2 Ryan’s Mom Is Weird

Chapter 2 Ryan's Mom Is Weird Wow! Ryan's mom is the new PTA president! "Congratulations, Mrs. Dole," said Mr. Klutz. "I'm sure you'll do a great job." Mr. Klutz had to go to a meeting, so he left Ryan's mom to watch us.* Mrs. Dole looked a lot like Ryan, except that she's a lady—and old. When she walked into our class, Ryan hid under his desk. I couldn't blame him. That's what I would do if my mom walked into the class. Parents should never come into your class, unless it's your birthday and they're bringing cupcakes for everybody. That's the first rule of being a kid. "Wow, the president of the PTA is important," I whispered to Ryan. "That's

第二章瑞恩的妈妈很奇怪哇！瑞恩的妈妈是新的家长会主席！“祝贺你，多尔夫人，”克鲁兹先生说。 “我相信你会做得很好。” 克鲁茨先生要去开会，所以他留下瑞恩的妈妈照看我们。多尔夫人长得很像瑞恩，除了她是位老太太。 当她走进我们的教室时，瑞恩躲在桌子下面。 我不能怪他。如果我妈妈走进教室，我也会这么做。 父母永远不应该进入你的班级，除非那天是你的生日，他们给每个人都带了纸杯蛋糕。 这是当孩子的第一准则。 “哇，家长会主席很重要啊，”我小声对瑞安说。 “这是

almost like being president of the United States." Ryan slid farther under his desk. Andrea crossed her arms and said, "Humphf." Whenever somebody crosses their arms and says "Humphf," it means they're mad. Nobody knows why. "Good morning!" said Mrs. Dole. "Are you kids excited about the end of school?" "Yes!" said all the boys.

就像当美国总统一样。” 瑞安往桌子底下溜了。 安德烈交叉双臂说：“汉弗。” 每当有人交叉双臂说“汉弗”的时候，就意味着他们疯了。 没人知道为什么。“早上好！”多尔夫人说。 “孩子们，你们对放学感到兴奋吗？”“是的！”所有的男孩都说。

"No!" said all the girls. "Are you excited about moving up to third grade?" Mrs. Dole asked. "Yes!" said all the girls. "No!" said all the boys. "I was thinking. Wouldn't it be nice to give presents to Mrs. Daisy?" said Mrs. Dole. "She worked so hard for you all year. What would you like to give her?" "I'll give her a skateboard," I said. "That's what you want, Arlo!" Andrea said, rolling her eyes. "Try to think of something Mrs. Daisy would want," Mrs. Dole said. "What does she like more than anything?" "Flowers?" suggested Neil the nude kid. "Shoes?" said Michael. Suddenly I got the greatest idea in the history of the world.

“不！”所有的女孩都说。“要升到三年级了，你兴奋吗？”多尔夫人问。 “是的！”所有的女孩都说。 “不！”所有的男孩都说。我在想。 给黛西太太送礼物不是很好吗？”多尔太太说。 “她一整年都在为你努力工作。 你想送她什么？”“我要给她一个滑板，”我说。 “这就是你想要的，阿乐！”安德烈说，翻白眼。 “想想黛西太太会想要的东西，”多尔太太说。 “她最喜欢什么？”“花？”裸体小孩尼尔建议道。 “鞋子？”迈克尔说。突然间，我想到了世界历史上最伟大的主意。

"Bonbons!" I shouted. "Yeah! Bonbons!" everybody agreed. Bonbons are yummy chocolate treats. Mrs. Daisy eats them all the time. (Well, not while she's taking a shower. That would be weird.) She told us that she can eat a whole box of bonbons in one sitting. Everybody thought giving Mrs. Daisy bonbons was a great idea. Neil the nude kid said I should get the No Bell Prize. That's a prize they give out to people who don't have bells. "Okay. Your homework is to buy a present for Mrs. Daisy and bring it to school tomorrow," Mrs. Dole said. "Any questions?" "Are we going to get more homework in third grade?" asked Emily. "I'm not sure," Mrs. Dole said. "Next year you'll learn the multiplication tables,

“糖果!”我叫道。“是啊!棒棒糖！”大家一致同意。 棒棒糖是美味的巧克力点心。 黛西太太总是吃它们。 (嗯，在她洗澡的时候不会。 那会很奇怪。)她告诉我们她可以一口气吃下一整盒糖果。 每个人都认为给黛西太太糖果是个好主意。 裸男尼尔说我应该得无贝尔奖。 那是他们发给没有铃铛的人的奖品。 “好吧。你的家庭作业是给黛西夫人买一件礼物，明天带到学校来。”多尔夫人说。 “有什么问题吗?”“我们三年级的作业会更多吗？”艾米丽问。 “我不确定，”多尔夫人说。 “明年你要学乘法表，

and you're going to learn all about—" Mrs. Dole didn't get the chance to finish her sentence, because that's when the strangest thing in the history of the world happened. She started crying! "You kids are growing up so fast," Mrs. Dole blubbered. "I can hardly believe that my little baby Ryan is going to be a third grader. It seems like only yesterday he was in diapers." Everybody looked at Ryan, who was still hiding under his desk. "You wore diapers yesterday?" I asked him. Mrs. Dole continued. "I remember when all my baby Ryan could say was 'Goo-go-oga-ga,' and all he could do was pee. I had to wipe his little bottom for him. And now look at him." Everybody looked at Ryan. Mrs. Dole

多尔夫人没来得及说完这句话，因为世界历史上最奇怪的事情就发生了。 她开始哭了！“你们这些孩子长得真快，”多尔太太哭着说。 “我简直不敢相信我的小宝贝瑞安要上三年级了。 就像昨天他还穿着尿布一样。” 大家都看着瑞安，他还躲在桌子底下。 “你昨天穿尿布了？”我问他。 多尔夫人接着说。“我记得我的宝宝瑞安只会说‘googo -oga-ga’，他能做的就是尿尿。 我得帮他擦屁股。 现在你看看他。”每个人都看着瑞恩。 多尔夫人

grabbed a tissue from Mrs. Daisy's desk and blew her nose into it. Into the tissue, that is. Blowing your nose into a desk would be weird. "I'm sorry. I get so emotional over my baby," she said, and she ran out the door. "Is she gone?" Ryan asked. "Yeah, you can come out from under your desk now," Michael said. "Your mom is weird," I told Ryan. "I know," he replied. "She goes overboard a lot."

从黛西太太的桌子上抓起一张纸巾，擤了擤鼻子。 进入组织，就是这样。对着桌子擤鼻涕会很奇怪。 “我很抱歉。我为我的孩子感到非常激动，”她说着跑出了门。 “她走了吗？”瑞恩问道。 “是啊，你现在可以从桌子底下出来了。”迈克尔说。 “你妈妈很奇怪，”我告诉瑞恩。 “我知道，”他回答。“她经常走极端。”