9 Tattletales

Chapter 9 Tattletales I didn't believe for a minute that Mr. Granite was born in New Jersey. He was an alien from another planet for sure. And even though we didn't have a picture of him peeling off his face, we decided there was only one thing left for us to do: We had to tell Mr. Klutz. The next morning we all met at school early to go to Mr. Klutz's office. When we got there, he was wearing one of those weird square hats we had to wear at graduation. And he was sticking his head out the window. "Why are you sticking your head out the window?" Ryan asked. "Oh, excuse me," said Mr. Klutz, pulling

his head back inside. "I had to sharpen my pencil." "You have a pencil sharpener outside your window?" asked Michael. "No, I was just gathering solar energy to power my pencil sharpener," Mr. Klutz told us. "See? This cap has a solar panel in it. It was Mr. Granite's idea." Mr. Klutz showed us how to sharpen a pencil with his solar-powered pencil sharpener. It was cool. "We wanted to talk to you about Mr. Granite," said Ryan. "I'm all ears," Mr. Klutz said. "You are not," I told him. "You have eyes and a nose and a mouth, too. It would be weird to be all ears."

"It's just an expression, dumbhead," said Andrea, rolling her eyes. "It means Mr. Klutz is listening." "I knew that," I lied. "Anyway, we think there's something weird about Mr. Granite." "Yes, I agree," Mr. Klutz said. "I can't put my finger on it." "Why would you want to put your finger on it?" I asked. "Mr. Granite lives in a pod," Emily said.

"And he has no nose hair," said Michael. "Mr. Klutz," said Andrea, "we suspect that Mr. Granite is from another planet." "Hmmmm," said Mr. Klutz. "It's funny you should mention that. The other day I saw a flying saucer in the teachers' lounge." "WHAT?!" we all shouted. "You did?" "Yes," said Mr. Klutz, "the teachers were throwing their teacups around again. I'll have to make another announcement about that." "If Mr. Granite is an alien, will you have to fire him?" asked Emily. "Or attack him with laser beams?" asked Ryan. "Hmmmm," said Mr. Klutz.* "This has never come up before. I'm not sure aliens from other planets are allowed to teach third grade. I'll have to check in the Board of Education rule book."

"I'm bored of education," I said. "In the meantime," said Mr. Klutz, "let's all keep our eyes peeled." "That will probably hurt," I told him. "Can't we just watch Mr. Granite instead?" "Okay, let's do that," he said. "I want to know everything about him. I want to know what makes him tick." "Mr. Granite ticks?" I asked. "Maybe there's a clock inside him. Like the crocodile in Peter Pan." "Maybe there's a bomb inside him!" Ryan said. "Mr. Granite swallowed a bomb?" asked Emily. "We've got to do something!"

"Run for your lives!" shouted Neil the nude kid. And we all went running out of Mr. Klutz's office.