12 A.J. to the Rescue

Chapter 12 A.J. to the Rescue I ran toward the ocean and jumped into the waves. I swam as fast as I could. Finally, I found Andrea under the water. She was heavy! I picked her up and dragged her back to the beach. She was lying on the sand with her eyes closed. "Are you okay?" I asked. Andrea wasn't waking up. "She can't breathe!" yelled Ryan. "She needs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!" "Call Mr. Sunny!" I yelled. "He's still out there chasing the shark," Michael said. "You're gonna have to do it, A.J.," said Neil the nude kid. "Why me?" I asked. "You do it!"

"No, you." We went back and forth like that for a while. Andrea was just lying there. Somebody was going to have to do it. So I knelt down next to Andrea and tilted her head back, just like Mr. Sunny showed us. Then I pinched her nostrils shut. Then I leaned over and put my mouth over hers and blew air into it. Ugh, disgusting! I thought I was gonna die!

"Glub, glub," Andrea said. Then she spit out some water and opened her eyes. "Oooooh!" Ryan said. "A.J. and Andrea were kissing. They must be in love!" "When are you gonna get married?" asked Michael. "Arlo!" Andrea said. "You saved my life! I love you!" Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! "I thought you were in love with Mr. Sunny," I said, backing away from her as fast as I could. "That creep?" Andrea said as she got up. "He's way too old. You're the only man for me, Arlo. 'O, beauty, till now I never knew thee'!"

Andrea was talking that Shakespeare talk and putting her arms all over me. "Hey, knock it off," I told her. "O Arlo, Arlo! Wherefore art thou Arlo?" "Will you leave me alone?" I said, pushing her away. "And quit talking that Shakespeare talk." "'Good night, sweet prince,'" Andrea said. "'Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I

shall say good night till it be morrow.'" Andrea grabbed me again and leaned over until her mouth was almost touching mine. She puckered up her lips. Ewww, disgusting! Andrea was about to kiss me again! I didn't know what to say! I didn't know what to do! I had to think fast! "SHARK!" I yelled. Everybody looked out at the water. In all the excitement over Andrea drowning, we had forgotten about Mr. Sunny! "Help!" Mr. Sunny yelled. "Help!" "Did Mr. Sunny take acting lessons?" asked Michael. "He's drowning, you fobbing, toad- spotted, maggot pie!" said Andrea. "Oh, snap!" Ryan said. "She called you a fobbing, toad-spotted, maggot pie."

"Help! Help!" called Mr. Sunny as his head dipped below the water. "Glub, glub." "Mr. Sunny's a lifeguard," said Neil the nude kid. "How can he be drowning?" "Maybe he's not a real lifeguard," I said. "Did you ever think of that? Maybe he's a fake lifeguard. Maybe he kidnapped our real lifeguard and is holding him in an underground jail cell on a secret island. Stuff like that happens all the time, you know." But this was not a good time to discuss whether Mr. Sunny was a real lifeguard or not. I ran to the water, jumped in, and