09 Dayus Horribilus

Dayus Horribilus Judy hopped off the bus and waved goodbye to Rocky and Frank. "Don't forget my party tomorrow. Saturday. T. P. tent. Four o'clock sharp. Look for the bouncy castle!" Jessica Finch walked home with Judy. She had taken over as Judy's party planner. After all, Jessica had been to a real high tea at an actual castle. Judy had only spied on one. "So here's the thing," said Judy. "I promised my friends a bouncy castle. But Mom and Dad won't let me." "Queens don't bounce anyway," Jessica pointed out. "They don't even break a sweat. Especially not at a tea party." "What do they do?" asked Judy. "Drink tea and eat finger sandwiches and pink

foods like salmon mousse." "Moose? Where am I going to get a moose? I can't even get a bouncy castle." "Mousse is a food. Like pudding. Only it's made of fish." Fish pudding! That sounded awful fishy to Judy. "I think my friends would rather jump in a castle than eat a moose." "I have an idea," said Jessica. "Leave it to me." "This is it!" said Judy when they got to the Toad Pee tent out back. "Party Central." Jessica looked around, thinking. "Make a list." Judy picked up her Grouchy pencil. "We need a table

for the tea. Teapot. Tablecloth. Doilies. Napkins." "Nappies, check," said Judy. "Not nappies!" said Jessica. "Napkins. Nappies are diapers!" Judy crossed nappies off the list. She added real dishes. Jessica was waffling on. "We'll make name cards so everybody knows where to sit. And we'll have three different kinds of tea. Peppermint, Earl Grey..." "Earl who?" "Are you writing this down?" asked Jessica. Jessica Finch sure was bossy when it came to tea parties. "We'll have tea first, then the crowning." "How about party favors?" Judy asked. "Everyone will get a tea bag and an egg cup to take home." Tea bags? Egg cups? Judy wasn't so sure her friends were going to like this. But then she pictured herself on a velvet pillow sipping high tea and wearing the Royal Moody Sapphire and getting crowned Queen of Queens.

At last it was Saturday, the day of the right royal tea party. The T. P. tent was hung with twinkly lights and pink bunting (aka paper streamers). The table was set. The place cards were placed. The napkins were folded into swans. The tea was ready to be poured. The Toad Pee tent looked more like the Total Princess tent. Even the sugar cubes were pink. Judy sure hoped her friends liked it. All there was to do now was wait. Wait for four o'clock. Judy chewed her Grouchy pencil. She chewed her fingernail. She chewed the end of her once-purple hair hunk.

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Four o'clock came. And went. Nobody was on time. 4:03: Judy checked her watch. 4:05: Judy checked her watch again. 4:07: Judy twisted her swan napkin into a tornado. "Maybe they got the time wrong," said Judy. "The invitation said four o'clock sharp," said Jessica. "But it was in secret code," said Judy. 4:11: Judy folded an origami peacock with her doily. "It's bad manners to be late," said Jessica. "So rude." She checked and double-checked the sugar bowl. 4:15: Judy folded an origami polar bear with Rocky's doily. "It's bad manners to keep a queen waiting," said Jessica. She smoothed the tablecloth. She fluffed the