11 Halloween

Chapter 11 Halloween Zack and Miss Mary decided to get married on Halloween, and Mr. Klutz said they could have the wedding right in our school playground. He even got our crossing guard, Mr. Louie, to marry them because he used to be a judge. It was a great day. All the teachers and parents were there. Even the vacuum cleaner guy was there. All the kids, of course, came to school in their costumes.

First we had a big parade around the block. There were cowboys, and pumpkins, and spacemen, and superheroes, and witches, and goblins. All the parents were taking pictures and videos. Then we had a big candy party in the playground. I stuffed my face with chocolate. After the party Mr. Klutz told everybody

to sit down on chairs that were set up near the monkey bars. I sat with the guys. Andrea and her girly friends sat in the row behind us. Mr. Louie stood in front of everybody. Zack marched halfway down the aisle next to Mr. Klutz. They were all dressed up in black tuxedos. Then our music teacher, Mr. Loring, started playing that "Here Comes the Bride" song on an organ. Miss Mary came down the aisle in a white gown. Yes, it was white! All the girls were oohing and ahhing at how pretty she looked. Zack took Miss Mary's hand, and they walked the rest of the way down the aisle together. Everybody got quiet. You could hear a pin drop. "Dearly beloved," Mr. Louie said, "we are gathered here today to join this man and

this woman in blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…" He said a bunch of lovey-dovey stuff, but I wasn't paying attention. Mr. Louie went on and on for like a million hundred minutes, until he finally said… "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Zack and Miss Mary started smooching. It was a real Kodak moment, even though kissing is disgusting. "Isn't this romantic, Arlo?" Andrea whispered to me. "Maybe when we grow up, you and I will get married."

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"Over my dead body," I replied. "Oooooh!" Ryan said. "A.J. just agreed to marry Andrea after he's dead! They must be in love!" "When is your dead body gonna get married?" asked Michael. After the wedding was over, Mr. Klutz got up on the stage. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce my favorite band… Fish Food!" Zack and his band got up onstage. "I love dirt! I love dirt! I love dirt! I love dirt!" Zack started chanting. We all started chanting "I love dirt" while Zack rapped the rest of the song. He was running around and jumping up and down. It was cool. Zack handed the microphone to Mr. Klutz, and he started yelling into it: