10 The Funniest Thing Ever

The Funniest Thing Ever It was pouring outside. Judy's dad would not let her leave for school without an umbrella, and the only one she could find was her first-grade yellow ducky one. She wouldn't open a baby umbrella, so she got soaked clear through. The sun is probably shining over the president's house this second, thought Judy. She felt like a bike left out in the rain. "Frank wants to come over after school too," Rocky told her on the bus. "And I have a brand new ten-dollar bill from Nay-Nay. We can go to Vic's after school and buy something really rare." "Do they have any real gold at Vic's?" was

最有趣的事外面下着倾盆大雨。 朱迪的爸爸不让她不带伞上学，她唯一能找到的伞就是她一年级时用的那把黄色的鸭子伞。 她不肯打开婴儿伞，所以全身都湿透了。 这一秒太阳可能正照在总统的房子上，朱迪想。 她觉得自己就像一辆落在雨中的自行车。 “弗兰克放学后也想过来，”洛奇在公共汽车上告诉她。 “我还有一张崭新的奈奈十美元钞票。 放学后我们可以去维克家买些稀有的东西。” “维克家有真金吗?

all she said. In Spelling, Judy wrote WEASELS when Mr. Todd had really said MEASLES. In Science, when Jessica Finch threw Judy the ball of yarn for their giant spider web, she dropped it. It rolled out the door just when Ms. Tuxedo, the principal, walked past in high heels. And at the Brush Your Teeth Week assembly, Mr. Tooth picked Judy to be a cavity. On stage. In front of the whole school.

她说的都是。在拼字课上，朱迪写的是鼬鼠，而托德先生实际上写的是麻疹。 在《科学》杂志上，杰西卡·芬奇给朱迪扔了一个纱线球，她把它弄掉了。 它从门上滚了出去。 校长燕尾服穿着高跟鞋走过。 在“刷牙周”集会上，牙齿先生选了朱迪做一颗蛀牙。 在舞台上。在全校师生面前。

She could not get her mind off Stink at the

她无法把她的注意力从臭味中移开

president's house, where she wasn't. Seeing all that real gold. Would he get to shake the president's hand? Meet the president's daughters? Sit in a gold chair? "Are flags allowed to talk?" she asked Frank. "Only if they're talking flags!" That did it. There would be no living with Stink once he had been to the president's. On the bus ride home, Rocky squirted Frank with his magic nickel. Frank snorted, wiping the drips on his sleeve. Judy pretended it was funny. Really she was thinking, Stink could be petting the president's puppy, right now, this very instant. When Rocky said, "I can't wait to go to Vic's," Judy grunted. The three of them half-ran through leftover puddles all the way to Vic's. Rocky didn't even

总统的房子，她不在那里。 看到那些真正的金子。 他会和总统握手吗? 去见总统的女儿们? 坐在金色的椅子上?“旗子可以说话吗?”她问弗兰克。 “除非他们说的是旗帜!”这就对了。 一旦他去了总统家，臭臭就没法和他一起生活了。 在回家的公交车上，洛奇用他的神奇五分钱喷了弗兰克一下。 弗兰克哼了一声，擦了擦袖子上的水滴。 朱迪假装很有趣。 她真的在想，臭臭可能正在抚摸总统的小狗，就在此时此刻。 洛奇说:“我等不及要去维克家了。”朱迪哼了一声。 他们三个人一路跑过剩下的水坑去了维克家。 洛奇甚至没有

stop to cross through China and Japan the right way. "What's the big hurry?" she asked. "I need something," said Rocky, "but there's only one left, and I want to make sure I get it!" he said. When they got to Vic's, Rocky went straight to the counter. "Over here," Rocky told them. "There's still one left!" Judy stood on tiptoes to look in a box on top of the counter. Lying in the bottom was . . . a hand. A person's hand! Judy almost screamed. Frank almost screamed too. Then they realized it was made out of rubber. "What do you think?" asked Rocky. "Rare," said Judy. "Ace," said Frank. "It looks so real. Fingernails and everything!" Rocky bought the hand and three fireballs.

停下来，以正确的方式穿过中国和日本。 “急什么呀?”她问。 “我需要一些东西，”洛奇说，“但现在只剩下一个了，我想确保我得到它!” 当他们到了维克酒吧，洛奇径直走向柜台。 “这边，”洛奇告诉他们。 “还剩一个!”朱迪踮起脚尖往柜台上的一个盒子里看。 躺在底部的是…… 。一只手。一个人的手!朱迪几乎尖叫起来。 弗兰克也差点尖叫起来。 然后他们意识到它是用橡胶做的。 “你觉得怎么样?”洛奇问。 “很少见，”朱迪说。“好极了，”弗兰克说。 “它看起来很真实。指甲什么的!”洛奇买了那只手和三个火球。

"What are you going to do with your hand?" Frank asked. "I don't know," said Rocky. "I just like it." When they got to Rocky's house, Judy tried to work on her Me collage. But she was not in a FUNNIEST THING EVER mood. All the funny stuff that had ever happened to her seemed to have gotten up and left. Marched right out of her brain like a line of ants from a picnic. Rocky showed Judy and Frank his finished collage. "Here's Thomas Jefferson in the window of my house for WHERE I LIVE. I cut him out of play money." "That's good!" said Frank. "For Jefferson

“你打算用你的手做什么?”弗兰克问。 “我不知道，”洛奇说。 “我就是喜欢它。”当他们到达洛奇的家时，朱迪试着做她的拼贴画。 但是她的心情一点也不好。 所有曾经发生在她身上的有趣的事情似乎都起身离开了。 就像野餐后的一排蚂蚁一样从她的大脑中消失了。 洛奇给朱迪和弗兰克看他完成的拼贴画。 “这是托马斯·杰斐逊在我家窗户上的《我住的地方》。 我不给他玩的钱了。” “太好了!”弗兰克说。 “对杰佛逊