2 The New Student Teacher

Chapter 2 The New Student Teacher Mr. Granite told us that it was his idea to install the new water-saving toilets. "Every time you flush a toilet," he said, "you use up to 5 gallons of water. So five flushes in a day would be… five times five—25 gallons of water a day…" Mr. Granite loves math. "…and that adds up to 175 gallons a week," Mr. Granite continued. "And 9,100 gallons a year. And do you know how many gallons of water you will flush down the toilet in your lifetime?" He didn't have the chance to answer the question, because at that moment the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. The door opened. Well, that's not the weird part because

格拉尼特先生告诉我们安装新的节水厕所是他的主意。 “每次冲厕所，”他说，“要用掉多达5加仑的水。 所以一天冲五次水就是…5乘以5 - 25加仑的水…”格拉尼特先生喜欢数学。 “……每周加起来就是175加仑，”格拉尼特继续说。 “每年9100加仑。 你知道你一生中要把多少加仑的水冲进厕所吗？”他没有机会回答这个问题，因为就在那一刻，世界历史上最奇怪的事情发生了。 门开了。这还不是奇怪的地方，因为

doors open all the time. But you'll never believe who walked into the door. Nobody, because if you walked into a door it would hurt. But you'll never believe who walked into the doorway. It was our principal, Mr. Klutz! He has no hair at all. I think Mr. Klutz used to have hair, but it fell out a long time ago. That's what happens when men get old. He held up his hand and made a peace sign, which means "shut up." "I have big news!" he told us. "Mr. Klutz has a big nose," I whispered to Ryan, who sits next to me. "What is it?" asked Andrea's crybaby friend, Emily. "You're going to get a student teacher!" Mr. Klutz announced. "Isn't that exciting?" "Yes!" said all the girls.

门一直开着。但你绝对不会相信谁走进来了。 没人，因为如果你撞到门会很疼的。 但你绝对不会相信谁走进了门口。 是我们的校长，克鲁茨先生！他根本没有头发。 我想克鲁茨先生以前是有头发的，但很久以前就掉了。 男人老了就会这样。 他举起手，做了一个和平的手势，意思是“闭嘴”。 “我有个大新闻！”他告诉我们。 “克鲁茨先生是个大鼻子，”我小声对坐在我旁边的瑞安说。 “怎么了？”安德里亚爱哭的朋友艾米丽问。 “你会得到一个学生老师！”克鲁茨宣布。 “这不是很令人兴奋吗？”“是的！”所有的女孩都说。

"No!" said all the boys. Wait a minute. Student teacher? That doesn't make any sense. "How can a student be a teacher?" I asked. "Or a teacher be a student? A person can either be a student or a teacher, but not both." "A student teacher is somebody who's learning how to be a teacher, dumbhead," said Andrea. "Oh, snap!" said Ryan. "So is your face," I told Andrea. Any time somebody says something mean to you and you can't think of what to say, just say, "So is your face." That's the first rule of being a kid. "What is our student teacher's name?" Andrea asked. "When will we meet her?" "Right now!" Mr. Klutz said. "Come on in here, Mary. Don't be shy. Kids, this is your

“不！”所有的男孩都说。等一下。 学生老师吗?这没有任何意义。 “学生怎么能当老师呢？”我问。 “或者老师是学生？” 一个人要么是学生，要么是老师，但不能两者兼而有之。” “实习老师就是学习如何当老师的人，笨蛋，”安德里亚说。 “哦，糟了！”瑞恩说。“你的脸也是，”我告诉安德里亚。 任何时候，如果有人对你说了刻薄的话，而你又不知道该说什么，就说：“你的脸也是这样。” 这是当孩子的第一准则。 “我们的实习老师叫什么名字？”安德里亚问道。 “我们什么时候能见到她？”“现在!”克鲁茨说。 “进来吧，玛丽。不要害羞。 孩子们，这是你们的

new student teacher, Miss Mary." A lady came in. She looked weird. She had black hair, black clothes, black eye makeup, and a tattoo of a black bat on her arm. There was a purple streak in her hair. She had holes in her pants and earbuds in her ears. She was chewing gum and bobbing

新来的学生老师，玛丽小姐。” 一位女士走了进来。她看起来很奇怪。 她有黑色的头发，黑色的衣服，黑色的眼妆，手臂上有一个黑色蝙蝠的纹身。 她的头发上有一缕紫色。 她的裤子上有洞，耳朵上有耳塞。 她一边嚼口香糖一边蹦蹦跳跳

her head up and down to the music. Mr. Granite didn't look very happy when he saw Miss Mary. "Yo," she said as she took out one of her earbuds. "What up?" "Yo," we all replied. "Miss Mary is going to be a great teacher," Mr. Klutz told us. "Do you know how I know she'll be so good?" "How?" we all asked. "Because," Mr. Klutz said as he put his arm around her, "Mary is my daughter." WHAT?!

她的头随着音乐上下摆动。 格拉尼特先生看到玛丽小姐时，显得不太高兴。 “哟，”她一边说一边拿出一个耳塞。 “什么?”“哟，”我们都回答。 “玛丽小姐会成为一名好老师的，”克鲁茨先生告诉我们。 “你知道我怎么知道她会这么好吗？”“怎么做？”我们都问。 “因为，”克鲁兹一边搂着她一边说，“玛丽是我的女儿。” 什么? !