09 Poop Picnic

Poop Picnic Judy could hardly wait for the Creep 'n' Crawl! At last, it was Saturday. Aunt Opal was— slapdash— making sandwiches and jamming them into plastic bags. Wearing rubber gloves, Stink was cramming scat samples into plastic bags. Judy sat in the corner, tapping out a one- handed e-mail with the UN-Band-Aided, NOT Goliath-Glued hand. "So. We'll leave in a few minutes and eat our picnic at the cemetery, okay?" said Aunt Opal. "RARE! Extra thrill points for eating with skeletons! I need 'em because— guess what?— Amy just went swimming with a shark!"

朱迪已经迫不及待地想要看《爬行》了！终于到了星期六。 奥珀尔姨妈正在草草地做三明治，然后把它们塞进塑料袋里。 臭臭戴着橡胶手套，把粪便样本塞进塑料袋里。 朱迪坐在角落里，用联合国创可贴而不是歌利亚胶的手敲出一封单手电子邮件。 “所以。我们过几分钟就走，到墓地去吃野餐，好吗？”奥珀尔姨妈说。 “罕见!和骷髅一起吃饭的额外刺激点！我需要它们，因为——你猜怎么着？-艾米刚刚和鲨鱼一起游泳了！”

"Lemme see, lemme see, lemme see!" said Stink, throwing his scat bags on the counter. Judy angled the computer so he could take a look. Stink read aloud. "'Dear Judy Most Moody, Yesterday, I did the most sick-awesomest thing— I SWAM with a SHARK! That's like twenty thrill points, at LEAST!'" Stink whistled. "Whoa! You're gonna lose this race SO bad. Hey, look. Your ring is GREEN! Green with ENVY!" Judy looked down at her mood ring. Sure enough, it was pulsing green. "Time to go!" Opal grabbed the picnic basket. Judy and Stink followed her. "Your ring is green like POND SCUM! Green like BOOGERS!"

“让我看看，让我看看，让我看看！”臭臭说着，把他的粪便袋扔在柜台上。 朱迪把电脑倾斜，让他看一看。 臭臭大声朗读。“亲爱的朱迪·穆迪：昨天，我做了一件最恶心、最可怕的事——我和鲨鱼一起游泳！至少有二十个刺激点！臭臭吹着口哨。 “哇!你会输掉这场比赛的。 嘿,你看。你的戒指是绿色的！妒火中烧！”朱迪低头看着她的情绪戒指。 果然，它是绿色的。 “该走了！”奥珀尔抓起野餐篮子。 朱迪和臭臭跟着她。 “你的戒指绿得像池塘里的浮渣！”像鼻屎一样绿！”

"Stink, you're a super-galactic booger." Judy and Stink stopped at the car. "Hey, Aunt Opal! Where are you going?" Judy called. "To the cemetery! Aren't we walking?" Judy and Stink burst out laughing. "No way. It's a million miles from here. We have to take Humphrey." "Who's Humphrey?" "That's what Dad calls our car. He says it looks like a Humphrey." Aunt Opal smiled. "Your dad used to have a bike named Humphrey. Hey, I know! Let's ride bikes!" Stink shook his head. "Not allowed. Not after dark." Aunt Opal chewed her lip. "Bummer. Okay, then— here we go, I guess."

“臭小子，你是个超级银河系的鼻屎。” 朱迪和臭臭停在车旁。 “嘿，奥珀尔姨妈！”你要去哪儿？”朱迪。 “去墓地！”我们不是在走路吗？”朱迪和臭臭突然大笑起来。 “没门。离这里有一百万英里。 我们必须带上汉弗莱。” “汉弗莱是谁?”“爸爸就是这么叫我们的车的。 他说看起来像汉弗莱家的人。” 奥珀尔姨妈笑了。“你爸爸以前有一辆叫汉弗莱的自行车。 嘿，我知道！我们骑自行车吧！”臭臭摇了摇头。 “不允许的。天黑以后不行。” 奥珀尔姨妈咬着嘴唇。“游手好闲的人。 好吧，那么——我想我们开始吧。”

Judy and Stink buckled up in the backseat. Opal put the car in gear, turned to look out the back, and lurched forward. She slammed on the brakes. "Hey! Watch out!" Judy yelled. "Um, you do know how to drive, right?" Stink asked. "Of course! I drove across the Horn of Africa... about ten years ago." She shifted the car into reverse this time, then hit the gas. The car swerved wildly into the street, screeching and jerking to a stop. "You call that driving?" Stink yelled. "Sorry. No worries. It's all coming back to me." "Watch out! You're gonna hit the—" Humphrey bumped up onto the sidewalk.

