8 Mrs. Cooney Is Busted

8 Mrs. Cooney Is Busted What a weird day it was! Officer Spence was arresting grown-ups left and right! After reading, we had to go to the nurse's room for health. Our school nurse is Mrs. Cooney. She has eyes that look like cotton candy, and she is beautiful. She wanted to marry me a while back, but I told her I wouldn't marry her because she's already married to some guy named Mr. Cooney. Mrs. Cooney was teaching us about Hi Jean.* "You should wash your hands every time you use the bathroom," she told us. "That will prevent the spread of germs that make us—" She didn't have the chance to finish her sentence, because that's when Officer

这是多么奇怪的一天啊！斯宾塞警官到处逮捕成年人！看完书，我们不得不去护士室健康。 我们学校的护士是库尼太太。 她的眼睛看起来像棉花糖，她很漂亮。 前阵子她想嫁给我，但我告诉她我不会娶她因为她已经嫁给了一个叫库尼先生的人。 库尼太太正在教我们“你好吉恩”。*“每次上厕所都要洗手，”她告诉我们。 “这样可以防止细菌的传播，让我们——”她还没来得及说完，因为警官

Spence burst into the room. "Freeze, dirtbag!" he yelled. "What's the meaning of this?" asked Mrs. Cooney, putting her hands up. "I didn't do anything." "I want you to open that cabinet over the sink slowly," Officer Spence ordered. "And then back away. No false moves, Cooney!"

斯宾塞冲进房间。 “别动，混蛋！” “这是什么意思？”库尼太太举起双手问。 “我什么也没做。”“我要你慢慢打开水槽上方的那个柜子，”斯宾塞警官命令道。 然后又退后。不准乱动，库尼！”

Mrs. Cooney went and opened the cabinet over the sink. There were some bandages in there and some bottles of aspirin. "Aha!" Officer Spence hollered. "Aspirin! Can you get that stuff in a drugstore?" "Well, yes, of course," Mrs. Cooney said. "Just as I suspected!" Officer Spence shouted. "You're a drug dealer!" "WHAT?!" "You're handing out drugs to innocent children!" Officer Spence yelled as he wheeled in a portable jail cell. "You should be ashamed of yourself. How do you sleep at night?" "I take NyQuil," Mrs. Cooney said. "Get in the cell, Cooney, and nobody gets hurt!" "But I didn't—" "You have the right to remain silent,"

库尼太太走过去，打开水槽上方的柜子。 里面有一些绷带和几瓶阿司匹林。 “啊哈!”斯宾塞警官喊道。 “阿司匹林!你能在药店买到那种东西吗？”“嗯，是的，当然，”库尼太太说。 “不出我所料！”斯宾塞警官喊道。 “你是个毒贩子！”“什么? !”“你在给无辜的孩子分发毒品！”斯宾塞警官一边嚷着，一边把一间便携式牢房推了进来。 “你应该为自己感到羞耻。 你晚上怎么睡得着？”“我吃奈奎尔，”库尼太太说。 “进牢房，库尼，没人会受伤！”“可是我没有——”“你有权保持沉默。”

yelled Officer Spence. "So shut up!" "No! Help! Let me goooooooooooooooo!" "Are you going to do a full-scale investigation?" I asked. "There's the scale." "Quiet, you!" said Officer Spence. He told us to be on our best behavior while he wheeled Mrs. Cooney's jail cell over to where the other arrested grown-ups were. So as soon as he left the room, me and Michael and Ryan got up and shook our butts at the class. Most of the kids laughed. Except for Little Miss I-Never-Do-Anything-Wrong. "You know, you shouldn't be joking around, Arlo," Andrea said. "This whole thing is your fault." "My fault?" I said. "What did I do?" "If you had checked your lunch box before coming to school, you would have noticed that your sandwich was missing,"

斯宾塞警官喊道。“所以闭嘴！”“不!的帮助!让我走吧！”“你会进行全面调查吗？”我问。 “这就是规模。”“安静，你！”斯宾塞警官说。 当他把库尼太太的牢房推到其他被捕的成年人所在的地方时，他告诉我们要好好表现。 所以他一离开教室，我、迈克尔和瑞安就站起来，对着教室摇屁股。 大多数孩子都笑了。除了我从不犯错的小小姐。 “你知道，你不应该到处开玩笑，阿乐，”安德烈说。 “整件事都是你的错。” “我的错?”我说。“我做了什么？”“如果你在来学校之前检查过你的午餐盒，你就会注意到你的三明治不见了。”

said Andrea. "Then none of this would have happened." I hate Andrea. We were all sitting there in the nurse's office without any grown-ups. I looked at Michael. Michael looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at Andrea. Andrea looked at Emily. Emily looked at Neil the nude kid. We were all looking at each other. "Maybe Officer Spence isn't a real security guard," I said. "Did you ever think of that?" "Yeah," Michael said, "maybe he kidnapped our real security guard and has him locked up in a cage. Just like he's locking up all the teachers. Stuff like that happens all the time, you know." "Stop trying to scare Emily," said Andrea. Emily looked like she was going to cry. As usual.

安德里亚说。“那这一切就不会发生了。” 我讨厌安德里亚。我们都坐在护士办公室里，没有大人在场。 我看着迈克尔。迈克尔看着瑞恩。 瑞安看着安德里亚。安德烈看着爱米丽。 艾米丽看着尼尔这个裸体小孩。 我们都面面相觑。 “也许斯宾塞警官不是一个真正的保安，”我说。 “你想过吗？”“是啊，”迈克尔说，“也许他绑架了我们真正的保安，把他关在笼子里。 就像他把所有老师都关起来一样。 你知道，这样的事情经常发生。” “别吓唬艾米丽了，”安德烈说。 艾米丽看起来好像要哭了。 像往常一样。

"Officer Spence is crazy!" Ryan said. "There's no telling what he'll do next." "He might put us all in jail!" said Neil the nude kid. "We've got to do something!" Emily said, and then she went running out of the room. Well, at least we got rid of her. She is such a crybaby. "Emily was right," said Neil. "We've got to do something." "What can we do, call the police?" asked Andrea. "Officer Spence is the police." Andrea was right, for once in her life. There was nothing we could do. That's when I got the greatest idea in the history of the world. On the wall in the nurse's office is a little red box that says FIRE: IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, BREAK GLASS. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I

“斯宾塞警官疯了！”瑞恩说。 “谁也说不准他下一步会做什么。” “他可能会把我们都关进监狱！”裸体小孩尼尔说。 “我们必须做点什么！”爱米丽说，然后就跑出了房间。 至少我们摆脱了她。 她是个爱哭鬼。“艾米丽是对的，”尼尔说。 “我们必须做点什么。” “我们能怎么办，报警吗？”安德烈问。 “斯宾塞警官就是警察。” 安德里亚是对的，这是她一生中唯一一次。 我们什么也做不了。 就在那时，我想到了世界历史上最伟大的主意。 护士办公室的墙上有一个红色的小盒子，上面写着：紧急情况下，打碎玻璃。 “你和我想的一样吗？”我