08 The Secret of the Suspicious Sandwich

The Secret of the Suspicious Sandwich After school, Judy was sitting on her bed, chewing a pencil, trying to think of a plan. A green van plan. All of a sudden, she heard strange sounds coming from the bathroom. Splishing sounds. Splashing sounds. Flushing sounds. Gushing sounds. Was Stink giving Astro, his guinea pig, a bubble bath? Taking Toady surfing in the tub? She climbed down from her top bunk to investigate. Mouse followed her. "Stink, who's in the ba—?" But Stink wasn't in the tub. Stink was stuffing stuff down the

toilet! The Hulk, Iron Man, a rubber ducky, and Mouse's squeak toy. He poked it with his plastic lightsaber. Wheek! Wheek! Wheek-wheek-wheek! Mouse jumped up on the toilet to see. Judy peered into the toilet bowl. It was swimming with dead Goldfish. The cracker kind, that is. "Stink, what are you doing? Playing Superhero Tsunami in the toilet?" "Duh," said Stink. "What's it look like? I'm overflowing the toilet. Then we'll have a toilet emergency, and we'll have to call a plumber. The bad guys in the green van will come right to our house. We'll flush 'em out and rescue Mr. Chips! Get it?" "Genius!" said Judy. Just then, Stink flushed the toilet. Spew! Water sprayed up out of the toilet in a geyser and gushed all over the floor.

Judy leaped out of the way. Mouse sprang onto the rim of the bathtub. "Toilet emergency! Toilet emergency!" Stink yelled.

Mom and Dad came running up the stairs. "Judy," said Mom, "if this is another one of your Boston Tub Parties—" "Stink did it!" said Judy, pointing at her brother. "Mouse did it!" said Stink, pointing at the cat. "Out of the way, Stink, so I can turn off the water," said Dad, reaching behind the toilet. "We have to call a plumber!" said Stink. Judy tried to help. "We should call those guys Flush and Flo, or Push and Go, or Flash and Glo. The guys in the green van." Mom put on rubber gloves. She pulled Darth Vader out of the toilet. "We're not calling a plumber. Plumbers are very expensive." Dad plunged the toilet until the water went down.

"I don't know what you two were up to," said Dad, "but you kids are going to clean up this mess." Mom handed her rubber gloves to Judy. "Grab a bucket, Suds," said Judy. "I'll get the mop, and we'll clean up the scene of the crime." So much for the Judy Moody Detective Agency. It was more like the Mop and Bucket Brigade. As soon as the bathroom was sparkling clean, Judy and Stink ran outside to meet Rocky and Frank at the old manhole. "Somebody in this neighborhood has got to have a broken toilet for real," said Stink. "Let's knock on doors and ask," said Judy. "But if anybody wants your name, use a fake one, just in case. In The Thirteenth Pearl, Nancy

Drew uses the alias Nan Drewry." "I'll be James Madison. Judy, you be Elizabeth Blackwell." "Duh. Everybody knows we're not them," said Judy. "Okay, then I'll be James Madagascar," said Stink. "I'll be Liz Inkwell." "Spuds Houdini," said Rocky. "Dills Pickle," said Frank. Liz Inkwell rang bells. Dills Pickle knocked on doors. They asked, "Is your toilet broken?" But not one single house in the whole entire state of Virginia, it seemed, had a broken toilet. Not even a stopped-up sink or a semi-flooded basement. "We'll never find Mr. Chips," said Liz Inkwell.