06 Broken Records

Broken Records Judy studied her famous elbow in the mirror. She squished her elbow into a wrinkled happy face. She squinched her elbow into a mad face. If Judy ever hoped to be more famous than an elbow, she needed some help. Judy called all members of the Toad Pee Club. "Meet at the clubhouse," she told everybody. Rocky, Frank, and Judy crowded into the blue tent in her backyard. Last was Stink, who carried Toady, their mascot, in one hand, and walked while reading a book. "Stink, you better watch out or you'll renew your membership."

"OH!" said Stink. He tossed Toady into the

bucket before the toad famous for peeing in people's hands did it again. "Now," said Judy, "how can we make me famous?" "Let's think," Rocky said. "Stink, you're not thinking," said Judy. "Getting famous is boring," said Stink, leafing through his book. "Stink, what book could be soooooooooo interesting?" Stink held up the Guinness Book of World Records. Judy looked at Frank. Frank looked at Rocky. Rocky looked at Judy. "Brainstorm!" the three yelled at the same time. Then they cracked up. "Stink, you are a genius. The secret to getting famous is right there in your hands."

Stink checked his hands. "Don't you get it?" said Judy. "I could break a record and get in that book! Then I'd be superfamous." "Famous. Famous. Famous. YOU are a broken record," Stink told her. "Hardee-har-har," said Judy. "You know how you collect stuff, like Band- Aids?" said Frank. "You could break a record for collecting something. Like the most pizza tables." "Or scabs!" said Judy. "Bluck," said Stink. "There's a guy in here who collects throw-up bags from airplanes. He has two thousand one hundred and twelve. One bag even has a connect-the-dots drawing of Benjamin Franklin on it."

"That's way better than scabs," said Judy. "Hey, look," Rocky said, reading over Stink's shoulder. "World's longest word. Spell that and you could be the next Jessica Finch." The word was: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. "Whoa. Forty-five letters," said Frank, counting. "Not even Queen Bee herself could spell that!" said Judy. "It says here it's an ucky disease from volcanoes," Rocky said. "No lie." "Wait! I got it. There's a guy in here with the longest neck," said Stink. "We could all pull on your head to stretch your neck out!" "I want to be famous, not a giraffe," said Judy.

"With a giraffe neck you would be famous," Stink told her. "Let me see that book." Judy grabbed the book of records and flipped through the pages. Longest gum wrapper chain? It took thirty-one years to make! Longest fingernail? No way; the guy hasn't cut his thumbnail since 1952. Best spitter? Judy could spit.