13 Saying Good-bye to Mr. Granite

Chapter 13 Saying Good-bye to Mr. Granite At three o'clock on Friday, the school secretary, Mrs. Patty, made an announcement that everybody had to go to the all-purpose room. When we got there, Mr. Klutz was up on the stage. He was holding a piece of paper. "I have big news!" Mr. Klutz told us. "Mr. Klutz has a big nose," I whispered to Ryan. "Are we the greenest school in the county?" asked Neil the nude kid. "No, we came in second place," Mr. Klutz said. Everybody groaned because that meant

we weren't going to have a chocolate cake party. "Second place?" Michael asked. "How could any school be greener than ours?" "Well," said Mr. Klutz, "the students at one of the other schools actually painted their school green! Too bad we didn't think of that." I looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at Michael. Michael looked at me. "So what's the big news?" asked Neil the nude kid. "The big news is that we received a letter from the president of the United States!" said Mr. Klutz. "WOW!" we all said, which is "MOM" upside down. I stuck my tongue out at Andrea, because she had thought it was a dumb idea to write to the president. Mr. Klutz read the letter:

Dear Students of Ella Mentry School, Thank you for the nice letter. I just wanted to let you know that I do not have a nose attached to my foot. Sincerely, The President It was cool to get a letter from the president, even if the letter made no sense at all. "I have more big news," Mr. Klutz told us. "Our third-grade teacher, Mr. Granite, is from a planet called Etinarg; and he is going home today. So we're going to have a going-away party… with chocolate cake!" "YAY!" everybody yelled. We went out to the playground, where there was the biggest chocolate cake in the

history of the world. Everybody was out there, even Jackie Macky. Mr. Brad cut the cake and Mrs. Jafee passed out pieces to everybody. Mr. Granite's spaceship was out in the field, near the cows. It was covered with potatoes. "MOOOOOOOO," said a cow.

We stuffed our faces with so much cake, I thought I was gonna throw up. It was the greatest day of my life. After we finished, Mr. Granite put on a space suit, and we went over to say good-bye to him. It was really sad. "I'm going to miss you kids," said Mr. Granite. "When I get home, I'm going to name my Etinarg friends A.J., Andrea, Ryan, Emily, Michael, and Neil." "We'll miss you too," said Andrea. "I hope that after I am gone," Mr. Granite told us, "you will keep saving energy and living green." "We will!" we all shouted. Everybody was sad to see Mr. Granite go. Emily cried, of course. So did some of the teachers. Mr. Granite waved to us as he climbed into his spaceship. Everybody gathered around. Mrs. Yonkers went over to

her computer and announced the countdown. "10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1!" said Mrs. Yonkers. "Begin microwaving the potatoes!" Our science teacher, Mr. Docker, flipped a switch. Nothing happened for like a million hundred seconds. Then there was a little ding sound. Steam started pouring out of the potatoes. The whole field smelled like baked potatoes. Slowly, the spaceship began rising off the ground.