11 Skippy and Jif Save the Day

11 Skippy and Jif Save the Day Officer Spence was about to name the peanut butter and jelly bandit when we heard this loud grinding noise. It sounded like it was coming from under the stage. Then there was a banging noise. BANG! BANG! BANG! And then, right next to Officer Spence, this thing popped up from under the stage! It was tan-colored, and it looked like a balloon or a beach ball or something. "A tan-colored beach ball is coming through the floor!" I hollered. "No, I think it's a giant sea serpent!" yelled Ryan. "It looks like an enormous lightbulb!"

shouted Michael. "Run for your lives!" screamed Neil the nude kid. But then we all realized that the thing that was coming up through the floor wasn't a balloon or a beach ball or a giant sea serpent or an enormous lightbulb. You'll never believe in a million hundred years what it was. It was Mr. Klutz's shiny bald head! Our principal, Mr. Klutz, climbed out from under the stage. He was wearing a prison uniform. "Hooray for Mr. Klutz!" all the teachers shouted. Coming up right behind Mr. Klutz was our vice principal, Mrs. Jafee! She was wearing a prison uniform, too, and she had two dogs with her.

"We thought you were in jail!" shouted Michael. "We were in jail, you betcha," Mrs. Jafee said. "We tunneled out using our yogurt spoons." "I'm starved," said Mr. Klutz. "Does anybody have any yogurt?" Officer Spence looked really mad. He wheeled around and pointed his finger at Mr. Klutz and Mrs. Jafee like it was a gun. "Freeze, dirtbags!" he yelled. "You're under arrest… again! In fact, you're all under

arrest!" "All of us?" asked Andrea. "That's right," Officer Spence said. "Kids too. The whole school. Everybody's under arrest! You're all going to jail. Hands up!" Four hundred kids put our hands in the air. Mrs. Jafee's dogs started nosing around the stage like they were trying to smell something. "What cute dogs!" said Andrea, who never misses the chance to brownnose a grown-up. "What are their names?" "Skippy and Jif," said Mrs. Jafee. "They're peanut butter–sniffing dogs."

Peanut butter–sniffing dogs? I heard of dogs that sniff out bombs. I heard of dogs that sniff out drugs. But I never heard of dogs that sniff out peanut butter! Maybe Mrs. Jafee was yanking our chain. "Where did you get peanut butter–sniffing dogs?" asked Emily. "From Rent-A-Peanut-Butter–Sniffing-Dog," said Mr. Klutz. "You can rent anything." "Ruff!" barked Skippy.

"Get those dogs out of here!" shouted Officer Spence. "You can't have dogs in school!" The dogs were sniffing all around Officer Spence. "Ruff!" barked Jif. "You dogs are under arrest," Officer Spence yelled. "Put your paws up! You have the right to remain silent—" But Officer Spence didn't have the chance to finish his sentence because suddenly, Skippy pulled something out of Officer Spence's pocket. It was a sandwich! A peanut butter and jelly sandwich! "GASP!" everybody gasped. "Oh, snap!" said Ryan. "How did that get in my pocket?" asked Officer Spence. "Who put it there?" "I'll tell you who put it there," Mr. Klutz