1. Health Nuts

Ms. Leaky Is Freaky!

Leaky女士很古怪！

Chapter 1 Health Nuts My name is A.J. and I hate school. I go to Ella Mentry School. It was named after an old lady named Ella Mentry. Every time I tell somebody I go to Ella Mentry School, they always ask, "Which one?" "I told you," I say. "Ella Mentry School." "Everybody goes to elementary school," they always say. "No they don't," I tell them. "Yes they do." See what I mean? If you ask me, it would have been a lot smarter if they named my school after somebody famous, like George Washington or Lady Gaga.

第一章健康坚果我叫A.J. 我讨厌学校。我在艾拉门特里学校上学。 它是以一位名叫艾拉·门特里的老妇人的名字命名的。 每次我告诉别人我上的是艾拉门特里学校，他们总是问，“哪所？”“我告诉过你，”我说。 “艾拉门特瑞学校。”“每个人都要上小学，”他们总是说。 “不，他们没有，”我告诉他们。 “是的，他们有。”明白我的意思了吗？ 如果你问我，我会说，如果他们用名人的名字来命名我的学校，比如乔治·华盛顿或Lady Gaga，那就聪明多了。

My teacher is Mr. Granite, who is from another planet. It was Monday morning. Mr. Granite said we had to go to an assembly. I sat with my friends Michael, Ryan, and Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes. In front of us sat crybaby Emily and Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair that I hate. After we pledged the allegiance, our principal, Mr. Klutz, climbed up on the stage. He has no hair at all. Mr. Klutz used to have hair, but it fell out. That's what happens when guys get old. I wonder if he still has his hair in a plastic bag at home so he can look at it and remember what it was like to be young. Everybody was talking. So Mr. Klutz made a peace sign with his fingers, which

我的老师是花岗岩先生，他来自另一个星球。 那是星期一的早晨。格拉尼特先生说我们得去参加集会。 我和我的朋友迈克尔、瑞安和尼尔坐在一起，我们管他叫裸体小孩，尽管他穿着衣服。 坐在我们前面的是爱哭的艾米丽和安德里亚·杨，我讨厌这个长着棕色卷发的讨厌女孩。 在我们宣誓效忠后，我们的校长克鲁茨先生爬上了舞台。 他根本没有头发。克鲁茨先生以前有头发，但是掉了。 男人老了就会这样。 我想知道他是否还把他的头发放在家里的塑料袋里，这样他就可以看着它，回忆起他年轻时的样子。 每个人都在说话。所以克鲁茨先生用手指做了个和平手势

means "Shut up!" We all stopped talking. "Kids today eat too much junk food," he told us. "Too much fat and too much sugar. And you don't get enough exercise. That's why I hired Ms. Leakey, our new health teacher. She would like to say a few words." Ms. Leakey came bounding up on the stage like she was in a race or something. We gave her a round of applause by clapping our hands in big circles. She was holding a garbage can cover in one hand and a sword in the other hand. That was weird. "Thank you," Ms. Leakey said. "I'd like to introduce you to my best friends. I hope they'll become your best friends too." Our media specialist, Mrs. Roopy, came out from behind the curtain. Only she wasn't dressed like a media specialist. She was wearing a big banana costume.

意思是“闭嘴！”我们都不说话了。 “现在的孩子吃了太多的垃圾食品，”他告诉我们。 “太多的脂肪和糖。 而且你没有得到足够的锻炼。 所以我雇了利基老师，我们的新健康老师。 她想说几句话。” 利基女士蹦蹦跳跳地走上舞台，好像在赛跑似的。 我们围成一个大圈，向她报以热烈的掌声。 她一手拿着垃圾桶盖，一手拿着剑。 这很奇怪。“谢谢你。” 李基说。“我想把你介绍给我最好的朋友。 我希望他们也能成为你最好的朋友。” 我们的媒体专家鲁比夫人从幕布后面走了出来。 只是她穿得不像个媒体专家。 她穿着一件大香蕉服装。

Then our reading specialist, Mr. Macky, came out. He was dressed up like a giant peanut. Behind Mr. Macky was our school nurse, Mrs. Cooney. She had on a carrot costume. And all three of them were holding swords. It was a real Kodak moment. Suddenly, they all started singing… "Veggies are so good for you Nuts have lots of protein.

然后我们的阅读专家麦基先生出来了。 他打扮得像个大花生。 麦基先生后面是我们学校的护士库尼太太。 她穿着胡萝卜戏服。 他们三个人都拿着剑。 这是一个真正的柯达时刻。 突然，他们开始唱歌：“蔬菜对你有好处，坚果有很多蛋白质。

Fruits are fun to peel and chew Someday we'll join a pro team. Drink your milk every day Eat carrots for your eyes Build strong bodies every way And get lots of exercise!" While they were singing, our Spanish teacher, Miss Holly, our speech teacher, Miss Laney, and our security guard, Officer Spence, came out from behind the curtain on the other side of the stage. They were dressed up like a candy bar, a can of soda, and a donut. And they all had swords. "Check out those health nuts!" said Miss Holly. "That song is really lame," said Miss Laney. "Fruits and veggies are for losers!" said Officer Spence.

水果削皮和咀嚼都很有趣，总有一天我们会加入职业团队。 每天喝牛奶，吃胡萝卜保护眼睛，各方面都要强壮，多做运动！”当他们唱歌的时候，我们的西班牙语老师霍莉小姐、我们的演讲老师兰尼小姐和我们的保安斯宾塞警官从舞台另一边的幕布后面走了出来。 他们打扮得像一个糖果棒、一罐苏打水和一个甜甜圈。 他们都有剑。“看看那些健康狂人！”霍莉小姐说。 “那首歌真差劲，”兰尼小姐说。 “水果和蔬菜是失败者的东西！”斯宾塞警官说。