10 Pizza Toppings

Chapter 10 Pizza Toppings "The lady from The Guinness Book of World Records is here!" Mrs. Patty announced over the loudspeaker. "And so is Channel 7 News!" Everybody was even more excited when two vans pulled up to the school driveway. The Channel 7 News team got out with cameras and microphones and stuff. We all ran over to greet the lady from The Guinness Book of World Records. "Chip chip cheerio, old chap,"5 she said as she shook hands with Mr. Tony. "So where is this extremely large pizza I heard so much about?" "Follow me," Mr. Tony said. "I can't wait to see it," said the Guinness lady. "I have seen some pretty big pizzas in

my time, but—" She never got the chance to finish her sentence because suddenly there was a loud rumbling sound over the playground. "What's that?" Andrea asked. "Look, up in the air!" yelled Ryan. "It's a bird!" yelled Michael. "It's a plane!" yelled Neil the nude kid. "No, it's a parachuting ape!" I yelled. It was true. High above our heads, an ape was floating down over the school under a big white parachute. The Channel 7

News team pointed their cameras up in the air. "It's not an ape," yelled Andrea. "It's Mr. Klutz in an ape suit!" Andrea was right! And he was coming down directly over our heads! Everybody was yelling, screaming, freaking out, and waving their arms trying to signal Mr. Klutz. "No! Not here!" we were yelling. "Not here!" Mr. Klutz was coming down right over the pizza! "Run for your lives!" shouted Neil the nude kid. "Watch out!" "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" That's when Mr. Klutz hit the ground, right in the middle of our pizza. Splllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttt. It was a real Kodak moment. Everybody

came running over to the edge of the pizza. "Glub glub!" Mr. Klutz yelled. "Help! I can't swim!" "He's drowning in tomato sauce!" Emily shouted. "We've got to do something!" "I'll save you!" shouted Mr. Tony. He dived headfirst into the middle of the pizza. Mr. Klutz was flailing all over the place like a fish on the bottom of a boat. Mr. Tony kept trying to grab him, but they were both

covered with tomato sauce, and they were just slipping and sliding all over the pizza. You should have been there! Mr. Klutz was freaking out. We saw it live and in person. He had cheese all over his bald head. And Mr. Tony was full of baloney! "I say, old chaps," said the Guinness lady, "why are those blokes wrestling in your giant pizza?" "The guy with the mustache is our after- school program director," I told her, "and the bald guy with cheese on his head is our principal."

"Ah, I see," said the Guinness lady. "Pizza-wrestling must be some sort of strange American tradition, like baseball." Finally, Mr. Tony was able to pull Mr. Klutz off the pizza. The two of them were a mess. "Who put that giant pizza in the middle of the playground?" asked Mr. Klutz as he wiped tomato sauce off his face. "We did," Mr. Tony told him. "We made it so we could get into The Guinness Book of World Records. Why did you land on our pizza?" "It was windy," Mr. Klutz said. "I saw the big red circle down below me. I got confused. I thought it was the circle on the roof of the school. From up in the air, it looked like a target." "It's not a target!" Mr. Tony explained. "It's the biggest pizza in the world!"