10. Junk Food Junkies

Chapter 10 Junk Food Junkies Ella Mentry School was getting healthy. Disgustingly healthy! Every day, Mr. Granite told us we were more alert in class, we were standing up straighter, and we were full of energy. There were no more soda machines in the school. No candy was allowed. Our lunch lady, Ms. LaGrange, was preparing healthy meals. Our moms and dads were packing lunches for us that were filled with fruits, nuts, vegetables, and other yucky stuff. Our custodian, Miss Lazar, put a sign in front of the school that said SUGAR– FREE ZONE. You weren't even allowed to have your parents bring in cupcakes on your birthday anymore.

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It was horrible! "These tofu hot dogs are delicious!" said Little Miss Perfect while we were eating lunch in the vomitorium. "I feel so much healthier since Ms. Leakey arrived." "Me too," said Emily, who always agrees with everything Andrea says.

"I wish I had a candy bar," said Michael. "I heard Ms. Leakey is trying to pass a law that will make it illegal to be caught with sugar packets," said Ryan. "I heard she hijacked a truck full of Doritos so it couldn't come into town," I said. "Health teachers can't do that," said Neil the nude kid. "People should be allowed to make up their own minds about what to eat." "Yeah!" "Y'know, maybe Ms. Leakey isn't a health teacher at all," I said. "Did you ever think of that?" "What do you mean?" asked Ryan. "Maybe Ms. Leakey murdered our real health teacher," I told them. "Arlo, stop trying to scare Emily," said Andrea.

"I'm scared!" said Emily. "Ms. Leakey is probably the evil twin of our real health teacher," I said. "She killed her sister, and I bet she buried her in the farm she's got in her office. Stuff like that happens all the time, you know." "We've got to do something!" shouted Emily. And then she went running out of the vomitorium. Sheesh, get a grip! That girl will fall for anything. "I need candy," said Michael. "I would pay a million dollars for a Kit Kat right now," I said. "I would sell my little brother for just one gummi bear," said Neil. We were all candy deprived and depressed. But that's when I got the greatest idea in the history of the world. "Hey!" I said. "I know where we can get

some candy!" "Where?" asked Ryan. "Follow me." I scraped off my tray into the garbage can. Then I led the guys out the door into the playground. Even Andrea came along. It was recess, and kids were all over the playground. I led the gang over to the corner where the Dumpster is kept. "That's where Ms. Leakey has been throwing our junk food," I said, pointing at the Dumpster. "Of course!" said Ryan. "There must be lots of candy in there!" "You're a genius, A.J.!" said Michael. "You should get the No Bell Prize." "I don't know why we didn't think of this before!" said Neil the nude kid. "Dumpster diving is fun." "I'm not eating candy out of a