4. The Perfect Food

Chapter 4 The Perfect Food Soon it was time for lunch in the vomitorium. Me and the guys sat at our usual table. Andrea and her girlie friends sat at the next table so they could bother us. Michael had a ham sandwich. Ryan bought the school lunch, which is disgusting. He'll eat anything, even stuff that isn't food. My mom packed me a peanut butter sandwich and a Twinkie. "Do you think we would really get strong if we ate more fruits and veggies?" asked Neil the nude kid. "It would be cool to be strong like Ms. Leakey," said Michael. "Then we could sword fight with lots of bad guys dressed like food and beat everybody at arm wrestling." "I ate a piece of asparagus once," I told

很快，到了在食堂吃午饭的时间了。 我和其他人坐在老桌子旁。 安德里亚和她的女朋友们坐在邻桌，这样她们就可以打扰我们了。 迈克尔吃了一个火腿三明治。 学校午餐是瑞安买的，太恶心了。 他什么都吃，甚至不是食物的东西。 我妈妈给我准备了花生酱三明治和奶油夹心蛋糕。 “你认为如果我们吃更多的水果和蔬菜，我们真的会变得强壮吗？”裸体小孩尼尔问。 “如果能像她一样坚强，那就太酷了。 利基。”迈克尔说。“然后我们就可以和很多穿得像食物的坏人斗剑，扳手腕打败所有人。” “我曾经吃过一片芦笋，”我告诉他

the guys. "It was gross. I thought I was gonna die." That's when Little Miss Know-It-All at the next table turned around. "Ms. Leakey is right, you know," Andrea said. "Eating healthy food is good for your body." When Andrea turned back around, we all made faces at her. "Ms. Leakey is weird," said Ryan. "Why do you think she's always running out of the room?" "She needs to go exercise," said Michael. "She's obsessed with exercise." I finished my sandwich and peeled the wrapper off my Twinkie. I don't know if you've ever eaten a Twinkie, but it is the best food in the history of the world. I could eat Twinkies all day long. Well, not in the shower. That would be weird. But Twinkies

的家伙。“太恶心了。我以为我要死了。” 就在这时，邻桌的万事通小姐转过身来。 “你知道，利基女士是对的，”安德里亚说。 “吃健康的食物对身体有好处。” 当安德里亚转过身来时，我们都对她做了鬼脸。 “利基女士很奇怪，”瑞安说。 “你觉得她为什么总是跑出房间？”“她需要去锻炼，”迈克尔说。 “她痴迷于运动。” 我吃完三明治，剥下夹心蛋糕的包装纸。 我不知道你是否吃过奶油夹心蛋糕，但它是世界历史上最好的食物。 我可以一整天都吃Twinkies。 不是在洗澡的时候。那会很奇怪。 但夹馅面包

are the perfect food. I was about to put the Twinkie in my mouth when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. "STOP!" a voice shouted. It was Ms. Leakey! She came running full speed into the vomitorium like she was in the Olympics. She appeared out of nowhere! She must have a Twinkie detector or something. "DROP THAT TWINKIE!" Ms. Leakey screamed as she grabbed my hand. The Twinkie was an inch from my mouth. "But I'm hungry!" I complained. "Do you know what that thing is made of?" asked Ms. Leakey. "Uh, golden sponge cake with creamy filling?" "No!" she shouted. "Dextrose! Sodium

都是完美的食物。我正要把奶油蛋糕放进嘴里，这时发生了世界上最奇怪的事情。 “停下！”一个声音喊道。是她。 李基!她全速跑进体育馆，就像参加奥运会一样。 她不知从哪里冒出来的！她肯定有奶油蛋糕探测器什么的。 “放下那块奶油蛋糕！”利基女士抓着我的手尖叫起来。 奶油蛋糕离我的嘴只有一英寸。 “可我饿了！”我抱怨道。 “你知道那东西是什么做的吗？” 利基。“呃，奶油夹心的金色海绵蛋糕？”“不！”她喊道。 “葡萄糖!钠

acid pyrophosphate! Diglycerides! Polysorbate 60! Partially hydrogenated animal shortening! You want to put all those chemicals into your body?" The Twinkie was still an inch from my mouth. I looked at it. Then I looked at Ms. Leakey. Then I looked at the Twinkie again. Then I looked at Ms. Leakey again. "Eat it, A.J.," whispered Ryan. "She can't tell you what to do." "Don't eat it, A.J.," said Michael. "Eat it, A.J.," whispered Neil the nude kid. "Don't eat it, Arlo," said Andrea. I was faced with the hardest decision of my life. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. I had to think fast. I was concentrating so hard that my brain hurt. And then I leaned forward and took a bite of the Twinkie. Ms. Leakey grabbed my

酸式焦磷酸钠!双甘酯!吐温60 !部分氢化动物起酥油！你想把所有这些化学物质都放进你的身体里吗？”奶油夹心蛋糕离我的嘴还有一英寸。 我看着它。然后我看了看她。 利基。然后我又看了看奶油蛋糕。 然后我又看了看利基女士。 “吃吧，a.j.。”瑞恩小声说。 “她不能告诉你该怎么做。” “别吃它，a.j.，”迈克尔说。 “吃吧，aj，”裸体小孩尼尔小声说。 “别吃它，阿乐，”安德烈说。 我面临着一生中最艰难的决定。 我不知道该怎么办。我不知道该说什么。 我必须快速思考。我太专注了，以至于大脑受伤了。 然后我倾身向前，咬了一口奶油蛋糕。 利基女士抓住了我的

upper and lower teeth with her hands and tried to pull them apart. "Spit out the Twinkie, A.J.!" she screamed. "Stop this junk food madness!" "But I love sodium acid pyrophosphate!" I yelled. I managed to swallow that bite of Twinkie, but Ms. Leakey grabbed the rest of it out of my lunch box. Then she jumped up on top of our table.

她用手把上牙和下牙扯开。 “把奶油蛋糕吐出来，A.J.!”她尖叫道。 “别再吃垃圾食品了！”“但我喜欢酸焦磷酸钠！”我喊道。 我总算咽下了那口奶油蛋糕，但是。 利基从我的午餐盒里拿走了剩下的。 然后她跳到我们的桌子上。

"Do you kids know that the average person eats fifty pounds of cookies and cake

“孩子们，你们知道平均每个人要吃掉50磅的饼干和蛋糕吗