7 Mr. Granite Goes Overboard

Chapter 7 Mr. Granite Goes Overboard It was recess. We were on the swings in the playground. Me and the guys were talking about important stuff, like who won the big game last night. Andrea and her friends were talking about girlie stuff, like what color they should paint their toenails. That's when Mr. Granite came over. He was carrying some kind of machine. "Everybody off the swings!" he shouted. "Why?" we all asked. "I need to attach this generator to the top of the swing set," Mr. Granite replied. "So every time you swing back and forth, you'll be making electricity."

We had to get off the swing set and go over to the field near the cows and the windmill. "I miss Mrs. Daisy," said Neil the nude kid. "She was normal." "We used to say Mrs. Daisy was weird," Michael said. "But Mr. Granite is even weirder." "MOOOOOOOOOO," said a cow. "Mr. Granite is going overboard with this

green stuff," said Ryan. "He's falling out of a boat?" I asked. "No, dumbhead," said Ryan. "I mean he's getting carried away." "I don't see anybody carrying him away," I pointed out. I looked around to make sure nobody was carrying Mr. Granite away. "MOOOOOOOOOO," said a cow. "I heard that Mr. Granite is working on a machine that makes electricity every time you blink your eyes," Michael told us. "We'll have to wear it like a pair of glasses." "That's crazy!" I said. "I heard that Mr. Granite asked the music teacher, Mr. Loring, to write a song with just one note in it," said Neil the nude kid. "Why?" we all asked. "So he wouldn't waste any notes," Neal

said. "That will be the most boring song in the history of the world," I said. "MOOOOOOOOOO," agreed a cow. Andrea and her friends were sitting on a bench a few feet away, looking all worried. "What's eating you?" I asked Andrea. "Did you get an A-minus on the math quiz?" "No, Arlo," Andrea replied. "I got an A- plus. But I just figured something out." "What?" we all asked. "Maybe Mr. Granite isn't a real teacher at all," Andrea said. "Did you ever think of that?" "What do you mean?" I asked. "Maybe he's just pretending to be a teacher," she said. "I think that Mr. Granite… is from another planet!" "That's nuts!" I told her.

"Think about it, Arlo!" Andrea said. "Mr. Granite knows a lot about planets and stars and space, right?" "Yeah." "And he doesn't understand the English language very well, right?" "Yeah." "He has super vision too," added Neil. "He can see through walls." "Did you ever notice that Mr. Granite doesn't have any hair growing out of his ears or nose?" Ryan asked. Andrea might be right! After all, the first rule of being a grown-up is that you have hair growing out of your ears and nose. My dad has to trim his nosehair every week. Maybe Mr. Granite is from another planet! "MOOOOOOOOOO," said a cow. "He doesn't look like an alien," said

Michael. "Aliens are little green guys with big heads." "Maybe Mr. Granite is disguised as a human," I suggested. "Yeah," said Ryan. "Maybe if we peeled off his human mask, underneath we'd find a little green guy with a big head." "Mr. Granite is nice," Emily said. "Maybe he's a good alien."