2 Officer Spence Is Weird

2 Officer Spence Is Weird My mom never forgets my peanut butter and jelly sandwich! I turned my lunch box upside down just to make sure the sandwich wasn't stuck to the bottom. "Hey, which one of you stole my PB&J?" I asked the guys. "Not me," said Ryan. "Wasn't me," said Michael. "Don't look at me," said Neil the nude kid. That's when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. Our school security guard, Officer Spence, came running over really fast. He gets to carry cool stuff on his belt—a walkie-talkie, handcuffs, and one of those clubs they use to beat up bad guys on TV.

我妈妈从来不会忘记我的花生酱和果冻三明治！我把我的午餐盒倒过来，只是为了确保三明治没有粘在底部。 “你们谁偷了我的花生酱和果酱”我问他们。 “不是我，”瑞恩说。“不是我。”迈克尔说。 “别看我，”裸体小孩尼尔说。 就在那时，世界历史上最奇怪的事情发生了。 我们学校的保安，斯宾塞警官，跑得很快。 他的腰带上有很酷的东西——对讲机，手铐，还有电视上用来打坏人的棍子。

"Did I hear something about a stolen PB&J?" Officer Spence said. "That's the third one this week!" "My mom probably forgot to pack it," I told him. "It's not a big deal." "No, this looks like a robbery to me," said Officer Spence. He grabbed his walkie-talkie and started shouting into it. "We have a Code Red at Ella Mentry School! A PB&J heist! Need backup! Fast! This is an emergency!" "But Officer Spence, really, I don't need

“我是不是听说有人偷了PB&J?”斯宾塞警官说。 “这是本周第三次了！”“我妈妈可能忘记打包了，”我告诉他。 “这没什么大不了的。”“不，在我看来，这像是一起抢劫案，”斯宾塞警官说。 他抓起对讲机，开始对着对讲机大喊大叫。 “我们在艾拉中学有一个红色代码！一次PB&J的抢劫！需要备份!快!这是紧急情况！”“但是斯宾塞警官，真的，我不需要

I never had the chance to finish my sentence, because that's when five big guys in bulletproof vests came charging into the vomitorium! They surrounded our table. It was scary, but cool, too. "Nobody move!" Officer Spence shouted at us. He took a roll of yellow tape out of his pocket and wrapped it around our chairs. "Don't touch anything! This is a crime scene. Nobody leave this room. I'll have to question each of you."

我还没来得及把话说完，因为就在这时，五个穿着防弹背心的大个子冲进了体育馆！他们围着我们的桌子。 很吓人，但也很酷。 “没有人动!”斯宾塞警官对我们大喊大叫。 他从口袋里掏出一卷黄色胶带，把它缠在我们的椅子上。 “不要碰任何东西！”这是犯罪现场。 谁也不许离开这个房间。我要问你们每个人。”

Everybody in the vomitorium was shouting and screaming and freaking out. That's when Mr. Klutz came over. He's the principal of Ella Mentry School, and he has no hair at all. I mean none. His head is so shiny, you can see yourself in it. Mr. Klutz was eating a sandwich. "Is there the problem here?" he asked. Suddenly, Officer Spence wheeled around and pointed his finger at Mr. Klutz as if it was a gun. It was just like policemen do to bad guys on TV. "Freeze, dirtbag!" he yelled.

体育馆里的每个人都在大喊大叫，吓坏了。 就在这时，克鲁茨先生走了过来。 他是艾拉门特瑞学校的校长，他根本没有头发。 我是说没有。他的头很闪亮，你可以在里面看到你自己。 克鲁茨先生正在吃三明治。 “有什么问题吗？”他问。 突然，斯宾塞警官转过身来，用手指着克鲁茨先生，好像那是把枪。 就像电视上警察对待坏人一样。 “别动，混蛋！”

"WOW!" we all said, which is "MOM" upside down. On TV, the police always yell "Freeze, dirtbag!" when they catch a bad guy breaking the law. Nobody knows why. But I never thought anybody would say "Freeze, dirtbag!" to the principal of a school. It was cool. Mr. Klutz put his hands in the air. "Step away from the sandwich, Klutz, and nobody gets hurt!" Officer Spence said. "You're under arrest!" "On what charge?" Mr. Klutz asked. "Robbery!" said Officer Spence.

“哇！”我们都说，这是“妈妈”的上下颠倒。 在电视上，当警察抓到一个违法的坏人时，他们总是大喊“别动，混蛋！” 没人知道为什么。但我从没想过会有人对校长说“别动，混蛋” 很酷。克鲁茨先生举起双手。 “离三明治远点，笨手笨脚的，没人会受伤！”斯宾塞警官说。 “你被捕了！”“什么罪名？”克鲁茨问道。 “抢劫！”斯宾塞警官说。