12 Sad, Sad News

Chapter 12 Sad, Sad News I couldn't sleep that night. All I could do was think about Mr. Granite. What if he was lying? What if he really came here to take over our planet and turn us into killer zombie robot slaves? Stuff like that happens all the time, you know. I wished I had been able to buy one of those laser beam pens at Staples.

Maybe Mr. Granite was just pretending to be nice so it would be easier for him to take over the world. Maybe I should tell Mr. Klutz. If I didn't say anything and Mr. Granite took over our planet, it would be all my fault. This was the hardest decision I ever had

to make. My brain hurt from thinking so much. I was afraid my head was gonna explode. "Did you finish your homework?" my mom asked me on Monday morning. "Homework?" I said. "Aliens from another planet could be attacking at this very second, and you're worried about homework?" Finally, I decided to tell Mr. Klutz what I knew. As soon as I got to school, I marched into his office. He had a machine on his desk. It looked like a little microwave oven. "Hey, check this out, A.J.!" said Mr. Klutz. "It's called the Ultimate Recycler. This gizmo can turn a can into a bottle, or a bottle into a can. So instead of throwing away a bottle, you just turn it into a can. And instead of throwing away a can, you just turn it into a bottle. This will be great for the

environment!" "Why not just take the can or bottle and rinse it out?" I asked. "Then you can use it again." "Hmmmm," said Mr. Klutz. "That's a good idea, A.J. No wonder you're in the gifted and talented program." He picked up the Ultimate Recycler and threw it into the recycling bin. "Mr. Klutz," I said, "I have proof that Mr. Granite is from another planet. I saw him building a spaceship in his garage." "Hmmmmm," Mr. Klutz said. "Well, I have some news for you, A.J. I looked through the Board of Education rule book very carefully, and there is nothing in there that says aliens from other planets can't teach third grade." "So Mr. Granite can stay on Earth if he wants to?"

"That's right," said Mr. Klutz. "In fact, I'll call him in here right now to tell him the good news." Mr. Klutz called Mr. Granite on the intercom. A few minutes later, Mr. Granite came into the office. When he saw me, he looked mad. "It's okay," Mr. Klutz told Mr. Granite. "I know you're from another planet. But I think you're an excellent teacher, and I want you to stay at Ella Mentry School."

Mr. Klutz and Mr. Granite hugged, which was weird. "You are very kind," Mr. Granite said. "But my work here is done. I am ready to return to my home planet of Etinarg. I blast off Friday." "But I thought you said you didn't have any rocket fuel," I said. "I don't need rocket fuel anymore," Mr. Granite told me. "I met with Mr. Docker over the weekend, and he figured out a way to power my spaceship with potatoes." Wow! I knew you could power a car with potatoes. And I knew you could power a computer with potatoes. But how are you going to get a spaceship off the ground with just potato power? "Is that possible?" I asked. "It is," Mr. Granite said. "We're going to microwave the potatoes."