3 The Peanut Butter and Jelly Bandit

3 The Peanut Butter and Jelly Bandit Officer Spence shoved Mr. Klutz against the wall and started searching through his pockets. "You can't arrest the principal of our school!" said Andrea. "Oh no?" Officer Spence said. "Just watch me." "I didn't steal anything!" said Mr. Klutz. "Oh no?" asked Officer Spence, holding up a spoon he found in Mr. Klutz's pocket. "What's this?" "It's a spoon," Mr. Klutz said, "for my yogurt." "Yogurt!" Officer Spence snorted. "Yeah, right! A spoon can be a deadly weapon,

斯宾塞警官把克鲁茨先生推到墙上，开始搜他的口袋。 “你不能逮捕我们学校的校长！”安德烈说。 “哦不?”斯宾塞警官说。 “看着我。”“我什么也没偷！”克鲁茨先生说。 “哦，不？”斯宾塞警官问，举起了他在克鲁茨口袋里找到的一把勺子。 “这是什么?”“这是一个勺子，”克鲁茨说，“用来放酸奶的。” “酸奶!”斯宾塞警官哼了一声。 “是啊,没错!勺子可以是致命武器，

Klutz! You could gouge somebody's eyes out with one of those things. I'm going to have to confiscate this yogurt and do a DNA test on it." "WHAT? Why?" "You have the right to remain silent, Klutz," Officer Spence said. "So shut up! Now open that briefcase. Nice and slow. And don't make any false moves!" Mr. Klutz put his briefcase on the table and opened it. "What have we here?" Officer Spence said as he held up two sandwiches. "Those are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches," Mr. Klutz said. "And I suppose you were going to eat a yogurt and three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch today, eh?" asked Officer Spence. "That's right," Mr. Klutz said. "I love

这些外行!你可以用那种东西把人的眼睛挖出来。 我要没收这瓶酸奶，并对它进行DNA检测。” “什么?为什么?”“你有权保持沉默，笨蛋，”斯宾塞警官说。 “所以闭嘴！”现在打开那个公文包。 慢慢来。别乱动！”克鲁茨先生把公文包放在桌子上，打开了。 “这是什么？”斯宾塞警官举起两个三明治说。 “那是花生酱和果冻三明治，”克鲁茨说。 “我猜你今天中午要吃一份酸奶和三个花生酱果冻三明治，是吗？”斯宾塞警官问。 “没错，”克鲁茨说。 “我爱

peanut butter and jelly." "YOU'RE THE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY BANDIT!" Officer Spence yelled, pointing his finger at Mr. Klutz. "You steal food from hungry children. Is that the way you roll, Klutz?" "No!" Mr. Klutz said. "My wife made those sandwiches for me. She makes my lunch every day." Officer Spence grabbed the front of Mr. Klutz's shirt and yelled in his face. "That's right; blame it on your wife! You're pathetic, Klutz! I know how to handle punks like you." "But—" Officer Spence spun Mr. Klutz around and handcuffed his hands behind his back. "But I didn't do anything!" Mr. Klutz protested. "I'm the principal!" "The criminal is always the one you least

花生酱和果冻。”“你是花生酱和果冻大盗！”斯宾塞警官喊道，用手指着克鲁茨先生。 “你从饥饿的孩子那里偷食物。 你就是这样的吗，笨蛋？”“不!”克鲁茨说。 “那些三明治是我妻子给我做的。 她每天给我做午饭。” 斯宾塞警官抓住克鲁茨的衬衫前襟，对着他大喊大叫。 “这是正确的;都怪你老婆！你真可怜，笨蛋！我知道怎么对付你这种小混混。” “但是——”斯宾塞警官把克鲁茨先生转过身来，把他的双手铐在背后。 “可我什么也没做啊！”克鲁兹抗议道。 “我是校长！”“罪犯总是你最不重视的那个人。

suspect," said Officer Spence. At that moment, our vice principal, Mrs. Jafee, came rushing over. "What's the doggone problem here?" she asked. "I heard some yelling." "Freeze, dirtbag!" shouted Officer Spence. "You're under arrest!" "WHAT!" yelled Mrs. Jafee as he handcuffed her. "Take them away, boys!" Officer Spence shouted. "The two of 'em make me sick!" The guys with bulletproof vests led Mr. Klutz and Mrs. Jafee out of the vomitorium. We looked out the window and saw them get into a police car. The sirens were screaming and the lights were flashing as the police car drove away. "WOW!" we all said again, which is "MOM" upside down. I didn't like seeing Mr. Klutz and Mrs.

斯宾塞警官说。 就在这时，我们的副校长杰菲夫人冲了过来。 “这到底是什么问题？”她问。 “我听到有人大喊大叫。”“别动，混蛋！”斯宾塞警官喊道。 “你被捕了！”“什么！”杰菲太太喊道，这时他给她戴上了手铐。 “把他们带走，孩子们！”斯宾塞警官喊道。 “他们两个真让我恶心！”穿防弹背心的人把克鲁茨先生和杰菲太太领出了体育馆。 我们向窗外望去，看见他们上了一辆警车。 警笛尖叫，警灯闪烁，警车开走了。 “哇！”我们又说了一遍，这是“妈妈”的上下颠倒。 我不喜欢看到克鲁茨先生和夫人。

Jafee get arrested, but I had to admit it was cool. A lot of weird things have happened at Ella Mentry School, but this was the first time our principal and vice principal were taken away in handcuffs.

杰菲被逮捕了，但我不得不承认这很酷。 在艾拉门特里学校发生过很多奇怪的事情，但这是我们的校长和副校长第一次被带着手铐带走。

I looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at Michael. Michael looked at Neil. We were all looking at each other. Nobody knew what to say. Nobody except Andrea, of course. "My name is Andrea, and I'm on the Principal's Advisory Committee," she said to Officer Spence. "Aren't you overreacting a little? I mean, it was just a sandwich." "Just a sandwich, Andrea?" Officer Spence said, sneering. "Oh, you don't know the first thing about how the criminal mind works. First they steal a sandwich. If they get away with it, they come back the next day and take your whole lunch. And if you don't stop them right there, the next thing you know, they stole your refrigerator." "You think Mr. Klutz is going to steal a refrigerator?" Michael asked.

我看着瑞恩。瑞恩看着迈克尔。 迈克尔看着尼尔。我们都面面相觑。 没人知道该说什么。当然，除了安德里亚没人。 “我叫安德里亚，我是校长咨询委员会的成员，”她对斯宾塞警官说。 “你是不是有点反应过度了？” 我的意思是，它只是一个三明治。” “只是一个三明治，安德里亚？”斯宾塞警官冷笑着说。 “哦，你根本不知道犯罪心理是如何运作的。 首先他们偷了一个三明治。 如果他们侥幸逃脱，第二天他们会再来拿走你的整个午餐。 如果你不马上阻止他们，接下来你就知道，他们偷走了你的冰箱。” “你觉得克鲁茨先生会去偷冰箱吗？”迈克尔问道。