朱迪和臭臭在后座上系好安全带。 奥珀尔把车挂上挡，转身向车后看了看，踉跄着向前走。 她猛踩刹车。 “嘿!小心!”朱迪喊道。 “嗯，你知道怎么开车，对吧？”臭问道。 “当然!我开车穿越了非洲之角。 大约十年前。”这次她把车倒档，然后踩了油门。 那辆汽车急转弯冲进街道，发出刺耳的声音，猛地停了下来。 “你管这叫开车？”臭喊道。 “对不起。不用担心。我都想起来了。” “小心!你会撞到——”汉弗瑞撞到了人行道上。

"—mailbox." "Holy... crap!" shouted Aunt Opal. "You said crap! Crap's a swear!" Stink gasped. "Crap is not a swear. Is there a map in this car? I have NO idea where I'm going." Stink and Judy looked at each other with dread. Judy rustled around on the floor and found a map. "Can you get a ticket for driving too slow?" Stink asked. Aunt Opal hit the gas again. The map went flying— right out the window. After driving around and around for what felt like hours, Judy pointed to the rusty old Ferris wheel at a boarded-up amusement park. "Hey, we already passed this place like three times," Judy said.

“邮箱”。“神圣……妈的！”奥珀尔姨妈喊道。 “你说废话！”废话是脏话！”臭气喘吁吁地说。 “废话不是脏话。这辆车里有地图吗？ 我不知道我要去哪里。” 臭臭和朱迪惊恐地面面相觑。 朱迪在地板上摸来摸去，发现了一张地图。 “你开得太慢会被开罚单吗？”臭问道。 奥珀尔姨妈又按下了煤气。 地图飞了出去——飞出了窗外。 朱迪开了一圈又一圈，感觉好像开了好几个小时，她指着一个用木板封起来的游乐园里生锈的旧摩天轮。 “嘿，我们已经经过这个地方三次了，”朱迪说。

Splutter, splutter, splunk. Aunt Opal drifted into the cracked and grassy parking lot. "Uh-oh. We are Out. Of. Gas." "Not to mention... Way. Super. Lost," said Stink. Judy looked around. "Are we still even in Virginia?" "Of course we're in Virginia. See that sign?" A dusty old sign dangled from a single chain: LARKSPUR PIER. VIRGINIA'S #1 TOURIST ATTRACTION. "Can we eat? I'm starving," said Stink. "I'm Judy," said Judy. "Pleased to meet you, Starving." "Hardee-har-har," said Stink. Flap! Down came the beach blanket onto a rickety, three-legged picnic table. Judy and Stink squished into a giant cup from the old teacup

噼啪，噼啪，噼啪。 奥珀尔姨妈飘飘然地走进裂了缝、长满了草的停车场。 “哦。我们出局了。的。气。” “更不用说……道路。超级。 迷路了。”臭臭说。朱迪环顾四周。 “我们还在弗吉尼亚吗？”“我们当然在弗吉尼亚。 看到那个标志了吗？”一条链子上挂着一个满是灰尘的旧牌子：拉克斯珀码头。 弗吉尼亚州的头号旅游景点。 “我们能吃饭吗？”我饿死了。”臭臭说。 “我是朱迪，”朱迪说。“很高兴认识你，小饿。” “哈——哈——哈，”臭臭说。 瓣!沙滩毯子落在一张摇摇晃晃的三条腿的野餐桌上。 朱迪和臭臭从旧茶杯里挤进一个巨大的杯子里