3 Miss Mary Is Weird

Chapter 3 Miss Mary Is Weird Mr. Klutz has a daughter? I knew he was married to a lady named Mrs. Klutz. But I didn't know they had kids. Mr. Klutz told us that a long time ago, before he was married to Mrs. Klutz, he was married to some other lady in England and they had a baby. So Miss Mary grew up in England and came to America for a year to do her student teaching. "Isn't she lovely?" he said. "Yes!" we all lied. Nobody wanted to tell Mr. Klutz that his daughter looked weird. "Well, I have to go to a meeting," Mr. Klutz said. "Mary, I'm so glad you decided to become a teacher and help educate the youth of America so they can pursue their hopes and dreams."

"Yeah, whatever," said Miss Mary. "I'll stop back in a little while to see how you're making out," Mr. Klutz said before he left. Ugh, disgusting! Mr. Klutz said "making out"! Mr. Granite had a frowny face. He looked like he didn't want to have a student teacher. "So, Miss Mary," he said, "what made you decide to become a teacher?" "Well, it's like, the kids, y'know," she said. "They're so, I don't know. Kidlike. You know? Yeah, and when you're a teacher, you get the summer off, right? That's cool." People from England talk funny. Miss Mary sounded like she should be in a Harry Potter movie. "Yes, I do get the summer off," Mr. Granite said. "But most people become

teachers for other reasons, like…" He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence because suddenly loud music started playing. Everybody looked around to see where it was coming from. "Hang on," Miss Mary said. "It's my bloody cell phone." "Your cell phone is covered with blood?" I asked. "I gotta take this," Mary said. "It's my boyfriend, Zack." Mr. Granite looked mad. Cell phones aren't allowed in school. But I guess he couldn't do anything about it, because Miss Mary is Mr. Klutz's daughter. "Yo! What up, dude?" Miss Mary said into the phone. "I'm at Daddy's school…. I miss you, too, Zack…. Okay, gotta go…. Later." "Are you quite finished?" asked Mr.

Granite. "I'd like to do our math lesson." "Yeah," Miss Mary said. "Zack is back home in England. He says he's coming over here even though his parents don't like me." "Gee, I wonder why," Mr. Granite said. "Okay, open your math books to page twenty-three, shall we?" We all opened our math books. "Zack is in an awesome band called Fish Food," Miss Mary said. "They totally rock." "Music is my favorite thing!" said

Andrea. "I love the Jonas Brothers." "Me too!" said Emily, who loves everything that Andrea loves. "Zack is into heavy metal," said Miss Mary. "He wears a suit of armor?" I asked. "Heavy metal is a kind of music, dumbhead," said Andrea, rolling her eyes. "I knew that," I lied. "Zack is a genius," Miss Mary said. "He'll be famous someday. We want to get married. But Daddy won't let us. He says Zack can't earn a living by playing music." Mr. Granite's face was all red. He doesn't like it when we get off task. But it didn't matter, because that's when something really weird happened. A guy climbed in the window! Everybody was freaking out. The guy was dressed all in black, just like Mary.

"Zack!" yelled Miss Mary. "Mary!" yelled Zack. "I thought you called from England!" Miss Mary said. "No, I was right around the corner," said Zack. "I love you!" "I love you, too!" Ugh. They said the L word! Miss Mary