04 Aunt Awful

Aunt Awful A couple days later, Judy was on her top bunk reading Nancy Drew mystery #44 when she heard a Honk! Honk! from outside in the driveway. Dad called up the stairs. "Stink! Judy! Aunt Opal's here!" Judy scrambled down from her top bunk and ran to the window. Just like Nancy Drew, she cracked the curtain to spy on this Aunt Opal person. All she could see was a pair of short blue boots sticking out from under a giant suitcase. She dropped the curtain and ran to her

computer. Dear Amy, Summer just got WAY worse. Aunt Awful has landed! Please come home ASAP. Or else send me a ticket to Borneo! Judy paced around her room, talking to Mouse. "I bet she has warts, Mouse. And evil oogley eyes. And makes us eat fish guts for breakfast!" Mouse licked his lips. Bam! Bam! Bam! Stink stuck his head in Judy's room. "Mom wants us downstairs. Now. To meet Aunt Opal." Judy pointed to the sign on the door. "Can't anybody read around here?" Stink read aloud: "'Do not disturb. Judy Moody is spending the summer in her room.'

Really? The whole summer? What about food?" Judy pointed to her window. "I have a basket. And a long rope. You can put food inside and I'll pull it up." "What about TV?" Judy held up a contraption made out of tin cans, toilet-paper rolls, duct tape, and mirrors. "What do you think this periscope is for?" "Cool! What about going to the bathroom?" Just then, a plume of black smoke wafted up the stairs. Judy heard a shriek, then a loud clatter and Mom's voice. "Oh, no! Dinner's on... FIRE!" BEEEEEEP! The smoke alarm blared through the house. Stink raced out of the room. Judy grabbed her dolphin water pistol and ran for the stairs.

"Fire! Where's the fire? Help is on the way! Let me!" Judy clattered down the stairs, her water pistol in one hand and a squirt toy in the other. Blazing into the smoky kitchen, she blasted water right, left, and center, hitting chairs, tables, Stink, Mouse, Jaws, and the smoky casserole that Mom was putting on the counter. "Stop, Judy. It's okay— STOP!" Mom said. One final blast of the squirt gun hit Aunt Opal, right between the eyes. "Oops." Aunt Opal shook her long red hair and laughed. "Judy!" Judy was instantly squished into a big bear hug. "You've been here five minutes, Opal, and already the house is on fire!" said Dad, opening

a window. Mom flapped a dishcloth over the black casserole. "Let me look at you," Aunt Opal said to Judy. "How old are you now? Twelve?" "Nine. And some quarters." Judy eyed her aunt up and down, from her hippie shirt to her bright blue boots to her arms jangling with bangles and bracelets. "Wow. You've got more bracelets than Chloe, my math tutor, and she's in COLLEGE!" Opal twisted a braided bracelet off her wrist and handed it to Judy. "Here you go. This one's made from yak hair." "RARE!" said Judy. "I bought it from a monkey in Nepal for five hundred rupees. I think I got ripped off!" Opal rummaged through a large bag. "Here's your

REAL present." She handed a small box to Judy and a book to Stink. "For me? Awesome!" said Stink. Judy flipped open the box. Inside was the mother of all mood rings—a silver snake that curled around a glowing mood crystal. "A mood ring! How did you know?" Opal winked. Judy slipped the ring on her finger. It turned bright blue. "Blue is for Happy, Glad," said Judy. Stink opened his book. "So You Want to Catch Bigfoot? Man, oh man, oh man, oh MANNN!" "I think you're a hit, Ope," said Dad, putting an arm around her shoulder. "I hate to interrupt, but what are we going to do for dinner?" Mom asked. Judy and Stink didn't miss a beat. "Pizza!