1 The Thing I Love

Coach Hyatt IS A Riot!

凯悦教练是一个骚乱！

Chapter 1 The Thing I Love My name is A.J. and I love school. Going to school is just so much fun! I wish we could go to school at night. I wish we could go to school on the weekend. I wish we never had vacations. Just kidding! I hate school! Do you know what I would rather do than go to school? I would rather eat a dead-bug sandwich. No, I would rather eat a live-bug sandwich. That would be even worse than a dead-bug sandwich, because the bugs would still be moving around in the sandwich while I was eating it. Ugh, disgusting! But even more disgusting than eating a live-bug sandwich is going to school. I don't hate everything, you know. Some

我的名字叫A.J. 我喜欢学校。上学真是太有趣了！我希望我们晚上能去上学。 我希望我们周末能去学校。 我希望我们从未有过假期。 只是开个玩笑!我讨厌学校！你知道比起上学，我更愿意做什么吗？ 我宁愿吃死虫三明治。 不，我宁愿吃活虫子三明治。 那将比死虫三明治更糟糕，因为当我吃三明治的时候，虫子仍然会在三明治里四处移动。 啊,真恶心!但比吃活虫子三明治更恶心的是去学校。 你知道，我不是什么都讨厌。 一些

stuff I love. Like video games. And skateboarding. And trick biking. I'll tell you the one thing that I really love more than anything in the world. And it's not Andrea Young, this annoying girl in my class with curly brown hair. I love Pee Wee Football. In the fall I play football every Saturday. Football is cool because you get to push and shove and yell and knock kids on their butts. And the best part is, you don't even get punished! At school, if you push and shove and yell and knock kids on their butts, you have to go to the principal's office. But in football you're supposed to push and shove and yell and knock kids on their butts. That's why I hate school and love Pee Wee Football. If you ask me, the world would be a better place if they closed all the

我喜欢的东西。比如电子游戏。 和滑板。还有骑自行车。 我来告诉你我最爱的一件事。 也不是安德里亚·杨，我班上那个烦人的棕色卷发女孩。 我喜欢Pee Wee Football。在秋天，我每个星期六都踢足球。 橄榄球很酷，因为你可以推推搡搡，大喊大叫，把孩子们的屁股撞到。 最棒的是，你甚至不会受到惩罚！在学校里，如果你又推又搡又大喊大叫，把孩子的屁股撞翻，你就得去校长办公室。 但在足球比赛中，你应该推推搡搡，大喊大叫，把孩子们的屁股撞到。 所以我讨厌学校，喜欢小屁孩足球。 如果你问我，我会说如果他们把所有的

schools and turned them into Pee Wee Football camps. The only problem is, my team stinks! We're called the Moose, and we lost every game last season. Every game! The good news is, we're getting a new coach this year named Coach Hyatt. I bet he'll be a lot better than our old coach, Mr. Boozer. Mr. Boozer was a loser. I put on my uniform and shoulder pads to get ready for our first practice. Shoulder pads are cool because they make it look like you have big muscles. Our uniform is red, and we have red helmets with a lightning bolt down the middle. Mom drove me to practice at the high school field. We got out of the car and looked around until we found the other guys in the seventy-pound league.

把它们变成了小屁孩足球训练营。 唯一的问题是，我的队伍烂透了！我们叫驼鹿队，上个赛季我们每场比赛都输了。 每一场比赛!好消息是，我们今年有了一位新教练叫凯悦教练。 我打赌他会比我们的老教练布泽尔先生强得多。 布泽尔是个失败者。我穿上制服，戴上垫肩，为第一次训练做准备。 垫肩很酷，因为它让你看起来肌肉发达。 我们的制服是红色的，我们有红色的头盔，中间有一个闪电。 妈妈开车送我去高中的球场练习。 我们下了车，环顾四周，直到我们找到了70磅联盟里的其他人。

"Give me a good-bye hug, A.J.," my mom said. Mom is always trying to hug me, especially in front of other kids. Moms are weird. "Not now, Mom." "Hug me, A.J.," my mom said. "No way." "I want a hug, A.J.," my mom said. "I don't think so." Mom reached out to grab me. But I faked left. Then I faked right. Then I faked left again. Ha-ha! I totally faked out my mom! She can't play football to save her life. Eat my dust, Mom! There were around twenty kids with red uniforms like mine. Some of them were in my class, and some others I didn't know. "I can't wait to meet Coach Hyatt," said my friend Michael, who never ties his shoes.

“给我一个告别的拥抱，aj，”我妈妈说。 妈妈总是想拥抱我，尤其是在其他孩子面前。 妈妈们都很奇怪。“现在不行，妈妈。” “抱抱我，aj，”我妈妈说。 “没有办法”。“我想要一个拥抱，aj，”我妈妈说。 “我不这么认为。”妈妈伸手抓住我。 但我假装左转。然后我假装对了。 然后我又假装左转。哈哈!我完全骗过了我妈！她不能踢足球来挽救她的生命。 吃我的灰尘，妈妈！大约有20个孩子穿着和我一样的红色制服。 他们中有些是我班上的，有些是我不认识的。 “我等不及要见凯悦教练了，”我的朋友迈克尔说，他从不系鞋带。

"I hope he lets me be the kicker," said Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn't food. "I hope he lets me play fullback," said Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes. "I hope he lets me be the quarterback because—" I didn't get the chance to finish my sentence, because that's when a cool car pulled up. It looked just like a real car, only smaller. Michael knows all about cars. He

“我希望他让我当踢球者，”瑞安说，他什么都吃，甚至不是食物的东西。 “我希望他能让我踢后卫，”尼尔说，尽管他穿着衣服，我们还是称他为裸体孩子。 “我希望他让我当四分卫，因为——”我没来得及说完这句话，因为这时一辆很酷的车停了下来。 它看起来就像一辆真车，只是更小一些。 迈克尔对汽车了如指掌。 他