7. Fast Food

Chapter 7 Fast Food When I came home from school on Friday, my mom dumped the stuff from my backpack on the kitchen table like always. A piece of paper flew out…. Come to the grand opening of… McLeakey's Fast, healthy food for fast, healthy lives! $10 off with this coupon And kids eat FREE! "Ms. Leakey must have opened her own restaurant," my mom said. "We should go there for dinner tonight." "What kind of a restaurant is it?" I asked suspiciously. "The coupon says it's fast food," my

mom said. Fast food? I love fast food! When my dad came home from work, we all piled into the car to go to Ms. Leakey's new restaurant. There was a big sign out front: McLeakey's My dad pulled the car up to the drive- through window. There was a big clown face with a hole where his mouth should be next to the window. "May I take your order?" asked the clown face. "Tell the clown what you want, A.J.," said my dad. "I'll have a hamburger," I said. "You should avoid eating too much red meat," the clown face said. "It has a lot of fat in it."

"Can I get a hot dog?" I asked. "Are you crazy?" said the clown face. "Do you have any idea what they put in hot

dogs? Trust me, you don't want to know." "How about some chicken nuggets?" I asked. "Don't even think about it!" said the clown face. I slapped my head and looked in the window to check out the menu. It was hard to read the letters. I noticed there was a tree in the middle of the restaurant. That was weird. "Well, what do you have?" I asked. "We have broccoli burgers, meatless meatballs, vegetarian ribs, McMelon, ten kinds of tofu…." "Toe food!" I said. "I'm not eating food made from toes." "Well, one of the kinds of tofu is nofu," said the clown face. "What's that?" my dad asked. "That's tofu with no toes in it," said the

clown face. "What do you have to drink?" I asked. "Protein shakes, soy shakes, vitamin shakes, wheat grass shakes…" "Can I just get a soda?" I asked. "Are you out of your mind?" asked the clown face. "That stuff'll kill ya! One can of soda contains ten packets of sugar in it. You might as well just eat poison. How about a bowl of steam? It's ninety-nine cents." "No thanks," I said. "I'm not hungry." "Me neither," said my sister, Amy. "Oh, and we have apples, too," said the clown face. "We'll just have two apples," said my dad. "Coming right up," said the clown face. "That will be one dollar. Pull up to the next window." My dad drove up to the next window.

There was a guy wearing a paper hat. My dad gave him a dollar bill. The guy reached behind him and pulled two apples off the tree that was in the middle of the restaurant. He tossed them to my dad. "See, I told you it was fast food," said my mom. McLeakey's is the weirdest restaurant in the history of the world.