4 Bog Snorkeling and Cheese Rolling

Chapter 4 Bog Snorkeling and Cheese Rolling After Mr. Klutz left, Zack came out of the cloakroom. "Thanks, dude," he told Mr. Granite. "If old man Klutz finds out I'm here with Mary, he'll have me bloody head." "I don't see any blood on your head," I told Zack. "People in England say the word 'bloody' all the time, Arlo," Andrea told me. "Zack just means that Mr. Klutz will be angry if he finds him here with Miss Mary." That's sure a weird way to say it. "I thought people in England were always saying 'Chip, chip, cheerio, old chap,'" said Michael. "I saw that in a movie."

"Nobody ever says 'Chip, chip, cheerio,'" said Miss Mary. "I guess we have a lot to learn about England," said Mr. Granite. "Does everybody in England dress like you two?" asked Ryan. "Or are those your Halloween costumes?" "This is how I always dress," said Zack. "My favorite color is black." "Mine too," said Miss Mary. "I love black spiders and insects. They're my friends. Back home I have a black bat named Roger." Miss Mary is scary. "Black isn't even a color," said Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes. "How did your pants get ripped like that?" asked Emily. "Did you get caught climbing a fence?" "Oh no. I used a pair of scissors," said

*Miss Mary. "Don't my pants look fierce?" "I could darn them for you," Andrea told her. "I took a sewing class after school last year." "No thanks," said Zack and Miss Mary. "Maybe you'd like to tell the children a little bit about what life is like in England," suggested Mr. Granite. We all crowded around Miss Mary and Zack. "Well, my friends and I really love to go bog snorkeling," Zack said. "Bog snorkeling?" asked Neil. "What's that?" "It's when you snorkel through a bog," Zack told us. "My friends and I love cheese rolling," said Miss Mary. "Let me guess," I said. "You roll cheese?"

"Yes!" said Miss Mary. "It happens on the Spring Bank Holiday. The cheese roller will roll a round cheese down a hill, and we all chase it. The winner is the first person to grab the cheese." "It sounds very dangerous," said Andrea. "Oh, it is," said Miss Mary. "One time I got a bloody nose." "But your nose wasn't really bloody, right?" I asked. "You just say the word

'bloody' all the time." "No, my nose really was bloody," Miss Mary said. "Of course it was bloody, Arlo!" Andrea told me. I guess if it wasn't bloody, Miss Mary would have just gotten a nose. And that wouldn't make any sense. You can't get a nose. Everybody already has a nose. I was confused. "Hey, I gotta split, man," said Zack. "I'm working on a new song with my band, Fish Food." "Oooh, what's the song called?" asked Emily. "It's called 'I Love Dirt,'" Zack replied. What?! Who writes songs about dirt? Zack climbed out the window and left. People from England are weird.