. I would rather watch a ballet than go to school. I would rather eat a squirrel that got hit by a car and was lying in the middle of the road for a week than go to school. Well, maybe not that last one. It was Monday, the worst day of the week. Everybody had to go to the all-purpose room, which is a room we use for all purposes, so it has the perfect name. The whole school was gabbing when our principal, Mr. Klutz, got up on the stage. He was holding a suitcase. Mr. Klutz has no hair at all. I mean none. Not even a little on the sides, like my grandpa.

第1章克鲁茨先生的末日？ 我叫aj，我讨厌学校。*我宁愿和妈妈一起去买衣服也不愿去上学。 我宁愿看芭蕾舞也不愿去上学。 我宁愿吃一只被车撞了躺在路中间一个星期的松鼠，也不愿去上学。 好吧，也许不是最后一个。 那是星期一，一周中最糟糕的一天。 每个人都要去多功能室，这是一个我们用来做各种事情的房间，所以它有一个完美的名字。 当我们的校长克鲁茨先生走上舞台时，整个学校都在议论纷纷。 他提着一个手提箱。 克鲁茨先生根本没有头发。 我是说没有。连侧面都没有，像我爷爷那样。

"I have an important announcement to make," said Mr. Klutz. "Quiet!" said Michael, who never ties his shoes. "Mr. Klutz is gonna make an important announcement!" "Shhhhh!" said Ryan, who will eat anything. "Mr. Klutz is gonna make an important announcement!" "Stop talking!" said Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes. "Mr. Klutz is gonna make an important announcement!" We were all buzzing so much about Mr. Klutz's announcement that he couldn't make the announcement that he was trying to announce. The teachers held up peace signs with their fingers, which means "shut up." But nobody shut up. Mr. Klutz reached into his pocket and

“我要宣布一件重要的事情，”克鲁兹说。 “安静！”从不系鞋带的迈克尔说。 “克鲁茨先生要宣布一件重要的事”“嘘！”瑞安说，他什么都吃。 “克鲁茨先生要宣布一件重要的事”“别说话了！”尼尔说，尽管他穿着衣服，我们还是称他为裸体孩子。 “克鲁茨先生要宣布一件重要的事”我们都对克鲁茨先生的声明议论纷纷，以至于他无法宣布他想宣布的消息。 老师们用手指举起和平的手势，意思是“闭嘴”。 但是没人闭嘴。克鲁茨先生把手伸进口袋

pulled out one of those air horn cans that people bring to football games. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! We all covered our ears and stopped talking. "Boys and girls, I want to let you know that I have to go to the airport, because I'm leaving—" WHAT?! "Mr. Klutz is leaving!" one of the second graders yelled. Everybody started freaking out, screaming, crying, and falling out of their seats. You should have been there! "Mr. Klutz isn't going to be our principal anymore!" wailed Andrea Young, this annoying girl in my class with curly brown hair. "He must have been fired!" "We've got to do something!" shouted Andrea's crybaby friend, Emily. Then she

拿出一个人们带去看足球比赛的空气喇叭罐。 BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP !我们都捂着耳朵不说话了。 “孩子们，我想让你们知道我要去机场了，因为我要走了——”什么？“先生。 一个二年级学生喊道：“克鲁茨要走了！” 每个人都吓坏了，尖叫，哭泣，从座位上摔下来。 你应该去的！“先生。 克鲁茨不会再当我们的校长了！”安德里亚·杨（Andrea Young）哀号道，她是我们班上一个令人讨厌的棕色卷发女孩。 “他一定是被解雇了！”“我们得做点什么！”安德里亚爱哭的朋友艾米丽喊道。 然后,她

went running out of the all-purpose room.

跑出了多功能室。

Even the teachers were sobbing and blowing their noses into tissues. Well, they blew the snot from their noses into the tissues, not the noses themselves. If they blew their noses into the tissues, their noses would fall off; and it would be weird to walk around without a nose. "Don't leave us!" wailed Ms. Hannah, the art teacher. She jumped onstage and was hanging on to Mr. Klutz's leg. "What will we do without you?" moaned Miss Lazar, the custodian. Mr. Klutz held up the air horn can again. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Everybody stopped yelling and crying. "As I was saying," Mr. Klutz said, "I'm leaving… for four days." Oh. That's different.

就连老师们也在抽泣，用纸巾擤鼻涕。 他们把鼻子里的鼻涕吹到纸巾里，而不是鼻子本身。 如果他们用鼻子擤鼻涕，他们的鼻子就会掉下来；没有鼻子到处走会很奇怪。 “别离开我们！” 汉娜，美术老师。她跳上舞台，抓住了克鲁茨的腿。 “没有你我们该怎么办？”看门人拉扎尔小姐呻吟道。 克鲁茨先生又举起了汽笛罐。 BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP !每个人都停止了叫喊和哭泣。 “就像我说的，”克鲁茨说，“我要离开……四天。” 哦。这是不同的。