4 Everybody Loves Bonbons

Chapter 4 Everybody Loves Bonbons The next morning, we had to go to the all-purpose room for an assembly. Mr. Klutz got up onstage with Officer Spence, our school security guard. Officer Spence was wearing a fireman costume. "Today we're going to learn about fire safety," Mr. Klutz said. "Officer Spence is a trained firefighter." "Fire is very dangerous, kids," said Officer Spence. "Does anybody know what you should do if your clothes catch on fire?" I raised my hand, and Officer Spence pointed to me. "If your clothes catch on fire," I said, "you should buy new clothes." Everybody laughed even though I didn't say anything funny.

"Before you buy new clothes," said Officer Spence, "you should STOP, DROP, AND ROLL. Watch this." Officer Spence did the most amazing thing in the history of the world. He poured some stuff on his fireman costume. Then he took a lighter out of his pocket and set himself on fire! Officer Spence's fireman costume was full of flames! "STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!" shouted Mr. Klutz. "STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!" We all started chanting. Officer Spence threw himself on the ground and covered his nose. Then he rolled all over the stage until the fire was out.

Officer Spence makes no sense. He told us that we shouldn't go home and set ourselves on fire. We learned all kinds of other stuff about preventing fires too. Like you shouldn't ever set your brother or sister on fire. When we got back to class, Ryan's mom was waiting for us. Ryan hid under his desk. Andrea's mom was waiting for us too. Andrea sat up even straighter than usual (if

that's possible) and folded her hands so her mother would know how perfect she is. The two PTA moms told Mrs. Daisy that the class had a surprise for her. We all went to our cubbies to get our presents. Then we lined up and put them on Mrs. Daisy's desk. "I got you a box of bonbons," I told Mrs. Daisy. "Hey, I got her a box of bonbons too!" said Michael. "So did I!" said Emily. "Me too!" said Neil the nude kid. It turned out that just about everybody in class got Mrs. Daisy bonbons! That's a lot of bonbons. "Thank you so much," Mrs. Daisy said. "You know how much I love bonbons!" "Everybody loves bonbons," said Emily. "Why don't you open a box right now?" Michael suggested.

"Oh, I really shouldn't. I'm trying to eat healthier," Mrs. Daisy said. "Well, maybe just one." Andrea's mom passed out bonbons to everyone. While we ate them, Mrs. Dole went to the front of the class. "Part of my job as PTA president is to plan your graduation," she said. "You're going to wear caps and gowns, and there will be a guest speaker and a big cake, and you're going to get diplomas and—" "Is all that really necessary?" asked Andrea's mom. "With all due respect, the children are just moving up to third grade."* "Just moving up to third grade?" Mrs. Dole said. "This is an important milestone in the children's lives! Our babies are growing up so fast. Soon they'll be off to middle school. Before we know it, they'll be in high school. Then they'll be going off to

college and I won't see my little boy anymore…." Mrs. Dole started sobbing. Ryan looked like he was gonna die. I thought his mom might tell more stories about Ryan peeing. But she just blew her nose in a tissue and blubbered something about how much we grew since we were in kindergarten. Andrea's mom rolled her eyes. I don't