06 Grumpy Bacon

Grumpy Bacon Friday came— the last day before the Book Quiz Blowout. All day at school, the clock did not seem to move. Judy began to think she knew just how Ivan the gorilla felt, pacing in his cage at the Exit 8 Big Top Mall in The One and Only Ivan. She could hardly wait to get home and practice one last lightning round with Stink. But when she hopped on the bus, Stink wasn't on it. At home, Judy ran upstairs. Stink was lying on his race-car bed, up to his neck in covers, with a thermometer sticking out of his mouth.

"Stinkerbell!" said Judy. "You're sick?" Judy ran to get her Elizabeth Blackwell doctor kit. "Stink, this is worse than Pippi Longstocking having a major case of the freckles. What do you have, anyway?" "Grumpy," said Stink. "Bacon." Grumpy! Bacon? Oh, no! Stink had measles of the

mouth. Chicken pox of the brain. He couldn't even talk right! Stink took the thermometer out of his mouth. "The school nurse says I have a sensitive stomach," said Stink. "That means tummy ache." "Oh!" said Judy. "I thought you said grumpy bacon." "Not even. It feels more like Ping-Pong ball stomach. Is that a thing?" "It is when you have a big important Book Quiz coming up," said Judy. "The good news is, the nurse sent me home early, so I got to read more books," said Stink. "More good news is Mom brought me sick food: ginger ale and buttered toast. Just like—" "Mercy Watson!" said Judy and Stink at the same time. "But the bad news is, what if I'm sick for the Book Quiz?" "I think if we just keep practicing, you'll feel better about tomorrow." Judy dug in her backpack for flash cards. "Lightning round!" said Judy. "Let's see how many questions you can answer in sixty seconds. No

peeking." Judy took out a buzzer and a sand timer from one of her board games. "Do I get to buzz in?" Stink asked. "I get to buzz in, right? Because using the buzzer is good for a sensitive stomach." "Fine." Judy handed over the buzzer. She flipped the sand timer over. "Go! What's the name of the brave pig in Charlotte's Web?" Bzzz. "Wilbur." "Who keeps a polka-dot horse on her porch and a monkey named Mr. Nilsson?" Bzzz. "Pippi Longstocking." "What street do Ramona the Pest and her cat, Picky-picky, live on?" Bzzz. "Klickety-Klackety Street."

"Sorry, Stink. It's Klick-i-tat Street. Next question: Name three toys in Toys Go Out by Emily Jenkins." Bzzz. "StingRay; Lumphy, a buffalo; and Plastic, a ball." "In Invisible Inkling, a boy named Hank has an invisible friend. What kind of animal is Inkling?" Bzzz. "A bandicoot!" "A banda pat! Can you tell me where Inkling is from?" Bzzz. "The Peruvian Woods of Mystery." "Good. Whose bizarro library has holograms and hovercrafts and a white tiger?" Bzzz. "Mr. Monticello." "Wrong! Stink! You always say Mr. Monticello! It's Mr. Lemoncello." Judy made a sour-ball face. "Think of sour lemons. Lemonheads. Lemon pie." Ding-dong. The doorbell rang. Judy ignored it. "What is Mr. Popper's job in Mr. Popper's Penguins?" "He paints houses," said fellow Bookworm Frank Pearl, coming into Stink's room. "I remember because I read all the animal books twice."

"Hey, you can be in the lightning round, too," Judy said to Frank. "Sure. Hit me." "Okay. This one's for you, Frank. Name three enemies of the Oompa-Loompas in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." "Easy," said Frank. "Whangwangers, snogwogglers, and swozzdoodles." Judy and Stink groaned. "What?" asked Frank.