7 Why Is There a Square on My Head

Chapter 7 Why Is There a Square on My Head? There was only one bad thing about the last day of school. We had to come back after dinner for graduation! Bummer in the summer!* My mom made me wear a tie. What's up with that? Why do boys have to wear this thing around their necks? Whoever thought up that idea should get the No Brain Award. That's an award they give out to people who don't have brains. My dad helped me tie my tie while my mom combed my hair. "You look so handsome!" my mom gushed, and she got all sniffly the way girls do.

"I expect you to be on your best behavior tonight, A.J.," my dad warned. "Nothing must go wrong." I didn't even do anything wrong yet and already I was getting blamed! What could possibly go wrong, anyway? It was just a graduation. We drove to school. Dad parked the car and we walked to the playground. Mrs. Dole and Andrea's mom were standing at the gate, greeting everyone. As soon as we got inside the playground, I knew this was not going to be a normal graduation. There was a big stage set up with lights and a long banner that said CONGRATULATIONS, GRADUATES! Balloons were all over the place. And behind the stage was something really weird—a petting zoo, with goats and chickens and cows and bales of hay.

"Is all this really necessary?" my mom asked Mrs. Dole. "With all due respect, what does a petting zoo have to do with graduating?" "It represents the diversity of life on our fragile planet," Mrs. Dole replied. "As they grow up, children need to respect our animal friends." I didn't know what she was talking about, but it was cool to see goats and chickens and cows in the playground. Andrea's mom rolled her eyes. The teachers were sitting in the front row. I waved hello to Ms. Hannah, Mr. Docker, Mrs. Roopy, Miss Small, Ms. Coco, and all

the others. Some of them were already sniffly and blowing their noses in tissues. Mrs. Dole told the parents to sit down and the kids to go to the gym. When I got there, the guys had on ties, just like me. The girls had on party dresses. We had to put on the paper caps we made, and gowns too. I didn't want to wear a dumb gown. Gowns are for girls. But everybody else was putting one on, so I guess it was okay. "Where did your mom get all those farm animals?" I asked Ryan. "You can rent anything," Ryan said. "I guess she went to Rent-a-Farm-Animal." After a million hundred hours, Mr. Loring started playing the graduation song on the accordion. Mrs. Dole told us it was time to march out to the playground.

I'm gra-ad-u-a-ting, There's a square on my head…. It was windy outside. I had to hold on to my cap so it wouldn't blow away. As we marched into the playground, our parents started clapping and taking pictures like we were movie stars. I sat between Michael and Ryan. "I hope my mom doesn't go overboard," Ryan whispered. I didn't think that would happen, because there weren't any boats around. Mrs. Dole walked onto the stage. There was a big bowl in front of her. It was about the

size of a garbage can cover, and it was on a little stand. "Welcome parents, teachers, and students!" Mrs. Dole announced. "Let's begin the ceremony by lighting the eternal flame." She took a lighter out of her pocket and lit something in the bowl in front of her. Flames shot up in the air. "This flame represents the eternal quest for knowledge that will forever burn within you," Mrs. Dole told us. I didn't know what she was talking about, but fire is cool. Maybe we would get to toast marshmallows later.