06 The District of Cool

The District of Cool Road trip! The Moodys were on their way to Washington, D.C. Double Cool! In the car, Judy could hardly sit still. In almost exactly one hour and twenty-seven minutes, she would be in the District of (not) Cooties! Except it took more like four hours because of Stink. 1.)He had to stop to go to the bathroom. 2.)He had to stop to buy some Yubba Dubba bubble gum. 3.)He saw a giant statue of a giant's head coming up out of the ground and— POP!— got bubble gum all over his face

and hair. 4.)He had to stop to get de-gummed. When at last, finally, the end, they got there, Judy had to wake him up. "Stink! We're here! The District of Coolsville!" Dad parked and they walked along the Mall that was not a mall at all. It was more like a park with a long reflecting pool and tons of

famous, cool stuff you see on money. Judy saw the fancy White House where the Big Boss of the Whole Entire Country lived. Aka the Prez. Plus the First Lady and First Kids and First Dog. Da-da-da Dome! Judy saw a big important building with a dome where some Big Important People decided Big Important Stuff like laws or something. Judy saw a tall, skinny pyramid thingie called the Washington Monument. Mom said it was almost as tall as the Eiffel Tower!

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Her eyes bugged out when she saw the real, actual statue of Abe Lincoln, called the Lincoln Memorial, just like on the back of a not-lucky penny. RARE! "I bet James Madison, best-president-ever, stood right here," said Stink. "James Madison could have spit on this sidewalk. James Madison could have eaten a hot dog on this bench." "Hot dogs weren't even invented yet," said Judy. "How do you know?" said Stink. "I know you have James Madison on the brain," said Judy. Dad checked his watch. "Who wants to go to the museum?" "Is it the boring kind? Or the way-notboring kind?" said Judy. "Way-not-boring," said Mom, pointing to a

bunch of museums that were part of the Smithsonian. "Whoa! Check it out," Stink said, running down the sidewalk. "A castle!" "Let's start there," said Dad. "It's the info center." "What do they have at this way-not-boring museum?" Judy asked. "The Hope Diamond," said Mom. "Lincoln's stovepipe hat," said Dad. "Shrunken heads and dino poop!" said Stink. "They do not," said Judy. "Yah-huh. No lie," said Stink. "I saw it when I came here before with my class. Plus they have three thousand sea slugs, fifty thousand flies, and one hundred and fifteen thousand bird eggs."