5. Being Frank

Chapter 5 Being Frank After lunch we went back to Mr. Granite's class. He was talking about recycling paper when the school secretary, Mrs. Patty, made an announcement over the loudspeaker. "Mr. Granite, please send A.J. to Ms. Leakey's office." "Oooooooooooh, A.J.'s in trouble!" said Ryan. "I told you not to eat that Twinkie, dude," said Michael. "Maybe Arlo will get kicked out of school!" said Andrea. She was rubbing her hands together. That's what people do when they want something really badly. Why can't a truck full of Twinkies fall on Andrea's head?

午饭后，我们回到格拉尼特先生的教室。 他正在谈论回收废纸的事，这时学校秘书帕蒂夫人通过扩音器宣布了一件事。 格拉尼特先生，请派A.J.来 去利基女士的办公室。”“Oooooooooooh A.J.他有麻烦了！”瑞恩说。 “我告诉过你不要吃那个奶油蛋糕，伙计，”迈克尔说。 “也许阿乐会被学校开除！”安德烈说。 她在搓双手。 当人们非常想要某样东西的时候就会这么做。 为什么一卡车奶油蛋糕不能砸到安德里亚的头上？

I didn't want to go to Ms. Leakey's office. You know where I wanted to go? Antarctica. I wanted to run away and live with the penguins. Penguins are cool. Nobody tells penguins they can't eat Twinkies.

我不想去找。 利基的办公室。你知道我想去哪里吗？ 南极洲。我想逃跑，和企鹅一起生活。 企鹅很酷。没人告诉企鹅不能吃夹心蛋糕。

I walked really slowly down the hall. When I opened the door to Ms. Leakey's office, she wasn't in there. I looked around. It was a weird office. There was a treadmill, an organ, a bunch of plants, a giant metal box that looked like a coffin, a hot tub, and a punching bag hanging from the ceiling! Suddenly, the strangest thing in the history of the world happened. That giant box opened up, and a monster popped out! "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!" I screamed. The monster pulled a mask off its face. It wasn't a monster after all. It was Ms. Leakey! "Hi, A.J.!" she said. "Why were you lying in a metal box with a mask on your face?" I asked.

我慢慢地走过大厅。 当我打开门时，mrs。 利基的办公室，她不在里面。 我环顾四周。那是一个奇怪的办公室。 有一台跑步机，一个风琴，一堆植物，一个看起来像棺材的巨大金属盒子，一个热水浴缸，天花板上挂着一个沙袋！突然间，世界历史上最奇怪的事情发生了。 那个巨大的盒子打开了，一个怪物蹦了出来！“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh !”我尖叫起来。 怪物从脸上扯下面具。 它根本就不是怪物。 是利基女士！“嗨，aj !”她说。 “你为什么躺在一个金属盒子里，脸上戴着面具？”我问。

"Oh, this is my hyperbaric chamber," she said. "I was breathing pure oxygen. It's good for the lungs." "A hyper-what?" I asked. "Where do you get one of those things?" "From Rent-A-Hyperbaric Chamber," she said. "You can rent anything."

“哦，这是我的高压氧舱，”她说。 “我呼吸的是纯氧。 这对肺有好处。”“肥厚什么?”我问。 “你从哪儿弄来的？”“从Rent-A-Hyperbaric Chamber，”她说。 “你可以租任何东西。”

I looked at the row of plants under the window. "Why do you have a farm in your office?" I asked. "I grow all my own food," she told me. "It's organic." I guess that means she plays the organ while her food grows. That's weird. "What's with the hot tub?" I asked. "It's not a hot tub," Ms. Leakey told me. "It's an endless pool. I swim laps in it." "Really short laps, huh?" I said. "The endless pool has a current, like a river," Ms. Leakey told me. "The water shoots past you so you swim in one place. You can swim forever." That made no sense at all. Who wants to swim forever without going anywhere? Ms. Leakey got up out of her weird box. "Would you like some trail mix, A.J.?"

我看着窗下的那排植物。 “你办公室里为什么有个农场？”我问。 “我的食物都是自己种的，”她告诉我。 “这是有机的。”我猜这意味着她在食物生长的同时弹奏风琴。 这是奇怪的。“热水浴缸是怎么回事？”我问。 “这不是热水浴缸，”利基告诉我。 “这是一个没有尽头的游泳池。我在里面游几圈。” “真的很短，是吧？”我说。 “无尽的池塘有一股水流，就像一条河。” 利基告诉我的。“水从你身边掠过，所以你只能在一个地方游泳。 你可以永远游下去。”这完全说不通。 谁想永远游泳不去任何地方？ 利基女士从她奇怪的盒子里站了起来。 “你想来点什锦干果吗，aj ”

she said, holding out a bag to me. I looked inside the bag. The stuff looked gross. "No thanks," I said. "I don't want to eat trail." "It's nuts and fruits and berries," said Ms. Leakey. "All natural things. Trail mix is good for you." "That's why I don't want to eat it." "A.J.," Ms. Leakey said, "can I be frank with you?" "You can call yourself whatever you want, Frank," I told her. "I'm concerned about your diet," she said. "Tell me, are you getting three square meals a day at home?" "Well, sometimes my meals are round, Frank," I told her. "Like when we have pizza, or pancakes." Ms. Leakey just shook her head sadly.

她说着，把一个袋子递给我。 我往包里看了看。这东西看起来很恶心。 “不，谢谢，”我说。“我不想吃零食。” “它是坚果、水果和浆果，”她说。 利基。“都是自然的东西。 什锦干果对你有好处。” “这就是为什么我不想吃它。” “a.j.，”利基女士说，“我能跟你说实话吗？”“你想怎么称呼自己都行，弗兰克，”我对她说。 “我很担心你的饮食，”她说。 “告诉我，你在家一日三餐都吃得饱吗？”“嗯，有时候我的饭是圆的，弗兰克，”我告诉她。 “就像我们吃披萨或煎饼一样。” 利基女士只是悲伤地摇了摇头。