04 A New Attitude

A New Attitude Judy could not wait to go back to college— three times a week! Getting tutored was crucial. Rare squared! In just two short weeks, Judy had a brand-new lease on life. She, Judy Moody, sashayed into the kitchen one morning before school. She was wearing a dress on top of jeans ripped at the knee, a teeny- tiny hoodie sweatshirt, monkey flip-flops, a crazy scarf, skinny glasses, half a gross of bracelets, and tattoo Band-Aids. "She must be in a play," said Stink. "That's ridonkulus," said Judy. "Unless you

mean the play of life." "How many shirts are you wearing?" Stink asked. "Is that my scarf?" Mom asked.

"I'm dressing for college," said Judy. "I have tutoring after school today, Kate." Chloe called grown-ups by their first names, so Judy tried it. "It's too cold for flip-flops," Mom said, frowning. "And you'll need a coat," Dad added. Parents. Parental Units. The 'Rents. Kate and Richard were so old skool. "College kids don't wear coats!" said Judy. "What do they wear?" asked Stink. "They wear whatever's their thing," said Judy. "So your thing is to dress like a clown?" Stink asked. Eesh! What an NCP. Nincompoop. "How's it going with Chloe, by the way?" Mom asked.

"Chloe is the bomb! She drives a green gecko Beetle called June Bug and has fake red hair and a toe ring and seven pierces." "Nobody needs that many extra holes in their head," said Dad. "What a Swiss Cheese Head!" said Stink. "I already have seven holes in my head. Two eyes plus two ears plus two nostrils plus one mouth equals seven." "Does this Chloe know any math?" Mom asked. "Does this Chloe have any flash cards?" asked Stink. "For your information, we don't use flash cards," said Judy. "But we do play Multiplication Bingo and Tic-Tac-Cookie with Oreos. We even made a giant Sponge-Block

Triangle Pants, and Chloe named him Turd Ferguson." Judy snorted. "It was so money." "I don't see what a sponge named Turd Ferguson has to do with math," said Stink. "Right, Mom? Right, Dad?" Fact of Life: Stink = annoying! "Stink, it's sponge blocks. They were invented by a kid. See, you add up all the lines and angles, and it makes a polygon. You can use triangles, rectangles, and squares, too." Mom raised her eyebrows at Dad. Dad raised his eyebrows at Mom. "Aw," said Stink. "Can I go to college, too?" Judy ignored him. "Chloe says you can't be afraid of math," she told Kate and Richard. "You just have to practice, like piano, or soccer. And you can't give up. And you have to

remember to have fun." "Well, I like your attitude," said Mom. "You mean my math-i-tude," said Judy, cracking herself up. "Chloe says math is everywhere. Math is life." "Then you better get going," said Mom. "Don't want to be late for life." On the way to school, Judy asked a question of her Ask-a-Question Watch 5000. Will Mr. Todd be back today? She pressed the green button. DON'T KNOW. She tried again. Will Mr. Todd be back today? CAN'T TELL. She tried a third time. Will Mr. Todd be back